Sexual Relationships
+1 y

So your lover says they love you but they prefer you to look different downstairs despite you telling them you don't want to change your appearance?

How would you feel and respond if your SO continuously asked you to change your genitalia/ pubes by sending you nudes or porn of people who have the look they desire?
So your lover says they love you but they prefer you to look different downstairs despite you telling them you dont want to change your appearance?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So a Conversation I had today brought me back to a situation long ago where a lover had more than once stated he loved the full bush look. He would beg me to let my lady parts grow wild. Its a style I detest having. I don't like the look or the feel and it makes me feel unclean. To please him I met him halfway. I gave myself a little happy trail/strip landing that ended an inch above the start of the lips. The lips and panty line I kept bare. It eased his pleading but every so often he would send me nudes or porn Requesting for what he found more pleasing. Long story short one day during a very stressful time for me he sent a nude and asked me if i'd consider doing that look for him and I finally snapped. I told him "Never. You are with the wrong girl. You can go find "her" though" I was so angry and hurt. He was giving me a complex. How can I be intimate with someone who wants me to look different. Was there something wrong with my lady parts? Not good enough? So Ugly perhaps she was best hidden behind bush? I even thought of going into chatrooms to find guys to send nudes of me for feedback. I pulled myself together though. Said to myself F*# this. I deserve better. I would never treat a man like this. I've known men between the sizes of 2.5 inches to 10. I accepted them how they were. I Told myself I'm a beautiful good woman and my Cu#t is just as gorgeous. If he doesn't appreciate my goods his lost. I'll just find myself a good man who would...
So how would you respond in such a situation? Do you think I could have handled the situation back then differently?
I would tell them off and dump them immediately
Vote A
I would tell them off so badly they would never dare mention it again
Vote B
If after giving them fair warning and they kept nagging I would end it.
Vote C
I would give in to their desires to keep them happy. Its really not a big deal.
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
For men I can understand them seeing it as a hairstyle it doesn't affect the privates. For women it does. We basically pee and bleed all over that hair. I DETEST that wet or sticky hair feeling. Its about My hygiene preferences. At first I took its just hair approach with a compromise. Its the disrespect of being compared to women who I CAN NEVER look like my! hair doesn't grow like those women. Men how would you feel if your girl sent you D!"k pics of men who you could never emulate?
+1 y
The saddest part for me was he gave me such a complex I actually tried to change my physical look by trying hair thickening and growing remedies on my upper part above the lips... It didn't go well. The products or remedies didn't work. My lady parts didn't get that fuller look those girls in the pics had. It made me feel awful 😞. But in truth its my body. I had to come to terms with myself. I reminded myself I'm gorgeous 😍 and I love me!
2 8

Most Helpful Guys

  • I learned a long time ago that when I like somebody I like them for who they are on the inside I fell in love with them because of who they are on the inside
    And there's always a moment where I close my eyes and I think about them and how beautiful they are on the inside because that's who they truly are
    With my eyes still closed I tried to picture them
    And the picture is not as clear is what I feel I can feel who they are I can feel the beauty within I can see the beauty within that's the part that I fell in love with because that's what I feel
    In so many different ways the outside of a person doesn't really mean anything I mean it does but it doesn't that's not who they are if we are just into it because of what they look like then that's not real because that changes each and every day that's not what they feel that's not how they think the outside of the body is just that the outside of their body it's only for the eyes it's not for the heart just think if everybody was blind and they could not see who's that person is that would change everything because you have to feel who the person is you have to hear the heartbeat the Mind think that's who you truly fall in love with not of what something looks like the outside of the body is just an extra bonus that's all there is to it it just enhances who they are on the inside if you want to be with somebody just because of the way they look is never going to last ever either that or you're just a shallow person and you're not being honest I don't understand that guy I really don't want to understand them lol to be honest I don't know what you look like but I know your words I can feel your words and that makes you who you are and I think that's a good very beautiful person the outside is just all an extra bonus so I look at it a lot of different ways it sounds like you've bent and you've bent and you've bent over try to please but when you keep doing it and there's no thankfulness for it and they just keep wanting more and more and more that's a form of control and it would piss me off too enough is enough you either like me for who I am and the things that I have done but don't like me just because of a look are certain things that you want and when I give you what you want you keep wanting more and more and and there's no gratefulness that's control that's not love I think you had every right to do what you did good because it was your way to find the answer for you and that's all that mattered at that moment and really that's all that does matter is she to a person that's not going to be grateful I think you did the right thing it's too bad that you couldn't feel what he was doing and that he had to see it and no matter what he seen it didn't matter to him anyway is more control I think well I hope you understand what I was trying to say it's kind of all out there but I know what I was trying to say LOL

  • OK so first of all sorry that happened to you.
    It sucks when people don’t listen to your feelings. Particularly when those feelings are about yourself, and it’s the one person that probably should care.


    That’s said, and I really want you to understand you’re perfectly fine just the way you are. Please don’t ever let other people determine who you are, or what you look like.
    Also when people try make sure to nip it in the bud early. That way people can’t make habit of said behavior. Well at least when it involves you anyways.


    It’s never a good thing to be compared to other people, and to have false expectations put on ones self by others.
    I’m glad you were able to find the reality that you are beautiful just the way you are, and seem to have found your strength which fortunately often comes after we take a stand for ourselves as people. As you have learned.


    As for my response to the same situation…
    to be honest when it comes down to it my hair it grows back, and it just doesn’t matter much to me. As for my response to a similar situation “leave my beard the hell alone, and no I will not shave it for you!” as said to an ex Very directly. No that’s not the reason I broke up with her her narcissism however was.


    That said everyone is different, and views their body in their own unique way. So i’d say do what makes you happy.

    People often think that just; because you’re in a relationship with somebody that doesn’t mean there are any boundaries, but the reality is that people grow together by setting boundaries. People learn how to deal with one another through gaining understanding of one another especially each other’s boundaries.


    Overtime certain boundaries can be let go; because trust has developed. That said there are always others that are not just boundaries, but simply a part of who we are not only physically, but psychologically as well. Those boundaries should never be crossed.

    Finding a partner who can understand that, and respect the fact that there are certain boundaries that can’t be crossed is important to every individual who will ever seek love in another.



    Nevertheless that’s my opinion on the matter, and I’m glad that things are working out for you now in days.
    Love yourself, love those close to you, love the world, and in doing so you will find your own happiness. 👍😁

    • Thank you for understanding

Most Helpful Girls

  • We should all be accepted for who we are.

    If who we are is not what you are looking for, that is fine but don't spend your time trying to change us, as that road always ends in disappointment.

    So your lover says they love you but they prefer you to look different downstairs despite you telling them you don't want to change your appearance?

    • 😍🥰 Thank you Laurie very nicely said.

    • Always speak the truth. You're welcome :)

  • I mix up my pube styles so my guy never gets bored so this wouldn't be a issue for me. If for some reason it became a issue I'd probably just tell him to leave.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 38

  • For me, my own pubic hair doesn't matter that much. I would shave or let it grow if it meant something to a partner. I usually like to keep it trim as a personal preference. I also shave my armpits as personal preference (I feel it is cleaner).

    I prefer my partner to be clean shaven or waxed, but I wouldn't press or complain to her about it. What would happen though is I would probably be less inclined to certain actions like eating her out. I"m just not into a nose tickled with pubes up it, and getting pubes in my teeth or one stuck in my throat (I've had all these happen, it's not just a made up irrational fear). I like licking a smooth pussy. Some say it's infantilizing and I get that, but also I just think smooth feels and looks nicer. Same as with my pits, and no one has ever accused me of infantilizing my pits, lol.

    But if not shaving or shaving means a lot to you, then my answer isn't valid for you. You have a different feeling about your hair and the mess and all that. I mean, you and I are in agreement, but if we weren't, it's your body and your hair, and what you care about. I think part of a relationship is communicating and weighing how much the stakeholders care about something. Maybe you detest Mexican food, it makes you want to puke, and I love it. I'm not going to make you eat something that makes you nauseous. But lets say you love Greek food and I don't really care one way or the other. Gyro to me is just another type of wrap or sandwich, whatever I don't see the big deal. Since you love it so much, let's go get the Greek food. But if I hated it too, we'd have to find a compromise. Sometimes you can get both people happy, but sometimes there's just one vagina and one way to style it.

    PS sorry you went through that. Hopefully you find yourself a bare pussy loving man who will lap it up.

  • Get over it and do it. This is infantile. Some women in my past were OCD. So clean was a big deal…so I shaved myself clean. The only downside was…still is…. you can hear me fart now🙃. FYI, I’ve spent my life on soccer pitch h and at least a 1/3, especially Europeans, are shaved. It’s not a big sacrifice…

    • For a man sure its easier since its higher up and doesn't actually affect the privates but my argument is to keep myself mostly shaved. I don't care for the wild jungle look downstairs. It feels awful and its worst during the time of the month. Even if this was just about pubes a situation were a person can't accept you for who you are even when you try to meet them half way is never infantile. Its disrespectful to nag and send continuous nudes of a genitalia that can't be achieved. Thats the worst constantly seeing pics of girls with a full thick heavy bush that I can't naturally or unnaturally have (does unnatural even exist? I've never heard of any having hair implant surgery below 🤭) .

    • Gotcha but wrong…my “Ovaries” are on the outside and are not smooth…. Grow the bush just because he likes it. Throw the guy a bone. It could be the best thing ever for you. If he does not possess a serving kinda of heart…I’m sure he will appreciate you for it. If he does not THEN 🤷🏻‍♂️. Good luck with the chaos. Might change his mind after it grows in 😉

    • Nah not worth it Im not changing my lifestyle for an individual who can't accept me for me. and it is a lifestyle choice. Guys aren't the one who have to deal with knots in their pubes because it got covered in sticky blood. And guys dont have to worry about pubes getting stuck on the tape of pads and then having to yank it off and guys dont have to worry about continuous wiping to dry the pubes after they get soaked from urine... Nah I'll pass.

    • Show All

  • I woul try to find a compromise - as you did - but persistent nagging is a sign of things to come. Who wants to live with a nag the the rest of their life?

  • it's one thing to ask if you ever considered growing out your pubic hair... It's another to insist that you do. I've always shaved my scrotum/shaft, and luckily my wife likes that as well. If a partner asked me to shave more I might do it as a surprise/treat but let it grow back after. To me, things like pubic hairstyles are temporary, so I'm not too worried about it, as long as they don't obsess about it.

    • Yes its what I mean exactly. The issue for me was the constant nagging for an appearance I can't physically accomplish! And no respect for my hygiene preferences

  • It is your choice! A guy may suggest a different look, and tell you what he prefers to see, but then he should accept what you decide to do with it. If hair/no hair/partial hair is that important to him, he should find a gal who either believes the same or is willing to give up what she prefers.
    Also, I think the parts between your legs are beautiful and very erotic. I am surprised that so many men prefer that their partner hide that behind a jungle.
    So you do you for yourself and any guy would be lucky to be with you!

  • Dang! What a dimrod he was! Sorry you had to put up with that. Sending you pics of other women and telling you he prefers their pussy to yours? WTF? Glad you ditched that dude. Your pussy is beautiful just the way it is. You groom it how you want! And just for the record.. smooth vaginas are freakin sexy! You do you!

  • That's a very close peeve of mine as well. I prefer hair trimmed. This isn't easy but I'm going to be honest with you, could be something similar happened to him or entirely different who knows. I was molested by my sister from age 4-12 until I was old enough to fight her off. I would be smothered with pillows if I didn't do what she wanted. She was around 13 when it started, bigger & stronger than me.

    One of her friends was involved as well & they were doing it to her brother too. Anyway that took me a VERY long time of reading books about psychology & seeing therapists to move past. Even to this day I have problems seeing shaved because it takes me back to that.

    I told my older brother what was going on, my sister convinced me we did something great & to be proud of, I didn't know any different, got slapped in the face & never spoke of it again until later in life.

    I tried talking to a couple close friends growing up about it & was told "must of been great" laughed at & made fun off. Now I don't care what people think, want to judge me fine. I'll endure it like everything else I have.

  • I think that that area belongs to you and you keep it groomed however you feel comfortable with it appearing and feeling. If you want to accommodate your lover then do so. If you don't want to groom or not groom for them then you have to make it clear that it's not going to happen. Stop sending me porn with what you want. It's not going to happen and if you continue you won't be getting anymore of this pussy

  • I don't make a big deal out of it. I keep it however my sexual partner prefers. Same with other body hair (chest, armpits - if she insists on it I would even shave my legs, done it a couple of times). My girlfriend did let her bush grow because I like it, I really appreciate it. She doesn't really like the look, but she has gotten used to the bush and doesn't mind keeping it. If she would really have an issue with the bush though, I can understand if she would shave. But my preference is really a bush, I find that very attractive and erotic.

    • Regarding trying to get a fuller bush by using hair thickening products and hair growth remedies, my girlfriend doesn't have a very dense bush either. But I know she simply can't grow a big dense bush. Frankly, I appreciate that every bush is unique, and hers is not that dense, not curly at all, but it feels soft and fluffy. It fits her and I love it because that's how her pubic hair is in its natural state. I just appreciate it that I get to experience her bush like it naturally is.

  • I would never say or even think that. My mom always told me: "Eat what you are served" and I can't change my primary weapon.

  • I had one ex-girlfriend who had a little hair down there and it wasn't a full bush and it made me happy but she laid like a stiff board, I said to myself spread them dam legs so I can go into that stuff but she refuse... The full bush makes me so dam hard and horny as hell but I totally respect a girl's wish not to have a full bush my last ex-gf
    was shaved and just couldn't get hard.

  • I would shave myself if she wanted. I have done a lot more for sex.

    • Lol I dont mind shaving but what he wanted I physically couldn't accomplish. My hair just doesn't grow that full and wild.

    • I just read the update and I guess I agree with you. You let it grow a little bit and that should have been enough. Personally I do not know what the big deal is.

  • I would say this

    My body my choice, you don't like it, you can just duck off

  • I don’t shave down there but I wouldn’t have a problem doing it if my partner preferred it.

  • I already keep it as they say

    • Thanks for the reply I appreciate it but can you say a little more. As in you do what a man prefers? But is that because of the line of business you are in? Too be what men want? After all thats what pays in such a business. Say though you are continuously compared to women who has a different look than you have naturally...

    • Well yes it is one of the reasons... I keep my pussy absolutely smooth n clean coz most people like it that way n yes u r right thats how i get paid more😋😋 But apart from my work my husbands also want me to keep it bare n smooth so i keep it that way n benefit both at work n in personal capacity as well hehe

    • I sorry to do this to you lol 😆 asking for forgiveness ahead of time for putting u on the spot... So smooth and bare pays more we all know that and you do too... What would you do if your husband was a bush freak nagging you for a jungle down below 🤭 your livelihood and pay demands smooth and the hubby pleads for wild cave woman lol how would you manage this situation (asking cuz I legitimately want your input)

    • Show All

  • I wax and prefer shaven. I honestly have an extremely hard time finding someone who’s unshaven attractive. It’s a mental thing for me and I prefer oral sex more often than not. It’s rarely ever a problem but if it were I would honestly and unfortunately have trouble being aroused if a partner were to grow it wild. Sorry just being honest.

  • I'm offering this to contribute t the amity of the world. If you send me a few different pussy shots, maybe videos wiould be even better, I'll tell you which one got me the hardest

    • Google it... you'll get faster results In the meantime you can just answer the post here's the ssimplified version so you can better understand the question better: do you like receiving d*"k pics from your girlfriend telling you this is what she prefers to f*"# and suck instead of what you have to give?

  • Her body, her choice.
    I love her for her. Not her curlies.
    I've never pushed.
    Heavy jungle or bald, I'm all in.

  • I man scape regularly, it's not a big deal.

    • I was a girl with a full girl scape before him But his motto was the BUSHIER the better however based on the pics he sent I could never have given him what he want even if I went full bush because my hair didn't grow the same way those girls did 🤷

  • Wouldn't bother me! I would be happy to cut my hair however she likes it.

    • I saw your update. I think I get what you're saying. Thanks for enlightening us with that perspective.

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