If you’re getting to know someone and on the verge of dating them, but they sleep with someone else during that period, would you still pursue?

I was watching a show and the guy called it quits because the girl screwed someone while trying to build up something with him as well. It wasn't cheating since they both knew they were getting to know others, but i do find it disrespectful.
She got mad at him for finding out and at the other guy for possibly ratting her out. But you’d think she’d be mad at herself for even doing it or keeping it secret. She claims it no one elses business what she does but i feel others should be told that they’re not the only one you’re likely banging within a short period of time. What if one of them would’ve caught something or given her something?
I’m glad he had the standards to walk away. But I dont expect others to agree and just want to see where everyone stands. I’ve stated before that I’m not for casual sex and have to be in a longterm relationship to consider sex. If he just goes around banging people while getting to know me, I wouldn't be able to take him seriously. I’d assume he lacks patience and/or acts on impulse and easily gives into temptation. #FeelFreeToList #RomancingTheStone
Updates:
1 y
On another show, the guy slept with two girls and told the third, “But you’re the one i love THE MOST.” Lmao she wanted to save sex til later in the relationship and he thought by telling her thag, he’d still get to hit. She had so called standards and broke up with him. But she came back like a month later and is now dating him 🤣 I guess she just needed time to make sure he was “clean” again
1 y
To go into more detail about this first scenario… So its a show similar to the Bachelor/ette, so of course all of the men know she's dating them/getting to know them. Bt i just find it disrespectful that you sleep with em (especially so early on in the show) and expect more than a handful of guys/girls to still Want to date you. Of course she felt no shame and said she was an adult and could do adult things but still. She had no respect for the other suitors in my opinion
1 3

Superb Opinion

  • Well when the girl had sex with someone else while building up a relationship with some other guy is not a completely right thing to do, its not completely wrong either. Of course, having sex while try to build a relationship. The biggest mistake was not making it completely clear that until they are in a proper relationship, its ok go out to other people, which is completely reasonable. And one could say that the girl was just really tempted and couldn't control herself, which could be the case, but in the end if the relationship between the guy and the girl worked properly and actually into a more romantic relationship then that issue goes away as she now actually has someone to come back to for more "Stuff". Again, not making it clear was the biggest problem here, its very necessary to make it clear whether a person is comfortable with having sex with other people while building a relationship or not.

    • She doesn't regret it and even stated before hand that she's an adult and should feel no shame 💀

    • Its nothing to feel ashamed about, she wanted to do it and she did it. Just because she is building a relationship with someone doesn't mean they are completely obligated to be with them entirely

Most Helpful Guy

  • For me it would depend how many dates we've had, how things have gone etc. It wouldn't be a "good thing" for sure. Especially when I personally focus on one person when I'm dating (I couldn't image dating more than 1 at the same time), but to each their own, I'm not saying it's wrong or anything. But I would feel she's not into me at all (or question it a lot), and would feel like I was probably wasting my time dating her if I learned of that. But again, depends on how things have gone. Example if we've only had say 2 dates, I would probably be much more "forgiving" vs if we've had 5

Most Helpful Girls

  • Curious question, because it made me realize the similarities between two relationships where that was the case. They both dragged on for way too long and involved a lot of painful betrayal.
    Even now, I think, hey, life happens, but that is very interesting that both followed a very similar course.

  • That would be a no.. if they're really interested in you and want to date/be in a relationship with you why would they sleep with someone else? Actions speak louder than words and that would tell me they weren't the right person for me..

    • I agree

    • But so many people think it's okay these days. I asked a similar question recently and the replies to that post🤦🏼‍♀️... They not only think it's okay, they think it's not the other person's business... And I strongly disagree.. I would think I'd have a right to know if the person in deciding if I want to date, be in a relationship with, move in with, marry, etc. is fucking other people while claiming to be into me... And if people "really" believe it's okay, why are they usually dishonest about it, hide it from people

    • Thats why i’d make the person get tested before we have sex. You can't trust that they're only with you and no one else. People assume that they can do whatever if you’re not “official” but even in the “talking stage” the guy and i agree to not get physical with anyone else

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

9 37
  • Depends entirely on the person, why I like them, what I like about them, how much I want them, what my intentions are, what their circumstances are, what my circumstances are...
    All I can say, I wouldn't be mad at them for doing it, if they were honest with me the entire time. Because then it's always up to me to figure out my own boundaries and properly communicate them.

    • Ooo quite mature

  • If I was "on the verge of dating them", then we are not yet dating, and they owe me nothing. If was interested in her, I would still pursue, in case she broke up with him and became available. If we were already dating, then I would feel she cheated on me and would end it.

    • A lot of people on the verge of dating are in the talking stage and usually make it known they dont want you sleeping with others. Its often an unspoken thinng. Sorta common sense depending on boundaries

  • No, will not pursue. It is a sign of poor impulse control to me. Also, the person doesn't seem ready for a committed relationship if they couldn't wait until "soon" becoming my partner to get laid.

    • I agree

    • It might appeal to someone who wants/tolerates open relationships :) but that's just not me.

  • That actually DID happen to me once when I was in my mid thirties. I was building a relationship with a woman. Or at least I thought I was building a relationship with her. And then this happened. I just let it go and didn't pursue it any further. It looked like it was working out better with her for that guy, I figured. And it made me jealous.

    • You were right to be jealous and offended

    • @dizzydesii Funny thing was she ended up supporting that guy for years, until he finally found a decent paying job when he was around 40. To each their own.

  • Even if it technically not cheating, she was acting like a ho.

    • If you’re getting to know someone and on the verge of dating them, but they sleep with someone else during that period, would you still pursue?

  • No I wouldn't.

  • nope... I only dive into things with someone that´s actually into me as I would be into them... if there´s third parties involved to this degree, then we´re just not a thing

    • Its a dhow similar to the bach

    • no triangles for me...

  • No, definitely not. That sounds like trouble and isn't worth going through.

    • It seems so common today in todays hookup culture

    • That's unfortunate.

    • Very

  • No way... yuck.

  • Long as they're clean, I don't care. We weren't dating then.

  • How would I know?

    • People talk

    • No, I would not.

    • @Dargil She means the other people talk.

  • Since we're not officially dating then she can have sex with whoever she wants in that time but Im not going to pursue her anymore.

    • Oh yes they have the freedom to do it but they’re also freeing me from anything we were ever going to have lmao

    • What kind of shows do you watch? lmao

    • Plenty but the ones above are reality, soap operas and rom dramas haha

  • I would not, no. I don't believe in last hurrahs in sexual conquests. It's highly unattractive in my eyes. For me sex shouldn't just be with anyone but a special someone. I'm not into the people who participate in casual sex, never have been.

    • Sadly it wasn't even a last hurrah. She still has many men left in her show to date. Im afraid to know how many more she wouldve slept wit had this not got out

    • Wow that's sleazy and disgusting

  • When I met my SO I just lost interest in everyone else. If she had slept with someone else when we were first dating I would have figured she wasn’t that into me and I would have moved on.

    • Right on

  • No i won't continue

  • I probably would not. I think that it would show me that she would not be serious about a relationship.

    • I fully agree

  • No I wouldn't because I want a serious relationship not a fling.

  • I mean if we’re not dating I can’t really be mad at them because it’s not like they’re cheating or anything.

    but I reserve the right to not want to be with someone who sleeps around. Or who would go sleep with someone one else while trying to build a relationship with someone else.

    • Very true

  • I don't persue, but if I did, I'd immediately lose interest in her over that.

  • Lots of low self-esteem here...
    Loving yourself enough to not drop ones standards is a big deal.

    • She said she felt not shame and could do adult things

  • Show More (26)