I feel extremely insecure about my boyfriend and his stepsister's relationship. How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Ok so before I met her for the first time my boyfriend described her as "pretty, but like my sister" I thought this was a really weird comment but he has adhd so he says a lot of weird stuff.

I feel extremely uncomfortable around them because of the way they've interacted in the past. One time about a year ago we were celebrating her and her dads birthday (my bfs stepfather) and his posture was fixated on her all night (sitting facing her, barely talking with me). Then they got kind of drunk and as we all were going upstairs to go to bed she was going to shower. They were joking about something and my boyfriend said "if you don't stop I'll go in with you"

Suffice to say I couldn't help feeling disgusted by the comment. Feeling a bit drunk myself I confronted him asking if he was into her. He seemed shocked and weired out saying "she is my sister" but I felt sick to my stomach the entire time and I wouldn't ever make a comment about that to someone I considered family.

The worst part is that she is totally his type. He likes blondes (he follows a million blonde models on insta) and she has a good body because she is a swimmer. Im definitely not ugly, I have a good body even though I don't work out but I would consider myself brainy compared to her. She is definitely hotter than me.

Anyways, my boyfriends mother is having a 50th birthday this summer and she is attending of course. I'm considering not going because I feel traumatized by my boyfriend's comments and interactions with her that I would just rather not want to witness it. He is totally free to go but my insecurity is keeping me from wanting to join.

Despite bringing this rather embarrassing topic up with him, I don't feel any reassurance at all.

Yes, I watch porn. Maybe too much. My boyfriend is good to me and we have a good relationship. This is the only thing that stops me enjoying my relationship with him fully.

Any advice would be great.

[ohshee]

You have how to either ask him which I wouldn't if I was you but you have to let it go don't worry about them worry about you and him because if you keep worrying about those two you're going to blow with him look at it if they're doing something sooner or later you'll find out it's not that big of a deal then you can just walk out the door but to go through bulshit every day in your head and in your heart all you're doing is making yourself sick probably so you need to stop doing that brothers and sisters your clothes stepbrothers and sisters are even closer sometimes it doesn't mean that they're doing anything they're just trying to be each other's friends

[OlderAndWiser]

You need to decide if this guy is your Future Forever. You have dated long enough that you should have at least a preliminary answer to that question. If he is your future, you need to work on this and become an integrated part of his family because, if you don't have the support of his family (as well as yours,) the relationship will probably not succeed.

If he is not your Future Forever, then you are really just wasting time, aren't you?

[WhitneySnow]

I think your fears are justified. It sounds like he’s into her. I’ve heard this is actually kinda common among stepsiblings who were teens when their parents married, but that probably doesn’t reassure you.

[ChrisMaster69]

@whitneysnow yeah it is fairly common, however so is bullying and bunch of other issues thst seem specific to steps (throw two strangers together)

[WhitneySnow]

@ChrisMaster69 good point. Thank you.

[ChrisMaster69]

It could be, steps who become steps as teens are more likely to become attracted to each other.

they don’t develop that family thing but are more friends in the same house.

I know a couple thst have had relationships.

[TheMajesticKing777]

If anything go and see if you see anything else that might rub you off wrong, this time stay sober

[Wise4myage]

I think you need more proof than what you posted. But do keep an eye on that relationship.

[jimmy2]

Well you know on this site there girl who want to screw their brother, porn even suggest it is that you are watching. I think there might be something going on. It not good if it is. I think you might want to stay home. for now. Untill you 2 can clearly talk to each other and find forgiveness with yourself, with each other and between you 2 and Jesus