How have you gone about figuring out your partner’s sexual past or sexual partner count?

Question

So, I would be fairly direct where I can be. I don’t want to waste her time and I don’t want her to waste my time. I hold certain values, beliefs, and preferences for the women that I want to be with so I try to find out quickly if certain important or core things are met.
To me, a woman’s sexual past matters beyond just wondering if she’s STD-free. To some it can be challenge figuring this out from a date or someone you’re looking to becoming serious with, but once you gain the confidence more and more from interacting and talking with them I don’t think it should be hard to be a little more direct.
I don’t like eating with a woman, sharing the same utensils and kissing her knowing she’s had an extensive sexual past. Also, I certainly don’t want to spend a lot of my money on her. To me, a high quality woman, one of the qualities, is not having an extensive sexual history.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

No. I never asked a girlfriend about her body count and none ever asked mine.

I don't need a resume or background check to tell if a woman has good values and I don't spy on people. I couldn't care less if she's been in five previous relationships and fucked 2000 times. I'd consider that healthy and normal for an adult.
I'd be more concerned if she only had sex 200 times but with 100 different guys. That would indicate self esteem problems or other emotional issues.

One thing for sure, "purity" has no value to me at all. I like women who have strong libidos and the spirit to go out and pursue life to the fullest; to try and fail, experience joy, sorrow and disappointment, and not get discouraged. If she's with me it means that she hadn't just settled but continued to search for her perfect partner.

If I found out that someone was checking on my past, I'd drop them like a hot potato.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I have never been this kind of insecure myself so is not an actual worry to me

as for the topic in question, it all falls in place eventually, I do not rush into anything... I rather keep it organic and gradual, for whatever reason, I end up being with someone that seems to have very similar perspectives and experiences as the ones I have, might be just luck because it certainly was not by design nor by filtering or sorting, discarding or anything it is that happens once you find out someone is just "not your standard" whatever that means

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

Sexual count isn't anyones business what is a persons business is partners STD status and thats simple when the time come that the two are getting close to sexual interactions say jefore I can go further I like us both to take a STD screening together.

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

I haven't. I don't base a man's "worth" or "quality" on how many previous partners he's had. Their romantic past doesn't change who they are. If i like them then i like them 💁‍♂️

Felinegirl · Answer

Just ask them. Easy way to see if your values match too.  Personally I'd run as quickly as possible from someone like you :)

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Over the past 15 years, before I engage in a sexual relationship with a "new" partner, I get tested for STD's and so does she. I also get to know her well enough to discern her attitude about sex in a relationship. I know whether she sees sex as primarily a recreational activity or a a mean of expressing love and attachment in a committed relationship. Perhaps she was more promiscuous in her past (I was when I was much younger) but what really concerns me is her present attitude about sex.

RobT312 · Answer

Why not just ask her.
be honest with each other.
we have talked about it as a couple as the relationship evolved. However neither of us care about the past, it’s the current relationship that matters to us. we only talked about it for entertainment

ushagomez · Answer

I do so love being thought of as an object…

Apple1996 · Answer

It was pretty obvious to me that I was my husband's first everything so wasn't ever something that I questioned

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

I haven’t. I’ve been in several relationships and I personally never asked or cared to ask. I study their behavior and focus more on their personality and their views on the future. As long as she’s clean of STDs then that’s all I need to know.

slatyb · Answer

I haven't. If they want to talk about it they will.

exitseven · Answer

We both have pretty low body counts so it really was never a problem.

bowenw · Answer

It's not an issue or my business.

Phoenix98 · Answer

If I want to know my partners sexual past or sexual partner count I'll just simply and bluntly ask her. I've never really been one to beat around the bush.

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

I agree with you on a high quality women is being someone who doesn't have a long sexual past and this is because high quality women know their worth and don't waste time on things that are for the short term.