Am I right to be uncomfortable/insecure that my boyfriends bestfriend is bisexual + manipulative and in love with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My intuition on this guy has been screaming since before I even knew he was bisexual.

every intuition or feeling i’ve had, has literally been proven true each time. This guy is manipulative, wants my spot, wants me out of the picture, to make me look crazy, and wants a lot of my boyfriends attention, and even the emotional part of a relationship from my boyfriend.

i hate it. My boyfriend says it shouldn’t matter because he’s not gay (and he isn't). And that he sees the manipulative behavior he’s doing, but doesn’t hold it against him because “he might not be aware he’s being manipulative”. And also, says it doesn’t affect our relationship, and that I’m making it affect us. But thats even more manipulation on the friends behalf, NOT ME. He admitted everything this guy is doing, if it was a girl it would be a no brainer what to do. But because he’s a guy it’s acceptable.

am i wrong? This man is driving me crazy

[Guy13]

Wow…won’t your boyfriend tell this guy to get away❓ He ought to at least do that on your behalf…

I had the same sort of thing with a gay guy…started out I was with a lady friend who is lesbian. “You’re not gay are you❓“ No I’m not. He’s around her every time I’m around her.. Dude followed me home from a pub and I didn’t know. I told him a number of times, “look you are not going to make me gay…I’m not impressed by dick…if spent my whole life in soccer lockeroom etc..”. Now he’s got other people keeping an eye on me…I need to get a girlfriend…LIKE NOW.

[RobT312]

Bad situation for you. I think your boyfriend needs to talk to his friend.

from personal experience, I have a bisexual friend, he likes both my girlfriend and I .
he respects our relationship however. If he ever pulled that shit with me, making either my girlfriend or myself uncomfortable, then I’d correct it or he’d be out!

[Secret6620]

Honestly, if I were in your position, I would probably feel the exact same way.

Sounds like a very uncomfortable situation to be in. Hopefully nothing is amiss

[Secret6620]

Yay! Thank you for most helpful girl

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean... It sounds like you're just insecure and biphobic and letting it run with you.

Where's the proof of your claims? Aren't you just being paranoid?

[Asker]

I’m not biphobic at all. I posted this question under sexuality to get a more thought through response than the typical “i think your boyfriend is gay ha ha”. And kept it short so people would actually read it. I’ve had suspicions something was off about the guy since the beginning. My boyfriend has a few bi friends, and I’ve never had the same feeling about them. Multiple people have said that they think the guys inlove with my boyfriend even my boyfriend thinks so. He likes to sleep on boyfriend floor instead of the guest bed. When my boyfriend said no to sleeping on his floor (for me) the guy didn’t even want to stay over at all, and chose to go home. He says things to my boyfriend like He needs to prove the friendship bc it doen’t feel real. He needs 8hr + hangouts with my boyfriend. All his attention. He gets mad at things and guilts my boyfriend for not doing the same thing a girlfriend would be upset for. Spending time with other people, not feeling emotionally connected enough, not going above and beyond for him, not enough time, he’s always telling him he spends too much time with me, bc we’re in a relationship. and more. Idt it’ll all fit in a comment. I told my boyfriend, he should cut him off temporarily, just so the guy can have the space to actually detach romantic feelings and move onto someone else. He did for a short period, and the guy threatened to kill himself after 3 days no contact. And since my bfs been short with him, he’s being petty saying he won't participate in group activities bc my boyfriend won't spend 1 on 1 time with him

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Oof, yeah, that's a lot of proof. Yeah, this guy is not healthy, mentally, and your boyfriend should definitely distance himself from this guy for your boyfriend's own mental health. You know, you could defend your boyfriend, too. He might need help driving this crazy guy off. It's ok to back up your loved ones. I think this guy refusing to participate if your boyfriend won't spend time with him is a blessing. Encourage that. But yeah, you're not in the wrong. But your boyfriend might need help driving this guy away. It's also worth reporting him to cops for threatening to kill himself - that is a huge red flag for someone that needs intensive mental health intervention. You're in the right. This guy shouldn't be around your boyfriend. And if I were you, I'd be protective of your boyfriend. He sounds like he needs help getting rid of this stalker.

[boggboss]

But qhat are u insecure about what do u think is going to happen

[Asker]

The guy is manipulative. He’s like a bug in his ear saying negative things about me trying to pull him away from me. And the guy is so close to my boyfriend, he trusts every word he says dearly, as if he is his lover

[Asker]

The guy is in love with my boyfriend. People do crazy shit when love can’t and won't be requited. Which he has been doing

[boggboss]

But again what are u insecure about do u trust your boyfriend?

[Wise4myage]

Yes, you most do have that right and it sounds like that guy is not a good match for you.

[Asker]

Why do you say he isn't a good match?

[Wise4myage]

Because he's bi?

[Asker]

My boyfriend is not bi. His best friend of 10+ years came out bi

[Wise4myage]

Thanks, but it seems you have an issue with that?

[Asker]

Not that he’s bi. More that the guy is in love with my boyfriend

[billluc69]

you should explore it together