Am I a piece of shit for this? How long to wait until I know I'm pregnant or not while on birth control?

[Anonymous]

I feel like complete shit. I'm depressed and stressing out. I been dating this man for almost 9 months. About 3 months ago he told me to tell him if I have to take antibiotics so we don't risk pregnancy.
A month ago we started having sex for 1 week. Then just past weekend we had sex again. I got a UTI Sunday evening painful to pee. By Tuesday I couldn't take it no more and told dr. Dr gave me antibiotics and I took it. So I told him that I started antibiotics Tuesday night. He started freaking out and got mad at me. He said it can affect my birth control and I was suppose to wait 5 days after he cummed in me. Now I'm stressing out like crazy because I have to wait like a month to get blood pregnancy test. I'm afraid he will never speak to me again. I dont want to be pregnant either which is why I been on birth control. i feel like shit because I was going to tell him before taking it yesterday but felt embarrassed I had uti and didn't want him to not give me dick for awhile, but now I fucked myself up because possibly no more dick from him at all since he doesn't trust me no more. I told him it wasn't on purpose. I wish I can go back in time and tell him to not have stress. I hate myself so much and im so stupid. I understand if he hates me and doesn't want anything with me anymore. I have so much anxiety not knowing whats going to happen next few months

[vapido]

You're not stupid. But you are worrying about the wrong things, and your partner is being unreasonable.

First of all, if he's going to dump you because he can't F you for a few days, then you're with Mr. Wrong. Dump him first, before he has a chance to dump you. It might teach him a lesson (though I doubt he is teachable).

Second, why are you believing what *he* tells you about sex, birth control and antibiotics? You need to ask your doctor about these things, or at least find a TRUSTWORTHY and accurate medical site on the Internet that can answer these questions (Mayo clinic's web site comes to my mind, but there are others)

Third, ask him to wear a condom for a few days. If he says that's not an option, then, again, he is Mr. Wrong and needs to be sent back to his mommy until he grows up.

Fourth, there *are* other sexual activities that are enjoyable and don't risk pregnancy. If these are not an option for him, then yet again, he is Mr. Wrong, and you know what to do.

[Asker]

You're right. I did my research on Monday to see if my antibiotic would interfere with my birth control and it says no. I even asked my doctor and he said to not have sex while on antibiotics but if we do just use condom. I told myself on Monday I won't have sex until I'm off antibiotics and thats why I told him yesterday but I can't believe how he's acting. I told him I feel like shit especially because my uti symptoms have pain and its sad how he just said "you should feel like shit". Like omg I regret even telling him it would have been better off keeping it a secret

[Anonymous]

Well you needed to take medicine for your condition, don’t be so hard on yourself, it doesn’t always mess up your birth control, probably could have had him use condoms, you’ll have to wait until your period to know now but not months

[Asker]

The bad thing is I haven't had my period since September because of my birth control so I really dont know when exactly to take my pregnancy test. Yeah it was getting really painful to pee I was even crying. The reason I feel like crap is because he put me down calling me "dumb irresponsible" and he kept saying im wrong and he told me "fuck you!". I have been researching and so far it says that antibiotic doesn't interfere, but he thinks it will. Its his fault too he says no to condoms.

[Asker]

He also kept telling me that I ruined his life and that im a big fuck up. His words really hurt me 😔

[Opinion Owner]

He sounds like he has the problem, now you know his true colors

[Asker]

Yeah he really does have problems and he acts as if I'm actually pregnant and going to give birth or something. He's giving more unnecessary stress. Its more frustrating when he knows I won't have a baby because my syndrome will cause serious complications during pregnancy like why would I even risk that? he's so mad he even walks past me without saying a word. So frustrating! Like grow up and talk. Lately he's been so demanding too treating me like a child snapping his fingers

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like he could be an abusive guy, a lot of red flags with this guy, maybe you should rethink the relationship

[Asker]

Yeah he actually is he never hit me but he has been controlling me more and more. He abuses me mentally and emotionally by saying put downs. He also tells me I will never succeed in life and will never get a better job.

[Asker]

Its sad because each time I pull away or try to he convinces me somehow by being extremely nice or romantic towards me almost like a luring trick and its like a never ending cycle

[Opinion Owner]

Well that’s not good, why put up with that?

[Asker]

I guess its because I don't believe that I can find anyone better or that nobody else wants me. I lack self esteem. My mom would always put me down when I lived with her and it sucks that I told him about how my mom was I almost feel he used it against me

[Asker]

I try telling myself screw it just be single but its that stupid fear I have and I know he knows. And when he says mean things I just shut down. You would think I would say fuck it and leave but its the opposite I just worry of being alone

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I know, been single for 6 years now

[Asker]

It really sucks because I would avoid him so much back then but he kept talking to me and now I'm in this stupid situation

[Opinion Owner]

Well you’re still young so you wouldn’t have been brought and getting another guy, you shouldn’t be worried about being single too long

[Opinion Owner]

Wouldn’t have a problem getting another guy I meant

[Asker]

Yeah I try not to worry about that but he tells me that a guy would not be able to handle me because I cry a lot. I never felt so down in my life. I feel my life just keeps getting worse everyday

[Opinion Owner]

He shouldn’t do that

[Asker]

I know right and he even says his ex was better than me in so many ways and that I can't do anything on my own. I think thats the worse part being told that you're not good enough or that someone else was better than you.

[Anonymous]

You’re not stupid and you should be fine. The only antibiotics that are known to interfere with birth control are rifampicin and rifabutin. You should not have been given either for a UTI. He’s freaking out over nothing. His behavior towards you is way out of line and should be a warning to you about how he will treat you in the future when he’s angry. I’d reconsider this relationship if I were you. Huge red flag. Besides, if he’s that worried about pregnancy, he has the ability to wear a condom or pull out when you have sex.

[Asker]

He also kept saying "never again" that he's never having sex with me again because im "irresponsible and dumb". He's overreacting so much its ridiculous. I can't believe how much stress and anxiety he has given me. I couldn't even sleep last night I was just crying from feeling so down. It would have been better off not telling him about antibiotics I knew it

[Opinion Owner]

He’s the one who is dumb. He clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about when it comes to drug interaction here. He’s ignorant and abusive. I’d say you actually were better off by telling him. This is a side of him you needed to see. Can there be a future for this relationship when he treats you this way because he’s angry? Behavior patterns tend to repeat themselves. Get ready for more of the same if you stay. I’d be the one telling him “never again”.

[sugarboyy]

I'm sorry for you. You're going through stressful times with a severe depression.

[Anonymous]

This guy sounds like a jerk so don't be so hard on yourself.

[Asker]

Yeah he is! He was making me feel like im selfish for not waiting on antibiotics but now I'm starting to see he is selfish. How can he let me be in pain that long? There was no way I could wait until Friday to take antibiotics if 2nd day was horrible already

[Opinion Owner]

Try not to worry and he doesn't seem to care about you. So don't feel like shit because of him.

[Asker]

I'll try my best to keep my mind off and stay away from him. I just hate how he tries putting full blame on me and as if he never made any mistakes in his life. You and the others are making me feel better because you guys are making me realize he's being an asshole

[Opinion Owner]

Ok I hope everyone here makes you feel better too. Assholes like to make other people feel bad. You're going through a tough time and he should care about you, not criticize you and put you down. You're right just don't think about that asshole :)

[Asker]

It's especially messed up how he caused me to have uti. I was expecting the opposite on here lol but im really glad there's good people here. Thanks for making me feel better :')

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome and there are some good people left on here, lol You're welcome and I'm here if you need a friend so don't worry. Yes it's messed up what happened but try not to worry, not everyone is an asshole :)

[Asker]

Thanks! More than most likely I will need a talk to keep my head up :) I also forgot to mention that several months ago he told me that this happened to his previous ex years ago where she was taking antibiotics for her acne and he got mad at her and told her to stop similar situation and he made her get 2 different birth control methods. His 1st ex she almost got pregnant not sure what exactly happened I think she forgot her pill and she started to say "well what if the baby looks like you and we can name it after you". And because of that he thinks I'm gonna do the same

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe the ex didn't know who the father would be so the guy could be on "The Jerry Springer Show" that's why the baby might look like him or it might look like the pizza delivery guy, lol

[Asker]

Lol yeah 😂.. the crazy part was that with his first ex when she was possibly pregnant he punched a window and broke the glass causing him to get big cut and needing stitches

[Opinion Owner]

That guy sounds like some crazy loser, forget about him.

[Asker]

Yeah he is crazy honestly and a loser. Last night he was in his room laughing while watching a video. Meanwhike I was crying alone in the dark in my room

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry, why don't you just dump him?

[Asker]

I'm afraid of him because he's so crazy and he uses things against me where he knows I need him. It sucks so much because he knows I have no one else to go to. I'm scared of him

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry to hear that. Can you find some family to move in with?

[Asker]

Unfortunately the only one is my moms house but I moved out because she was really controlling and didn't let me live my life. Now I'm feeling miserable like I can't take it anymore. I can never be happy and if I am its just a short amount of time. I just want to be bundled in a corner of my room and cry in a ball

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry, try to find a place online for abused women, sometimes they have places you can go to for that in your area.

[Asker]

Oh I didn't know that I will look. I'm currently looking for a room to rent. He left a note on my door and the other roommate door that rent is $50 more. I just find it coincidence he raised it today. He told me about 3 weeks ago he was thinking of raising price but wasn't going to do so soon

[Opinion Owner]

They have places like that for abused women so look online and get away from that before something bad happens. Good luck