How bad does it make me for hooking up with a guy I just met after only 5 days of finding out I was being cheated on? Am I hitting the rock bottom?

[Anonymous]

I knew something was up, I found out he was cheating and asked for a divorce, he tells me I'm nothing, and he is the one ending it, I was so devastated I went to stay at a hotel, 4 days, no food, no sleep, 2-4 packs of cigarettes everyday.

The hotel host was the only one who spoke English and he is also a nice guy, so I chatted with him a bit 2-3 times, he invites me out, I was so hesitant, but I was literally dying and it was my birthday, I didn't tell him, and I said to myself that it would be just a casual evening, maybe I could feel better, we went out, he was a gentleman, he just treated me so fine, we grapped a bite, and then went to a nice bar, I told him I don't drink, he said I could try if I want, and I was willing, like I wanted anything to numb my pain, He picks raki - which is the Turkish equivalent to Vodka 44% alcohol, he split a 350 mls between us, I didn't know my limits, I was feeling warm and my sight was a little bit fuzzy, but I didn't know that when I stand up, it will fucking hit, he grabs me to dance, I tried to say no, but he picked me up and I didn't know I was wasted until that moment, I was dizzy he grabs my waist and hugs me close, he wasn't trying to do anything I didn't want, it got late, we had to go, so, I couldn't walk that he literally was holding my waist the whole time, and that emotional turbine comes out of nowhere, I cried and laughed and he was just trying to calm me down, I told him to kiss me and he didn't let me complete the word, he made out with me hard in the middle of the road, he stopped a taxi and I literally slept in his arms for the whole ride, he took me to the room and asked if he could stay, I was so numb to ever mind , It was as far as giving him a blowjob, it was just me so desperate for feel anything, I woke up with a headache and feeling that I'm a shitty person just like my future ex-husband, I hate myself for it and I can't get around how I went so far, do I need therapy? or am I just hitting rock bottom?

[Truthatanycost]

You need to learn better coping strategies that are not to the detriment of your soul, self esteem, mental and / or sexual health. Look to God and find His wisdom. Keep an open mind. Your current way of being did not work, it's time for a different way. There is no point being hard on yourself, you are only human. Repent, learn, grow and move on. Often society teaches women (and men) to seek false empowerment through sexual acts, and also to deal with betrayal by doing similar acts. Those who wish to rule do not want you to ascend. They smile when you fall for what they have promoted. It's time to look deeper.

Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

Galatians 5:17
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

[Asker]

Thanks for the wise words, I hate it that it felt I was like him, I’ve never been with anyone else, I’ve never been drunk, it hurts in a very silent and ravenous way, Like I’m not Ok, but I don’t know what it is like to be ok no more, I can never get back a sound heart, or a clear mind, a lot of things happened, and I just can’t undo being through them, but I’m afraid I don’t recognize myself no more 💔

[Truthatanycost]

Your only option is to learn from the mistakes you've made, never repeat them, repent and teach others not to do the same. A certain amount of time is needed for the pain to lessen.

[Asker]

True

[Intothevoid666]

Ur being too hard on urself. Most people when they get cheated on want a random hookup that’s a really normal feeling. I’ve been through similar so I understand that. I think tho u should try to start crawling out of this hole as soon as u can and try to find better coping methods and try and surround yourself with more positive and supportive people.

[Asker]

The thing is I’m in another country, I don’t speak people’s language, and I had this awful feeling of being so lonely and left behind, I’ve been with one guy for almost all of my life, I didn’t feel comfortable, but I felt like finally I could sleep and have someone around who tells me and acts like I’m wanted, I matter

[Intothevoid666]

Ur still being too hard on urself I think. Being cheated on fucking sucks. U should give it some time and try to fill the void in your life with new things I think.

[Intothevoid666]

It’s ok to have casual sex especially after being cheated on. In fact I’d say most people do go on hookups after being cheated on. Nothing wrong with it especially if it makes u feel better.

[Asker]

The thing is, that shitty person is not going anywhere, I know he is a narcasaist POS, and he’s gonna want me back just for the sake of filling up his ego, but I’m no more, that’s why I took that step into meeting someone else, I was making sure I wouldn’t take him back, but it bounces back with a shitty image of yourself, I knew it, so I didn’t want to/ and didn’t have sex, I told him straight foward when he was so into the momnet: “please stop, All I see now is him, so please don’t”. Maybe I even gave him that blowjob out of the feeling that I was an emotional abuser POS myself. It wrapps around that I’m a shitty unstable person, no matter how I think of it.

[Intothevoid666]

I can basically guarantee I’m far more unstable than u and I’ve had much more casual sex than u. I don’t judge myself for it. It’s just who I am. And I still think I’ll be able to find someone who accepts me as I am. Ur husband cheated on u, what r u supposed to do? Not look for other people. U did the reasonable thing I think. Why do u think ur an emotional abuser pos?

[Asker]

Because I wanted to hookup for my own feeling of existance, for feeling wanted not because I liked the guy, he had a clue of what I’m going through, and how attracted he was to me, made me feel good honestly, It was more than the wound of cheating, but how my ex treated me within that time, how he doesn’t view it and said it, that he didn’t do anything to me! And just almost kicking me out of the house, telling me I’m nothing and he is the one ending it with me, and I’m the one who got cheated on, I just couldn’t handle the pain, I needed the feeling of being wanted, I’m not justifying, and I didn’t know what to do, I was about to cancel in the last minute, but I never thought I could go so far, you know what I mean?

[Intothevoid666]

I think u need to stop looking at it as a right versus wrong thing. Casual sex isn’t morally wrong or right. Just different people like different things. Also you married ur first partner and we’re married a fairly long time it sounds like that’s doing waaay better than most people today.

[Anonymous]

I have an online friend, and heard her horrible story. All women have an inner slut, but they need someone else to unlock the cage. I unlocked her cage and she was so grateful for that. She said she had no family members or friends she could talk to about her problem, so I took on that roll. You are only bad if you think you are.

[chrissykerdock]

think of it as experience so you gave him blowjobs i've done that when i was drunk too and much more than one... i even rimmed a guy when i was drunk... to be honest i enjoyed it i loved being on my knees for him all afternoon and part of the night... and just tasting his cum again and again... you need to have these experiences.

[DonkeyDan]

Soind like a relatively normal reaction from someone who's just been cheated on, being divorce and hurting.

[Asker]

Your comment made me feel a little bit better tbh. Thank you.

[crossdressingrihno]

He broke up with you
Theirs no relationship so you didn't cheat
He was probably done with your relationship long before you even knew

Your just depressed
Depression will almost always make you think your the bad guy even if their is no logical reason to think so

You were vulnerable and what you did was understandable
Just get some therapy and start dating when you start to get better

[Asker]

You are so true, thank you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Bad. Adultery

[Iron_Man]

That’s very bad to do that another body count on your record

[Asker]

And to make it even worse, I didn’t do sex because I was scared the next day or following day, I would feel more like shit, or more abused.

[Iron_Man]

Leave that trash guy

[Asker]

You bet I will

[Iron_Man]

Good

[Wise4myage]

He's a rebound and that's very normal.

[boobliker]

no just needed someone to be with...

[Asker]

Or, I didn’t want to sit with myself, it beats me up to

[Pudsmucker]

I would call it bounce back sex.

[Asker]

Technically, We haven’t had sex, but also, you’re right.

[MarkyMark77]

@Asker wait so it was just u giving him a bj and no sex?

[Asker]

Yea, done it for 3 consequative nights, no sex

[MarkyMark77]

@Asker just curious why haven't u had sex yet?

[Pudsmucker]

There must be reciprocation. No one-sidedest

[Asker]

I did’t have sex with that guy, it was as far as the blowjob and just getting naked and sleeping together till the morning, did it 3 times with him, and checked out moved to a place of my own, and honestly I couldn’t get myself to feel ok with it, so I asked him for a distance untill I know what I’m doing. Sorry for the late reply I don’t get on GaG very often as I’m busy with my problems.