Should I be concerned? Pls give honest opinion/advice based on the details I’ve provided below?

[Anonymous]

He follows lots of women on Instagram. Even if they don’t follow back, he continues to follow them. Some of the women are like strippers, onlyfans girls, etc. i also found his secret twitter where he likes nothing but p0rn and girls having s3x/m@sterbating.

One time i asked to simply use his phone and he got all defensive about it as if there were something to hide.

We’re kinda long distance (like 2/3 hours apart) but try to see each other on our off days and contact each other everyday. He has his own place so who knows what he’s doing when im not present. He takes me on dates & buys me flowers every once in a while (buys flowers when he makes me mad) and we went to Cali for his birthday last month but does that even mean anything?

He doesn’t post me, i’ve posted him a lot, even posted pics we took together during his bday trip since we spent lots of time together. I post a lot of pictures of us together on my ig story and he’s only posted me twice on his (once without my face showing while I was cooking in his kitchen and the caption said “feed me” and the other time with my face showing but with me, him and his brother but not just the 2 of us). When I ask why he basically says that its “just social media” and its not that serious and that he’s a “private” person but he posts literally his day to day on his ig story but not me. He’s very active on Instagram, always following girls and liking their pics but never shows me off and i feel like no one knows i exist or that he has a girlfriend. Should i be concerned?

[Anonymous]

It's really hard to say as this could "mean" something, or it may not at all as this is simply how a lot of guys are. Example social media follows, "it's just social media" is how we think of it. It's nothing. "Means" nothing to us. Often we'll follow celebs, or attractive women because we're visual and like to see their posts, but beyond that means nothing. I can pretty much guarantee he's never talked to any of them even. And being "private", another thing many of us are. It's a very common "issue" between many couples as women like to post their private lives on social media (pics etc), we are the complete opposite and want NONE of that on there. Nobody's business plan and simple (how we feel). We don't feel the need to "broadcast" our personal lives. You say he posts other things, but what kind of things (how personal?)? And there could be other reasons, such as if his family/friends don't know about you, he may not want them to yet? Or have to "explain" or talk about you. Not because he doesn't like you "enough" necessarily, it's just we guys are different that way. Women love to talk to their friends etc about their relationship, we often don't (and again, not personal probably, just the way we are). Now on the flip side, it could be intentional, for whatever reason (s), but I wouldn't assume this as the other is more likely, or very common with us.

But it sounds like having a talk with him would be good regardless. Make sure you on the same page as far as your relationship goes, and where you both see/want it to go. Don't be scared, because if you're not, it's best to find this out NOW right? And the distance between you is also something to really consider. If your relationship progresses, you're going to naturally want to see each other more and more often. Is that possible? I speak from my own experience as this was an issue once for me, and it wasn't the only reason the relationship didn't last, but was one of the issues for sure!

[DavidRaul]

From what i interpreted, he might have a high libido and must have a lot of kinks and is uncomfortable talking with you. But i wouldn't trust a man who follows a lot of girls on Instagram. Thats actually a red flag. Looks like he isn't serious about you

[LazerBean]

I didn't even have to read the whole think, instant dump after the first 3 sentences.

[spartan55]

Yes, you should be concerned that you think stupid Instagram holds so much importance.

[Kreneman]

Based on your story, your partner have a serious lust issue and it's clear that you both are not on the same page plus it very concerning that you both live over 2hrs apart because you don't know what he is up to. You need to have serious talk with him about this relationship before it gets worse.

[Gaurav2]

Darling you know the answer right?

[1step]

He likes watching porn if u don't you can get mad he doesn't like his phone being checked most probably bcoz of porn, fetish and other stuff he doesn't post you bcoz he will loose thirsty followers and try to get close to him so that he doesn't feel insecure when you check his phone if he still doesn't let you see there is good chance he is cheating but still in the end you have to decide whether he is insecure or being overly private