Sexual Relationships
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What's wrong if a widowed man wants to have sex? Does a widow man not have physical needs?

One of my college friend lost his wife who happened to be my best friend.
It's been a year she died.
I often visit him to know about his well being.
Last month i went to meet him.
His parents went at some relatives place.
It was his sister and me at his home.
At night i thought to speak to him about how he's doing &all.
I saw him jerking off. He saw me& with embarrassment he stopped.
We sat & he talked about how hard life was after my bestie died. He apologized for what I saw.

I asked him if he is lonely and wants to embrace woman body. He denied but I removed my top to let him see my naked breasts.
I offered him to fuck me as if he does do it somewhere else it might cause him problem morally. I offered him to forget all his pain for that night & embrace my body.
He fucked me wildly like he's been hungry for years and years.
After that we have been fucking almost daily twice.
Few days back we were caught by his parents and his mother kept cursing me that I am spoiling him & his image will tarnish if someone knows he is fucking a woman after his wife's death

Can a man not have needs?
Does he need to have sex less life after his beloved death
0 8

Superb Opinion

  • A widowed man certainly has sexual needs. Our belief is that a man and woman are married till death takes one of them, then they are no longer married. There is a time fo grief after the spouse dies, but eventually life must go on. So having sex after losing a spouse is normal.
    You made it sound like you had sex with him only because you wanted to make him feel good. It is important that you have sex with someone because YOU want to have sex with them.
    I presume that sexual relationships are looked at differently in India. But in western society, people would not find anything wrong with your sexual relationship with him. Obviously he was in need of sexual enjoyment, and you were kind to give him that. But you are also enjoying it. Good for you! Parents will often have negative thoughts about this.
    Besides being a good friend to him, you are also very beautiful. You can be sure that you are making him very happy! Let the parents see that you care for him and are making him happy. Hopefully they will be happy for the two of you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • First, I recommend counseling because it is very hard when you lose a spouse and he needs that, so he can see where stands with his love life. Since you both have had sexual experiences, I would pause that right now because having sex with him can lead him on (which is the same for you). You need to find out on how he feels about you the same way on how you feel about him to see if you both can have a relationship. I can tell you care about him and there's nothing wrong if you both moves forward with each other.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No one says a widowed man does not have sexual needs.
    But what kind of relationship are you and him having? Friends with benefits or lovers?
    If he moves on and finds another woman he loves and marries her, no one would be pointing any fingers.
    But what you both are doing is not love, it's just plain sex. And that's just pathetic. If what you and him are doing is so right and justifiable, then why didn't you and him let everyone else know about your relationship, instead of sneaking around?

    I think an opinion holder was right; all along back then, you already had the hots for him. You envied your friend and you always desired him. Now that your friend is no longer in the picture, it's time to reveal your true colors. So don't pretend you are a messiah, you are just a selfish opportunist. At least prostitutes are better than you, they at least get paid for their services and they know their boundaries.

    I just feel sorry for your friend who passed away. You were no friend.

  • Nothing, I would prefer it if he would find happiness with someone else if he wants to. I just don't want to be forgotten.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 37

  • I see no moral dilemma. He's unmarried. People are married until death do them part.
    But life goes on and people are supposed to move on. And you are also single. What's the problem?

    You are both benefiting.

    Maybe his parents (who obviously have traditional values) don't believe in sex outside of marriage. And they are afraid that reputations will be harmed if the neighbors or villagers find out.

    But you know what. Times change and think you two should keep doing what you're doing. It's good for the two of you, it does no harm, and fuck the busybodies and gossipers.

  • His wife died, ... not HIS libido!
    He is in NO WAY dishonoring HER memory!

    If she genuinely LOVED him, she'd want him to be happy
    and bless you for providing him physical solace now that she is no longer able. <3 :)

  • You're a really great friend to him to offer him sex. I think he wanted a new girl but it's not really easy for guys to get a girlfriend after high school or university. So, I think you offering him it was what he needed. People have sexual needs and it's bad to repress it because it hurts the mind and quality of life.

  • Like I have always said since day one you are a beautiful person in so many ways. There us more than one way to answer this question.
    First of all you have to be honest with yourself.
    And that's the reason why I answered it the way I did
    Other people might look at it a different way
    And for those people I hope they look at with the last question I just answered the one before this
    I would call you friend any day

  • He is no longer married and of course he needs/wants sex. Just make sure you use birth control every time.

  • Even a widower has urges. Just because he is ready to get physical with another woman even if it's not to get emotional with another woman.

    You might be the outlet for him to release tensions but do you want more than his release and are you getting what you want out of this.

  • His mother's statement is ridiculous. Ignore her and do what you want. You are both adults.

  • Sex itself has no ethical position, the circumstances surrounding it do. So long as you aren’t married to someone else I don’t see a problem here. You are correct everyone has sexual needs. Is he supposed to go the rest of his life alone and miserable? You obviously care a lot about him.

  • I mean I would imagine that she was just more shocked by the idea of him having another woman (especially the friend of his deceased wife) when she was thinking that he was still morning the lose of his wife. But good on you for getting yourself some!

  • Of course he needs sex, and you were good to help him, although I think you took it much farther than he expected.

  • I think there's nothing wrong in that. he's just single and totally normal if he wants to have sex. The past is past

  • Nothing wrong at all with that

  • I am definitely know one to judge but you are soooo wrong for this, to fuck your best friend’s husband…yes he has needs but you shouldn’t have thrown yourself to him…he should’ve looked elsewhere smh

    • She's dead...

    • @Jamie05rhs yeah and that was her dead best friend, im not saying is bad for the man to fuck but not the best friend like come on

    • @Jamie05rhs i know i would not want my husband fucking my best friend especially if she offered herself, by all means go fuck a prostitute if you will but not the friend

    • Show All

  • Great story thanks for sharing 🙂.

  • As altruistic as you sound, are you sure you didn't just offer yourself because you've had the hots for him too for a while? You can be honest because it's not like anyone here knows who you are.

    • Who am I

    • @litty What if she did? There's nothing wrong with that. She never messed with him while his wife was alive. She was very respectful.

    • @mansipatil No idea. For that reason, you can give us more details what made this event come to be. How long have you liked him before you became a thing together?

  • You're a very kind person. Thank you for being so generous and loving to your friend. You're an angel.
    You guys should make it official, though. That way your relationship will be proper and accepted in the eyes of society.

    • Would those who downvoted care to explain their votes?

  • Everyone has need of sex. It's like hunger you can't ignore. What you have done for him is good but by his mom view is bad beacuse you know you are living in India where people know every thing about desire and need. Everyone doing or fullfill their desire secretly because these thing can't be done in open beacuse of mentality they don't even talk about it so how can you imagine that what have you done is acceptable. But yeah you have done nothing wrong at least for him. Everyone should fullfill their desire with consent.

  • Wow wtf is wrong with his mom? Does she hate her son or something? But you sound like an amazing human being to do that for your friend ❤️

  • This dude needs to find his own place if he is going to do that

  • You did a good thing for that man, it's not right for someone to live alone after their lover is lost to non-existence.

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