Is there a way to tell a guy I want sex without sounding too desperate?

[Kitten2Kitten]

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Is there a way to tell a GIRL I want sex without sounding too desperate? 🤔🤔🤔
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It's harder to ask the question than to be asked.

Don't worry. I will make it my best effort to help you.

I have an extreme fear of being rejected, so I can imagine what you feel right now.



Here are the steps I would take:

PRIORITIES:
* Gain a deep trust with your partner
* Gain respect for each other

THE MESSAGE:
* Ask or text your partner, "I am looking for ways our relationship could grow. I am open to discuss any topic, even sex. I will not pressure you to discuss any topic."
* For the above, be careful to show you are looking for a stronger relationship. Mention sex, but don't underline it. Give them the choice
* It is similar to interviewing for a job -- you don't tell the boss that you are here for the money.
* It might be a good idea to appear more human in your message. So before sending, add something like, "I'm sorry if this comes out as bold or ambitious. I just want to make sure I'm not leaving you out on my thoughts and feelings for you."
* It's also a good idea to make sure you aren't in a requesting tone. Although, it can be difficult to do that.
* Don't tell them to be secretive. Instead, tell them what YOU will do, "Hey. Just wanted to let you know, if you want to talk about our relationship, I will gladly be as polite and careful as I possibly can."

After all your hard work, your partner will see that you have constructed your message with care and they will appreciate that you are willing to work hard to communicate your intentions, whether or not they decide sex is an option.



The full message:

Hey. Just wanted to let you know, if you want to talk about our relationship, I will gladly be as polite and careful as I possibly can. I'm sorry if this comes out as bold or ambitious. I just want to make sure I'm not leaving you out on my thoughts and feelings for you. I am looking for ways our relationship could grow. I am open to discuss any topic, even sex. I will not pressure you to discuss any topic. Thank you for understanding. I love you, even if the ❤ is still 💙.

~ Your name



Feel free to modify or copy, lol.

[ohshee]

Speak from your heart it's not that you're being desperate and nobody should ever look at it like that you're being honest is what you're being and that is the best way to be there has to be rules in no matter what you do in life just because you want something if he looks at you as being desperate you don't want to be with him because then he's going to use that against you you need to just be honest straight up and tell him why you want to have it and if he doesn't want to it's not that big of a deal move on because there will be coming else it will be a reason why you didn't have it but I'm sure the guy will respect you hopefully and understand where you're coming from now for me that is one of the most beautiful things in the world I knew you and you're going to do it to me I would respect you five billion times more I would like you five billion times more and deeper just because you took the initiative to say hey can I talk to you about something I think that is so beautiful and I wish more people were like you you have just made me grow quite a bit and I appreciate you for this question

[Aerissa_Jade]

Depends are you friends, in a relationship or just some random guy you've never talked to?

If your friends, you can joke about things... like hey lets go for a ride up the canyon (on a hot day) when up there... walk over and go play by the river or lake, whatever... get in a little, start to get wet and then fall in... opps all wet. Better take my cloths off and throw them out so they can start drying... in the meantime I'll stay here. He might do the same.

Then I can pretend I don't know how to swim. Hey can you help me learn to float on my back? and keep slipping and falling into him.

That could work if your in a relationship or really good friends and yeah... I've used that method before.

If you just want sex with someone you don't know, not really a good way to do that.

[nice-girl]

Tell him to come in your apartment and fix your computer or something like this. Even if he doesn’t know anything about computers ask him to help you carry your bags.
Offer him something to drink or eat as courtesy. Leave him there and go take a bath. Come back completely relaxed. Move slowly.

[Bricealan]

Interesting question, and I had an example of that about two years ago. I worked with a girl, several years my junior, in a state office, and one evening after work we went out to dinner, as "friends". We had never talked about sex or sex partners et cetera.
Before getting out of the car, she said to me, "You know, I haven't had sex in 10 years!

(No sure her age, but younger than I, 35?) She was not someone I would want to have
sex with, although pretty, she was a big girl, and not my physical type. I did not know how to respond.

Right after that she said: "Why is it, when a guy is hitting the exact right spot, he stops?
At that point, I was really at odds as to what to say, as I did not want to start something I did not want to finish, no COULD finish at that point. Had I DONE anything, I did not want any kind of DRAMA in my office with her as she was not exactly a really emotionally stable girl at that point in her life

Based on YOUR question, THIS girl wanted to have sex, but did not really know how to approach me or any other guy.
I guess to answer YOUR question, you have to be more discreet about the time and place you make your intentions known to the guy, and maybe not say how long since your last sexual episode. Her comment about 'hitting the right spot" was a good lead in and might be a way to make your interest/desires known to YOUR friend of interest.
Hope that is some help.

[Anonymous]

How you approach it depends on what you mean. Are you in a romantic context and want to get closer? Or do you socially gel and want to have casual sex?


In a romantic context I’ve found it can progress more naturally, holding hands turns to hugging, resting heads against each other, the rest follows pretty smoothly.


If you just want casual sex? Once you trust the person and think they’re a safe and responsible person, ask them. You can start off by saying what you like about them or that you enjoy hanging out with them, then be direct and let them know you’d like to have sex and ask if that’s something they’d be comfortable with. Someone recently approached me like this, liking me as a person but not romantically, they apologised if it was too forward but then asked if I’d be into it. It worked :)


Another scenario is you don’t know the person at all, that has it’s own risks. I think it’s good to approach it like a normal conversation, you introduce yourself, general pleasantries, then be direct and let them know you’re interested, and asking if they’d like to sleep with you. Some people prefer other words, “would you like to have ‘fun’ with me?”, but the further away you get from the word sex or flirtatious language, you risk being to vague.


Good Luck ☺️

[TheorionMage]

There is NO way for an attractive female to simultaneously appear BOTH 'noble' and randy!
If you find him arousing, YOUR body will innately begin releasing pheromones that HIS will find 'inspirational'. Remember to control YOUR body's fertility!

"Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best.
At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires."
-Intermissions, Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love" by Robert Heinlein

[MCheetah]

Modern women wanting... Sex? That's unimpossible! Next you're going to tell me you're heterosexual and not actually sexually attracted to women, too! What is this, 1999? Before the world turned to sh*t and everyone became gay or feminist?

Assuming you're a cavewoman frozen in ice and just recently dug up and actually ARE both straight and interested in sex (both have long since been extinct in 'Current Year'), then I suggest just lightly touching him. The more touchy-feely a woman is, the more of a sign it is that she wants a guy and is into him.

Man, I miss hetero women. They used to be awesome.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Do you mean just a casual guy or your boyfriend?

I would just sit on the lap of my boyfriend and start kissing him, or if I am at work, I’d message him to come cause I want his d*ck.

I don’t know about a casual guy, have never thought of this.

[integrale77]

Just go up to him say "you doing anything this weekend" if he says no then say "cool if you want I'm up to have some fun"
If it's clear your attention has given him a boner just say "you want to do me😉"


Hint you can't be looking too desperate to a guy when you put an offer of sex on the table!

[spartan55]

You girls seem to have no clue what coming off as desperate to guys really is...
Try this rule of thumb: when you think we will perceive you as desperate there is a 90 % chance we WILL NOT. Trust me.
No guy on this planet will think you are desperate for wanting sex. I mean, what does that make guys then? It's ridiculous, and a needless source of anxiety for girls.

[glennos89]

Just tell him straight up and 90% of men will probably agree without giving it a second thought.

In no circumstances they will think you are desperate anyway 🤷🏼‍♂️

We lack the brain capacity to think that in such moments because the blood will be send downstair instead of to the brains 😂😂😂😂😂

[Jay3344]

Sure, just casually talk about, something adjacent to it. Like “ I’m feeling tense…I need a massage…”. Or “ you know I had a rough day, could you snuggle with me until I feel better…”. Anything along those lines will usually lead to sex if you help it along. Be creative.

[kellytheman]

Be a little flirty but keep it playful and tasteful. Maybe give him a seductive look or bite your lip when you look him up and down. If you really him take his hands and make him touch you in certain places. Don't just go up to the guy and tell him I want you to sex with you.

[summiter]

Sure, Just tell how much you like/love him and hanging with him and that you would like to talk things to the next level. Is he a virgin who might want to take it slower?
Have a bunch of condoms around just in case!

[19LEGION74]

Yep, easy tell him you wanna smash, that's it don't say hey I was wondering noo, come over bring and wear whatever it won't matter walk in the door and smash right there take control he will love it and think he did something

[TheLoneTerran]

Well, when someone asked me they simply asked if I'd ever considered a friends with benefits situation, she didn't come across as desperate or clingy. It was simply a question. Whatever way you choose to ask, good luck!!

[pepperhicks]

I doubt most guys will think badly of you for wanting sex. You don't really have to even "tell" him, just get alone in the right place and make a move. He will get the picture. If he does not respond, there are many other fish in the sea.

[amandat94132]

Wanting sex and being desperate are two different things and I think savvy men know that , they don't have double standards

I would avoid men that think a woman wanting sex is a sign of desperation,
wanting sex is just wanting sex

Love junkies are desperate , wanting sex is the opposite,
wanting sex is natural and healthy

[Kkstarzz96]

it's only desperate if he hasn't shown any sign he's interested. you wouldn't even have to ask in a usual scenario. you usually can leave one bait but if he doesn't continue to persist, he most likely doesn't care if it happens or it doesn't, which is a turn off for me personally.

[jshm2]

Depends how well you know them and how close you are.

Telling a stranger "will you come to bed with me?" isn't always going to get the right reaction as telling it to your husband or lover.

[Anonymous]

Take a shower after walk around naked go on couch and read a Book 📕
When he asks Why Your being like that.
Tell him it’s your house and you get to do what you want. Confuse him Fuck with him then be like I’m just Fucking with you No need to be so serious. Then tell him to take his Dick out.

[EmbraceThePain]

There’s a ton of different verbal options it’s nearly impossible to list them all. Aside from this, naturally you can give clues or hints that would indicate that you’re sexually attracted to a man.

[UmarCGA]

Wtf is wrong with girl... Look it the guys respect you sound all desprate but if he is judgmental dont even have any relation with him... Wtf these guys dont deserve any respect... And they cobstantly show how they are on women side and treat other guys as if they are bad...

Other than that... Sounding desprate would make thing more sexy rather than awkward... These should not be any shame showing a desire specially now a days