Is there a way to tell a guy I want sex without sounding too desperate?

[Anonymous]

[Kitten2Kitten]

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Is there a way to tell a GIRL I want sex without sounding too desperate? 🤔🤔🤔
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It's harder to ask the question than to be asked.

Don't worry. I will make it my best effort to help you.

I have an extreme fear of being rejected, so I can imagine what you feel right now.



Here are the steps I would take:

PRIORITIES:
* Gain a deep trust with your partner
* Gain respect for each other

THE MESSAGE:
* Ask or text your partner, "I am looking for ways our relationship could grow. I am open to discuss any topic, even sex. I will not pressure you to discuss any topic."
* For the above, be careful to show you are looking for a stronger relationship. Mention sex, but don't underline it. Give them the choice
* It is similar to interviewing for a job -- you don't tell the boss that you are here for the money.
* It might be a good idea to appear more human in your message. So before sending, add something like, "I'm sorry if this comes out as bold or ambitious. I just want to make sure I'm not leaving you out on my thoughts and feelings for you."
* It's also a good idea to make sure you aren't in a requesting tone. Although, it can be difficult to do that.
* Don't tell them to be secretive. Instead, tell them what YOU will do, "Hey. Just wanted to let you know, if you want to talk about our relationship, I will gladly be as polite and careful as I possibly can."

After all your hard work, your partner will see that you have constructed your message with care and they will appreciate that you are willing to work hard to communicate your intentions, whether or not they decide sex is an option.



The full message:

Hey. Just wanted to let you know, if you want to talk about our relationship, I will gladly be as polite and careful as I possibly can. I'm sorry if this comes out as bold or ambitious. I just want to make sure I'm not leaving you out on my thoughts and feelings for you. I am looking for ways our relationship could grow. I am open to discuss any topic, even sex. I will not pressure you to discuss any topic. Thank you for understanding. I love you, even if the ❤ is still 💙.

~ Your name



Feel free to modify or copy, lol.

[ohshee]

Speak from your heart it's not that you're being desperate and nobody should ever look at it like that you're being honest is what you're being and that is the best way to be there has to be rules in no matter what you do in life just because you want something if he looks at you as being desperate you don't want to be with him because then he's going to use that against you you need to just be honest straight up and tell him why you want to have it and if he doesn't want to it's not that big of a deal move on because there will be coming else it will be a reason why you didn't have it but I'm sure the guy will respect you hopefully and understand where you're coming from now for me that is one of the most beautiful things in the world I knew you and you're going to do it to me I would respect you five billion times more I would like you five billion times more and deeper just because you took the initiative to say hey can I talk to you about something I think that is so beautiful and I wish more people were like you you have just made me grow quite a bit and I appreciate you for this question

[Aerissa_Jade]

Depends are you friends, in a relationship or just some random guy you've never talked to?

If your friends, you can joke about things... like hey lets go for a ride up the canyon (on a hot day) when up there... walk over and go play by the river or lake, whatever... get in a little, start to get wet and then fall in... opps all wet. Better take my cloths off and throw them out so they can start drying... in the meantime I'll stay here. He might do the same.

Then I can pretend I don't know how to swim. Hey can you help me learn to float on my back? and keep slipping and falling into him.

That could work if your in a relationship or really good friends and yeah... I've used that method before.

If you just want sex with someone you don't know, not really a good way to do that.

[narenyousuf22]

Why you wanna make it so complicated 🤣🤣 men are easy going with sex, even if he wants pretend like is not interested he won't pretend for more than 10mns, and in case if he is surely no. he will make it clear in the first go itself

[Aerissa_Jade]

@narenyousuf22 cause we don't wanna ruin a friendship, not all men are that way... sure 95% are but not all are.

[narenyousuf22]

And the rest of 5%clearly knows your intention even if you are not saying by words, lol

[nice-girl]

Tell him to come in your apartment and fix your computer or something like this. Even if he doesn’t know anything about computers ask him to help you carry your bags.
Offer him something to drink or eat as courtesy. Leave him there and go take a bath. Come back completely relaxed. Move slowly.

[Kkstarzz96]

it's only desperate if he hasn't shown any sign he's interested. you wouldn't even have to ask in a usual scenario. you usually can leave one bait but if he doesn't continue to persist, he most likely doesn't care if it happens or it doesn't, which is a turn off for me personally.

[MarkyMark77]

@kkstarzz96 how do you bait? example? sorry im just a dumb guy lol

[Guy13]

NO, there is not‼️

[katiesmuff]

Dress like a sweet school girl and don't let him see your penis till after he is in your butt! Best way I know for a Troll to get it done!!!

[ChooChooHaha]

Generally yeah. Depends on the situation and how you'd exactly go about it.

[TheorionMage]

There is NO way for an attractive female to simultaneously appear BOTH 'noble' and randy!
If you find him arousing, YOUR body will innately begin releasing pheromones that HIS will find 'inspirational'. Remember to control YOUR body's fertility!

"Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best.
At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires."
-Intermissions, Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love" by Robert Heinlein

[MCheetah]

Modern women wanting... Sex? That's unimpossible!

Next you're going to tell me you're heterosexual and not actually sexually attracted to women, too! What is this, 1999? Before the world turned to sh*t and everyone became gay or feminist?

Assuming you're a cavewoman frozen in ice and just recently dug up and actually ARE both straight and interested in sex (both have long since been extinct in 'Current Year'), then I suggest just lightly touching him. The more touchy-feely a woman is, the more of a sign it is that she wants a guy and is into him.

Man, I miss hetero women. They used to be awesome.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Do you mean just a casual guy or your boyfriend?

I would just sit on the lap of my boyfriend and start kissing him, or if I am at work, I’d message him to come cause I want his d*ck.

I don’t know about a casual guy, have never thought of this.

[lilyanony1]

I want sex.

[Olderguy61]

Me too

[Red_Arrow]

Look at him a lot and show him a lot of attention. He will show interest in you and You show him you like the attention. He will make it known he wants sex with you and you can then have sex without seeming desparate at all!

[Lowiu]

If you realy want it badly just straight up ask most men want it too

[summiter]

Sure, Just tell how much you like/love him and hanging with him and that you would like to talk things to the next level. Is he a virgin who might want to take it slower?
Have a bunch of condoms around just in case!

[dustybiker]

Just don’t bend over and start swinging it around. That’s desperate.

[Charliefretz329]

Lol 😂 maybe it is but it’s shows clear intentions! Guys don’t always understand subtle hints

[Guy__]

I agree with Charlie. Even when you bend over and shake, it still can be unclear. I don't think the method you tell us changes much. You either want it or not, disparate means you want it, not desperate means you don't want it.

[Johnagain]

@Charliefretz329 You got that right! We're like... dudes? Not female. We don't think the same... don't play head games as much.

[dustybiker]

@charliefretz329 Oh, I agree with you. And some woman often do play head games. Was really just teasing. This asker emphasized not wanting to sound desperate.

[Charliefretz329]

Just get close to the guy, look him in the eyes abs softly say, “I want you”. That’s not desperate and it’s clear

[Charliefretz329]

It’s very difficult to understand the opposite sex

[dustybiker]

@Charliefretz329 I agree. Bluntness rewards the asker with a wonderful display of facial expressions too.

[Charliefretz329]

Yes Dusty!!!

[integrale77]

Just go up to him say "you doing anything this weekend" if he says no then say "cool if you want I'm up to have some fun"
If it's clear your attention has given him a boner just say "you want to do me😉"


Hint you can't be looking too desperate to a guy when you put an offer of sex on the table!

[spartan55]

You girls seem to have no clue what coming off as desperate to guys really is...
Try this rule of thumb: when you think we will perceive you as desperate there is a 90 % chance we WILL NOT. Trust me.
No guy on this planet will think you are desperate for wanting sex. I mean, what does that make guys then? It's ridiculous, and a needless source of anxiety for girls.

[Berethor]

If you marry him and tell him to do his duty, then you would not sound desperate.

[amandat94132]

Wanting sex and being desperate are two different things and I think savvy men know that , they don't have double standards

I would avoid men that think a woman wanting sex is a sign of desperation,
wanting sex is just wanting sex

Love junkies are desperate , wanting sex is the opposite,
wanting sex is natural and healthy

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yes.. Don't say anything, just grab him in the biscuits.

At least you won't SOUND desperate anyway :D

[EmbraceThePain]

There’s a ton of different verbal options it’s nearly impossible to list them all. Aside from this, naturally you can give clues or hints that would indicate that you’re sexually attracted to a man.

[Whatever2929292]

Find something better to do. Why don't you go on some fun date or something? You sound lame

[erin_ireland]

You can mention Netflix and chill. He'll figure:)