Having doubts about my sexuality and trying to figure myself out. How did you know?

[Anonymous]

Even though I'm still unsure yet how i feel.. I think I chose right for now in coming out to my parents as bisexual.
Luckily they are fine with it as long as I'm happy and safe.. but I'm still confused and trying to figure myself out.

I am still filled with doubts and questions
pansexual, bisexual, gay?
Did you just know?
Knew deep down but repressed?
Was it something you had to experiment with?
Did you have friends that just knew before you told them? Or would ask you?

I always check girls out and have kissed 2 before but i never felt romantically about them which is why it was always short lived.. like a week or two of dating and that's it.. lame I know, but I've never felt the urge to date before and be intimate in a relationship.
But recently with guys I've felt I wanted to spend more time with them and get to know them more which is kinda new.. is it because I can relate better or is it something more..

Thinking back.. When girls gave me compliments I didn't really feel much about it. I just said stuff like "thanks so much"
its nice to hear those things but I've noticed that if guys say nice things to me I feel kinda warm inside and I get shy from that..
I really do like their attention and them being nice to me.

And now lately I've been fantasizing about being in a relationship with a guy.. Maybe it could be nice to be good friends first and then get closer..

So far only my parents know and it felt nice to just say the words and get it out. But I'd like to be open to my whole family and move forward with my life, feels like I can't until I figure this out

With my luck my whole family probably already suspects anyway..

[HighlyVolatile]

I just liked the girls very early on. I remember in kindergarten that we were swimming and my teacher picked me up and I buried my face in her breasts and motorboated them. I didn't have the breasts but the women did and I wanted to snuggle in them.

Then I started thinking about what was between our legs and I noticed the girls don't have anything there. I mean they have something now in retrospect but I'm talking as a 4-year-old. They got nothing but a hole. And I got this thing that seems like it was designed to go into a hole.

But my favorites were always older and they got hair down there and so I couldn't really see the hole. But I knew there was a hole somewhere down under the bush! And I got just the thing to plug it.

[HighlyVolatile]

I think I associated in my mind very early on that "beautiful=woman". Not sunset, now waterfalls, but woman -- smiling woman like with panties. Wearing skirts and there is the panties underneath -- black, blue, purple, sometimes red (I drove a little toy car in my kindergarten and always looked up when my kindergarten teacher made a tunnel for me to ride between her legs -- she usually wore these dark purple panties but sometimes white, black, purple, and every now and then -- red).

[HighlyVolatile]

She sometimes had curly pubic hair sticking out of her panties when I rode underneath her legs in my little peddle car. Dark purple panties with a stray pubic hair, inner woman's thighs, smiley face, that is the most beautiful thing I ever saw. I wanted to touch it and grab it and put my thing into it.

[HighlyVolatile]

Have you seen Amadeus? Salieri's description of how it felt like to hear Mozart was what I felt when I was a 4-year old peddling a car and looking up my teacher's skirt and seeing all the glory that was inside:
https://youtu.be/xYHJRhRym1U

[NamerOfStars]

Pretty simply; I felt what I felt, and that was that. Unambiguous heterosexuality is simpre that way, though.

Anyway, I think you're overthinking this. You are, to some degree, attracted to women. Okay. You think you're attracted to men, too- perhaps to men primarily. All right. It seems to me the logical thing to do is to go on a date with one and see how you feel (remember that you don't have to get sexual if you don't want to), and not get hung up on the terminology.

[RobT312]

Dude, stop being so hard on yourself. You should be having fun!
I have always been sexually attracted to women, that’s how I knew.
Never had desires for guys, but at the age of 30 I had a threesome
with a buddy of mine and my girlfriend and realized I liked sex with guys too.
Don’t think I’ll ever have a relationship with a guy, but at least I discovered how I feel about it.

so, my advice is go experiment and do what feels natural to you. Go date a guy , see if you like it, and things will work themselves out.

[summiter]

It is ok to be confused as it affects everyone differently. Have you had sex yet with either a girl or guy? Life is short so do what makes you happy.

[Guardian45]

I ALWAYS loved women from a small child.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's important to label yourself. Just let yourself be interested in whatever and let that interest change. But it sounds like you're "bi-curious" atm.