I had sex with him and he changed?

Anonymous

The guy im seeing has a pattern. When he meets a girl, he is very open and acts like he's interested. However, he will never text or reach out first. The girl texts and he replies. At first, he replies a lot and is always going back and forth, giving compliments and cute emojis.

However, after sex, he starts getting distant. After I invited him to my house, we spent the night together and he left early morning for his house as he had to go to university (he's a 25 year old PhD student). We also sexted and he would text me that he misses me in the middle of the night. We went on a few dates but he never stayed for more than an hour and most of the time if the date was in the evening, it always led to us going back to my house snd having sex.

He never took me to his place and I highly suspected he lied to me about where he lives.

After 2 weeks of constant texting and sex, including spending the weekend together, he became distant and now his replies are getting less and less.

He has his read receipts turned off so he has started to leave me on read. I did a little bit of snooping and found out that he has done this to many girls and he either ghosts them or if he's in the mood, then he will tell them that he's very busy with studies so he can't be in a relationship.

What does this mean? Why do this?

0 1

Superb Opinion

Emily_925 Xper 5
1 y
It sounds like he just isn't interested in a relationship. If you really really like him you could tell him that you like him and are interested so he can be clear, or if you just wanna have sex you could ask him to he friends with benefits as he will probably prefer someone like that if he doesn't want to get really close to anyone.
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  1 y
  His replies are now getting shorter so I doubt it
- Emily_925
  1 y
  Well if you think he's going to break up then you might as well just tell him how you feel, it's not like you have anything to lose. Don't do it over text though if u would bc he'll probably ghost u or something
- Asker
  1 y
  On our first date he talked about wanting a 1 week or 2 week "break" to a cottage (owned by his friend which he knew was vacant) in a coastal town. He said 3 times like "okay so about the break". This was during the holiday season. However, he had no plans to be together for New Years Eve. He also checked me out once from top to bottom and then all of a sudden hid behind a desk (his lower half was hidden behind the desk, he was wearing skinny jeans). He never talks about deep things, hardly ever shares anything about himself while asking me what is up in my life and wanting to know everything. He tried to make me jealous and I ve caught him meeting other girls at bars. I haven't had sex with him and I stop texting the moment he stopped replying to my texts. He looks really bitter with me and he got jealous and passive aggressive with me when he saw me walking around with a guy friend. He had asked me where I was going and I didn't tell him I was going to see my guy friend (whilst he told me he was going to meet someone and didn't even get back to my text when I asked him if he's free then he can let me know) After he saw me with the guy, he stopped talking to me and got really weird but then started talking again. Now I'm pretty sure he's texting and sleeping with another girl yet he tried to make me jealous by sitting and having lunch with 2 female colleagues he hardly ever talks to and whom he initially ignored before suddenly deciding to go and sit and have lunch with them. What does this guy want?

Most Helpful Guys

OlderAndWiser Editor
1 y
He's all about running up the score to feed the deficiencies in his male ego. And he gets YOU to initiate the chase ("However, he will never text or reach out first.") so that he need not feel any guilt about using you. He may perhaps be sociopathic or borderline.
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  1 y
  Sociopathic?
- OlderAndWiser
  1 y
  "The list of common traits you might see in someone who has antisocial personality disorder [sociopathy], says Dr. Coulter, include:
  
  Not understanding the difference between right and wrong.
  Not respecting the feelings and emotions of others.
  Constant lying or deception.
  Being callous.
  Difficulty recognizing emotion.
  Manipulation.
  Arrogance.
  Violating the rights of others through dishonest actions.
  Impulsiveness.
  Risk-taking.
  Difficulty appreciating the negative aspects of their behavior."
  
  health.clevelandclinic.org/.../
- Asker
  1 y
  On our first date he talked about wanting a 1 week or 2 week "break" to a cottage (owned by his friend which he knew was vacant) in a coastal town. He said 3 times like "okay so about the break". This was during the holiday season. However, he had no plans to be together for New Years Eve. He also checked me out once from top to bottom and then all of a sudden hid behind a desk (his lower half was hidden behind the desk, he was wearing skinny jeans). He never talks about deep things, hardly ever shares anything about himself while asking me what is up in my life and wanting to know everything. He tried to make me jealous and I ve caught him meeting other girls at bars. I haven't had sex with him and I stop texting the moment he stopped replying to my texts. He looks really bitter with me and he got jealous and passive aggressive with me when he saw me walking around with a guy friend. He had asked me where I was going and I didn't tell him I was going to see my guy friend (whilst he told me he was going to meet someone and didn't even get back to my text when I asked him if he's free then he can let me know) After he saw me with the guy, he stopped talking to me and got really weird but then started talking again. Now I'm pretty sure he's texting and sleeping with another girl yet he tried to make me jealous by sitting and having lunch with 2 female colleagues he hardly ever talks to and whom he initially ignored before suddenly deciding to go and sit and have lunch with them. What does this guy want?
- Show All Show Less
- OlderAndWiser
  1 y
  Why does it matter what HE wants? WHat do YOU want?
- Asker
  1 y
  Him what else
- OlderAndWiser
  1 y
  The fact that you can't fathom turning your back on the guy suggests that you have very low self-confidence.
- Asker
  1 y
  Did you read the reply?
- OlderAndWiser
  1 y
  Yes.
- Asker
  1 y
  Then that story is different from this?
TommyMountainFigure Guru
1 y
More to the point, why didn't you do the research BEFORE giving him what he wanted?
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  1 y
  He was showing lot of interest
- TommyMountainFigure
  1 y
  And that is all it takes to get you into bed?
- Asker
  1 y
  If he's showing interest and being into me then yes?
- Show All Show Less
- TommyMountainFigure
  1 y
  Ok then. that's why he changed. He got what he wanted from you and felt he didn't need to show you any respect, because you don't have any respect for yourself.
- Asker
  1 y
  And how I don't have any respect? He's after a girl who won't give him sex
- TommyMountainFigure
  1 y
  I thought you were asking why he treated you the way he did. He saw you as easy sex and nothing more, someone who has no respect for themselves. Sorry you misunderstood me.. I NEVER said you have no self respect.. only that is how HE saw it.
- Asker
  1 y
  What kind of girl will he like then?
- TommyMountainFigure
  1 y
  The word 'like' is very subjective. It doesn't sound to me like he is after a girlfriend, just sex. Hence once he has got what he wants from you, he loses interest.
- Asker
  1 y
  What about the other girl?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3

boggboss Master
1 y
Because he got what he wanted short term fun now he is bored with u
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  1 y
  But why bored? He's looking for sex right?
- boggboss
  1 y
  He gets excitement from having sex with new people once that thrill is gone he gets bored u are not the first u won't be the last
- Asker
  1 y
  What kind of girl will he like then?
- Show All Show Less
- boggboss
  1 y
  What do u mean he did like you at the time he is just not looking to settle down
- Asker
  1 y
  No I mean if he girl won't give him sex then? He's after this 1 gurl who isn't sleeping either him, won't text him after he leaves her on read and he's obsessed with her Why?
- boggboss
  1 y
  Because he wants her and she won't give in
- Asker
  1 y
  OK so shouldn't he just forget about her?
- boggboss
  1 y
  Thats upto him he can do what he wants
- Asker
  1 y
  Yes but what's so special about het? She's not giving him what he wants
- boggboss
  1 y
  Exactly she is like forbidden fruit he can get what he wants from her so he wants it more more important why do u care so much
- Asker
  1 y
  But she's a girl just like me what's the difference?
- boggboss
  1 y
  She is not just like you lol he got you and discarded you he wants her
- Asker
  1 y
  What do you mean she's not like me?
- boggboss
  1 y
  He dont want you so you are nit like her remember he fucked u and decided to move on you and her are not the same
- Asker
  1 y
  He only wants her for sex too?
- boggboss
  1 y
  Ask him that
- Asker
  1 y
  He clearly wants sex from her as he wanted a fling from her too
- Asker
  1 y
  On our first date he talked about wanting a 1 week or 2 week "break" to a cottage (owned by his friend which he knew was vacant) in a coastal town. He said 3 times like "okay so about the break". This was during the holiday season. However, he had no plans to be together for New Years Eve. He also checked me out once from top to bottom and then all of a sudden hid behind a desk (his lower half was hidden behind the desk, he was wearing skinny jeans). He never talks about deep things, hardly ever shares anything about himself while asking me what is up in my life and wanting to know everything. He tried to make me jealous and I ve caught him meeting other girls at bars. I haven't had sex with him and I stop texting the moment he stopped replying to my texts. He looks really bitter with me and he got jealous and passive aggressive with me when he saw me walking around with a guy friend. He had asked me where I was going and I didn't tell him I was going to see my guy friend (whilst he told me he was going to meet someone and didn't even get back to my text when I asked him if he's free then he can let me know) After he saw me with the guy, he stopped talking to me and got really weird but then started talking again. Now I'm pretty sure he's texting and sleeping with another girl yet he tried to make me jealous by sitting and having lunch with 2 female colleagues he hardly ever talks to and whom he initially ignored before suddenly deciding to go and sit and have lunch with them. What does this guy want?
SiberFox Xper 7
1 y
Always establish the repationship before sex.
0 0 0 0
JakeS00 Explorer
1 y
If he did it to others, the best call is to leave him.
0 0 0 0