Sexual Relationships
1 y

Was it a bad idea to cheat back?

I wanted to get back at him. I did but I couldn't progress to sex. Instead I stopped it after the other guy went down on me; oral.

The thing is I've felt like nothing has really been accomplished, I didn't enjoy the act, felt practically nothing for the other guy, I risked my reputation, it still doesn't take away the original pain of getting cheated on and I've officially become a cheater that can't claim the high grounds anymore.

I admitted to it the following day and broke up myself. He still wanted to work it out but it was too much for me. I'm single now. Yes I wanted to get even with him and feel what's it like to cheat on someone but it's like I've accomplished NOTHING. Was it a bad idea to cheat back?

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Yeah it sounds like it was. But the difference is now you know. And maybe you can eventually work things out. But you need time to heal and you need time out of a relationship. There is no getting another lover to help you after he cheated or whatever you both cheated and you are both in a lot of pain. And Now it’s over… just work on you and regain the high ground.

    • I broke up after the revenge cheating. Now I know that there is no way I can't recover from getting cheated on. It was too much for me to handle. The cheaters turns into a disgusting person in my eyes.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The best revenge is a life well lived. I will never lower myself to another persons misdeeds. In your situation, you have no idea where that mans tongue has been, his mouth, or his sexual health. You opened yourself up to disease and all kinds of things. There is no gain in lowering yourself to another, only rising above them and living a better life without them.

    This is why one should pray for their enemies rather than try to harm them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 17

  • You did what you thought was right at the time. Do not have any remorse... he cheated first. How was your sex life with him before he cheated?

    • The only regret I have is in wasting a couple months of my time with the cheater instead of dumping him right away. I also regret even getting intimate with that other guy, I hated the moment. I felt nothing for him. I didn't even find him that attractive either. I can't do the ''sex with feelings'' thing.

    • Give yourself some time to heal... there are plenty of non-cheater (decent) guys out there

  • You was making yourself as bad as he or even worse, women are likely to be called a slut.

    • That's why I couldn't proceed to sex. I was already disgusted when he went down on me (oral) and stopped it. I hated the moment. How do you guy do the whole casual sex without any feelings nor even finding the person too attractive? My ex boyfriend cheated on a ONS. He had no feelings for the girl. I tried doing the same but yuck, worst moment of my life.

  • It’s always a bad idea to cheat. Whether you initiate it, or whether you do it for revenge. It just cheapens you as an individual.

    • and I've realized nothing was accomplished - Absolute waste of time when I could've simply dumped the cheater - I'm not into sex without feelings... tried to do it but failed and stopped at just receiving oral. - I felt nothing for the other guy, I hated that moment - I risked my reputation going down - I degraded myself and my values all for nothing

  • Yeah. You just scooped to his level. You should’ve left him not be a degenerative person yourself.

    • Yeah I should've left instead of wasting a couple months of my time with a POS. Unlike me, he didn't even confess. I had to find out and confront him with the evidence to the point he couldn't deny anymore. At least I confessed the following day, I told him in his face what I did and then broke up. But yes I still feel so trashy. I hated the moment. I didn't even like the guy physically too much either. I felt nothing for the guy.

  • All u did was make yourself as shitty as he is by doing so meh guess it's a life lesson

    • it's like I have wear the label of a cheater forever. I can't claim the high grounds anymore. If I did I would be a hypocrite. I feel as if I've destroyed my image.

    • Thats why I said use it as a life lesson yes u cheated so now will u grow from it or stay who u was

  • Yes it was a bad idea considering you stopped down to his level and allowed another man to take advantage of you , being cheated on sucks but becoming a cheater doesn’t solve anything

  • Revenge is always fraught with problems... as you learned. Congratulations for stopping.

  • Yes, you were wrong to do so, should have just left him when you learned he cheated.
    You are now a cheater... be better.

    • I've lowered myself and that's my label for a very long time I guess, a cheater. I can't ever claim high moral grounds. Yeah I should've dumped him right there. What I did was a waste of worthless time. I didn't even enjoy anything. I hated the moment. I didn't even find the guy attracted either and felt no feelings.

  • You did what you thought was best at the the time. Don't overthink it and move on with your life.

  • Of course that was a bad idea. Revenge is never a good idea.

  • Yeah, revenge cheating just means you would cheat - you just need the right circumstance and apparently "being mad" is enough. That's gonna be a no from me.

    • I didn't like it at all. I didn't enjoy the moment (that's why I stopped it at just receiving oral).. I actually hated it. Intimacy with a guy without feelings seems like yuck to me. I didn't even find the guy that attractive either. Considering I had to find out about his cheating myself and he kept denying until confronted with evidence (then all of the sudden the apologies and BS), I was nice enough to tell him myself about my cheating. I told him the very next day and broke up.

    • You can try justifying what you did, but you can no longer say you never cheated on your partner. And when you did it, it was *planned*. You sought to cheat on your partner to hurt them. That in itself feels like the wrong path. I hope your future endeavors go better.

  • Yep, always is.

  • it was yeah

    • Now it's like I have to forever wear the ''cheater'' label, a label of people with low morals.

    • don't worry about labels and such, just do what your heart tell you to do

  • Waste of your time. No need to stoop to that level. Either talk about it/accept it and continue on together or drop him and move on.

  • If someone is low class, you don’t have to be the same.

    • True and now I feel as if I've just degraded myself.

    • Did you cheat back?

    • I didn't even feel too much physical attraction towards the other guy either. Meanwhile when my now ex boyfriend cheated, he done it with the girl for 2 months without having feelings. I wasn't able to go further than receiving oral. I can't do the sex without feelings thing.

    • Show All

  • Dont have any regrets it's entirely his fault he doesn't deserve you. Move forward and forget about him there's some out there who'll treat you like a princess 👸.

  • Sorry to hear that. Terrible situation.

  • Yeah you should never act on impulses of hate or revenge they are never constructive

    • True. I ended up hating the moment. I couldn't proceed to sex. Hence why I stopped at just receiving oral. I felt nothing. I didn't even find the guy that attractive either.

    • I tried to do what my ex boyfriend did... cheating without feeling anything for the person you cheat with. Nope... one of the worst moment of my life.

    • Well you were obviously with a mission, the problem is the foundation that was at the base of it was not solid in any way, I tried that too long ago and felt exactly the same

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  • what if he never cheated but you did

    • He did cheated. I had irrefutable evidence he couldn't deny.

  • Image? You may be worried about the wrong thing

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