How long is too long to go without having sex (when in a relationship)?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone, so my boyfriend and I are having some issues with our relationship and sex.

We live an hour and a half drive away from each other, he has a full-time night job, and I am in my final exams of my Masters program. I really love him and find him incredibly sexy. However, I haven't been in the mood for the last month. (haven't even masturbated or anything :-/ )

There has been a LOT happening in my life lately, like both my parents are in the hospital, for different reasons, but both very serious. Im currently taking care of the house, the pets, and my siblings, all while I am in the rush of finals. I've done three all nighters in a row, and there will be more to come in the next couple weeks. I even had a breakdown the other night from how stressed I've been with school, friends and family.

I also have been dealing with a yeast issue, exacerbated by stress, and have been dealing with that the last month. It makes sex painful and unpleasant. All of this has affected my libido horribly, to the extent that I stress about sex.

I told my boyfriend about this, and he is extremely understanding about it all. However, he is concerned with how we haven't been intimate in the past month, and seems low/less talkative lately. I am now stressed about our relationship, because I really dont want to lose him. I feel like that would break me.

Should I feel bad about this? This is my first long-term relationship, and I can't tell if a month is worth feeling guilty about.

[Reece12345]

You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. You've been going through an extremely tough / exhausting time. Having two very sick parents is terrible (I'm so sorry), not to mention all the other things in your life that your responsible for right now.

I have an autistic son who I have to take care of at the same time as my full-time job so I can totally sympathize. I'm under constant anxiety and stress and my sex life with my wife has been pretty non existent for a while.

I think everyone needs to be in a good mood to "be in the mood" and it wouldn't be possible for almost anyone with all the anxiety and stress that you're going through right now.

From the way you describe it this seems like a perfect storm that would be exhausting both physically and emotionally. No one could blame you for how feel right now, and you shouldn't blame yourself.

I hope things take a turn for the better with your parents. And I do feel that things will get better for you and that this perfect storm will blow over.

[spartan55]

The length of time isn't as important as your mindset. Are you actively trying to fix the issues you say are causing your low libido? Is sex a big part of your relationship when everything is cool?

[CharlieDMX]

There's not a standard for this. It depends on how long a couple can go on without the lack of sex affecting their relationship

[Anonymous]

2-3 days is too much.