She is a girl I know, a friend, not someone I ever dated. We had sex and after it she became clingy. I told her I didn't like her that way. She keeps asking to tell her why. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her, which way is better to reject her?
Dude... you need to talk to girls before sex to make sure you're both on the same page. This is painful to witness. You fucked this up huge man. Still, the way to go is as honest as possible (within reason).
DO NOT tell this girl that you liked her but realized during sex that you didn't have feelings for her. That'll fuck her sex-life up for the rest of her life.
Tell her you only like her as a friend. But next time, you need to do that BEFORE sex. Otherwise, it's essentially the same as "tricking" a girl into sex. She is having sex thinking it means something you know it doesn't. You owe it to someone to be up-front about that. They get to decide if they still WANT to have sex with you knowing it means nothing to you.
This is bad man. Really. You gotta do better. ESPECIALLY if she's a friend. But be honest with her now. She might indeed be mad. And... that's your fault and you gotta just suck it up and take whatever she feels like saying to you. This is shitty.
So, basically you wanted in her pants for fun and now need an out because you don’t really care for her? I’m not going to help with that. That is really sad that you used her for sex because you “thought having sex would be fun”.
What sort of person does that to someone? To me, it is someone with low/no morals. If someone uses another person for anything (including sex) that makes them a very low moral person. How would you like if some girl just used you for a dinner or night out? You’d be mad.
The problem now is that you have ruined a friendship. I don’t see how this turns out good in any sort of way. I would do the only honourable thing and leave her alone. Cut ties and chalk this friendship up to a loss, if you can even say you are a friend to her considering you used her for sex. Do you use all your friends to get what you want?
I care about her. I didn't use her, I didn't force her to sex, she could have said no. It was consensual. Maybe I didn't realise she had feelings for me. I can't just leave now because she is asking me for an explanation, and I have to tell her something?
You absolutely did use her for sex. You even say you thought it would be fun knowing full well you had no intention of taking the relationship further. Doesn’t matter if she could have said no. Not the point. She is thinking you wanted more when really you wanted in her pants and nothing else. Answer this…do you sleep with lots of your “friends”? Do your friends sleep around with their friends for “fun”?
She never told me she wanted more. She could not agree to sex or say something. She only told me that she liked me, but it could mean she liked me to have sex with.
either way you lose... nothing's worse than getting on your knees swallowing some guy's cum and get dumped... or be told they weren't good or you didn't enjoy them... your going to get it i'm pretty sure.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Do meet her. Don't be an arse.
As for what you say? If you realized after sex that would lead to a lot more questions and possibly self esteem issues. I wouldn't go that route.
Before? Maybe. It makes you look like a bit of an ass for not realizing she might have had feelings but it is easier to accept that you're the bad guy than it is that she is somehow not enough.
Are you close enough to say you value the friendship too much and realized this would risk it?
End of the day I'd say it as is. Don't be super nice. Be nice mind you. Tell her she's awesome, that it was amazing and all that. But it is better to rip a bandaid off quickly. Since what she wants is hope and leading her on isn't a good move, there isn't a super gentle way about it. Best you can do is not leaving scars really.
I though of telling her that I wasn't completely convinced I liked her before sex, but sex confirmed I didn't like her? Or is it better to say that I just wanted sex from the start? Are you sure I should agree to meet in person? I don't know how she will react, I mean she is calm person, she won't be raged but she had it happen to her before and has already self esteem issues she would for sure cry and make drama
Meeting in person is simply to treat her as a human, someone you respect and value. It will of course complicate things and she likely asked for it to convince you. That said, it is still the right thing to do, even if it won't really help. If you say sex confirmed it, then what are you saying? She was bad? You had to actually ejaculate before before figuring it out? A kiss or something didn't cut it? Of course you can go with it but you need to define the narrative if you do. E. g you wanted to like her because she's great, sex was great but the romantic feeling isn't there. That might be fine? The concern really just is what baggage you're leaving. Think it through from her side and pick what works best.
I wanted to tell her that when I kissed her I felt nothing, and that I didn't feel a spark and just realised it during sex. This was I wouldn't look bad and she should understand?
There’s no way to do that…. She’s going to be angry and crushed.
But should I tell her I never liked her or that I ralised after sex?
I’m not interested and sorry if I just you. There’s no way around the onslaught. Msn-Up. If you F it you will pay for it in some way.
This again?
So you lead her on, used her, and are now trying to downplay the shit you pulled on her? You're lucky she hasn't gotten you with a baseball bat.
You could’ve told her that in the beginning. That would’ve saved you a whole lot of trouble.
A sounds good to me.
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