Do "friends with benefits" relationships always end badly?

Theres a guy that I have hooked up with many times for 2 years or more. I used to have really strong feelings for him but over time and as I've matured and realized that I would never want to actually be with him, those feelings have gone away. Yesterday we met up for the first time in a couple months and hooked up..and today I have just been thinking a lot about it and if its a good idea. I think I want to end all contact with him and just take him out of my life but I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes I just feel like I would rather have him in my life like this, than not have him in it at all. Which sounds really stupid...Any suggestions?

This question is for guys you get as emotionally attached with sex as girls do? And are you just better at hiding it? or are there usually no feelings involved when its just sex with a girl? please be truthful!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know if they _always_ end badly, but in my experience they tend to end badly.

    I don't think you sound stupid by wanting him as an FWB, if it's the only option. But I also don't think it's healthy or reasonable of you to do FWB. It'll be difficult, if not impossible, for you to separate your emotions. People get emotionally attached to their sexual partners -- especially women do this.

    I suggest you do no contact for a fixed period -- three months, perhaps. This might be a good compromise. 3 months to get level-headed and clear your mind and clear your heart. After 3 months, you can re-evaluate what you want from him, and from each other.

    Good luck!

    • We have gone 3, even 5 months without any contact at all and somehow end up coming up into eachothers lives and hooking up AGAIN and AGAIN. I don't know why or what that means but its like we can't stay away from eachother. it is difficult to separate emotions from sex for sure...i wish that guys had the same problem.

    • Omg..i'm totally on the same boat as u.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know if they always end badly.. but I have read on a dating site, and been told by my guy friends before.. that most people don't know.. but whatever a guy sees you as.. or meets you as.. either "my girlfriend" or "a friend I have sex with" or a "hot fling" or "the love of my life" is usually what he will always think of you as.. there are exceptions etc. but it seems to be pretty accurate.

    • That's good to know. I really needed to hear this. I hope you're right.

      I also hope the reverse is true and that my initial impression and feelings are how I will always see him. (only if it's true for him too though! If not, that would royally suck!!)

  • Um that actually doesn't sound stupid just because sometimes I think just like that when it comes to my ex. I love him, but sometimes I can't deal with him but I don't want him out of my life, so I'm keeping him in my life and continuing to hangout and be intimate with him, just because that's the best decision for me and I'm okay with it. So if you want to keep him in ur life and still be intimate with him, then go for it :) its nothing wrong with it. You do whatever you want to do :)

    • I know I totally agree that I should do whatever makes me happy and being with him makes me happy its just that I'm so scared ill get attached again and those feelings will come back and I will get hurt. I just need to learn how to separate my emotions from the experience cus I know that for him its all about hooking up nothing else. how is it fair that guys are so good at doing that and not getting attached and girls do?! ughhhh.

    • Well that's not actually true, a lot of guys do get attached, they are just better than us at not showing their emotions :) but do what ever you want to do. We all make our own decisions. :)