Has any girl here ever felt disappointed or disgusted about your boyfriend's sexual past the way some guys do?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure most of you have heard about guys being disappointed or not so happy with the sexual past of their girlfriend or the girl they're dating, but you rarely hear about that disappointment coming from girls. Why is that? In all honesty, I have been disappointed and a tad bit turned off by my man's sexual past. Not because he was sexual, but because what a man will pursue and the way he'll pursue it can say a lot about him and his depth motives. For example, friends with benefits. I couldn't be any more anti friends with benefits just because I think the entire arrangement is sleazy, often tactless, and contributes to a greater descent of society and the men and women of this era. I can't help but be a bit turned off finding out that my man has had multiple FWB's in his past. It makes me think less of him when it comes to his morals and self control. I hate the idea that he may have had and may still have it in him to create a situation where he's making some girl feel cheap. Idk, I'd just like to think that my man has higher morals. I do think that friends with benefits can change your morals because there's this "It's all about me and my genital" attitude and I've seen people be totally faithful to that attitude despite if someone gets attached. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me. Another thing I don't like about that is if his former friends with benefits or FWB's (plural as in more than one) are in the same community as me be it school or work. They know all about my man and his bedroom tricks and moves. How do I know they haven't been telling their friends about him? I don't get overly upset about that, but I hate the idea of a bunch of girls knowing all about my man's junk and how he gets down in the bedroom. I just feel that should be private. I also hate it when I'm really into a guy and find out he's been a major man whore. One night stands, screwing random chicks and all of that sleazy trashiness. I try not to let it, but it really turns me off. Your thoughts? Has any other girl shared my frustration? Do you guys think I'm being too critical? Your overall opinion? Thanks :)

[sarahhouse]

Hey I'm a girl :) And I hate the term" Friends with benefits" To me the whole idea is moronic. Either we are FRIENS or we are DATING, the whole grau area is just toooo gray for me. And to be honest, I believe that in those situations someone always wants more. And about past...Hm...I don't really know...I just don't ask :) I was with a guy who , to quote you, was a total man whore and I knew a few of his...Hm..Lady friends, in fact I've seen them everyday :) Just do what I do-don't ask :) And If you find out anyway-goes in one ear-leave on the other (I hope that's the expresion ) :)

[Asker]

The 'friends' part is just thrown into the term because the reality of the arrangement, f*ck buddies, sounds terrible. It puts the spotlight on the sleaziness of the whole thing. So I think calling it friends with benefits is like the make-up to a pig. You make a good point. I could just not ask, but I like to know as much about my man or the man I'm interested in as I can. It's important. You have to be careful who you get attached to and who you allow to have a big position in your life

[Asker]

So apart of my way of doing that is by learning as much as I can about them. A person's past is important and it does matter. Your past is what makes you who you are and why you are the way you are. I think it's very important to completely know and understand many aspects of your significant others' past.

[sarahhouse]

Not if it will only hurt me :) But hey, who the hell am I to tell :)Aparently, I know nothing about these stuff :)

[Asker]

lol, nuh-uh, you seem to know some stuff!

[sarahhouse]

Honestly, no I don't :) I was with this guy for 2 and a half years and he was all up for the whole "lets-stay-friends-bu-with-benefits-stuff" and I was like...Hell, If I wanted to be with you in ANY WAY I wouldn't break up with you :) Oh and by the waym, that guy was the man whore I mentioned before :)

[madiocre]

... male or female I think it's judgemental.

and for the record, just because a girl is fwb, dosn't means she feels cheap...

But obviously it's not your style . Sas long as he isn't expecting you to be his friends with benefits you shouldn't really worry. I mean he wouldn't be pursuing you if that was all he wanted.

[Asker]

madiocre, I know that not every single girl in FWB feels cheap but I do know that most girls who participate in FWB are more likely to feel cheap and used at some point. It's very few girls who actually participate in FWB and truly have no strings attached and have been able to keep their heart out of it.

[katiesmuff]

I don't ask guy friends about their sexual past and don't really care!

[kheserthorpe]

I think you're free to feel that way.

I think the reality is that women have a less visceral reaction to male promiscuity because women didn't evolve to be worried that a potential mate was already pregnant, or that if they formed a relationship, she'd accidentally end up investing her life raising someone else's children.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

It's fine to be this critical actually, I figured there would be girls who would care about this sort of thing aswell. Thank god I'm not a slut though.

[samhradh_leannan]

I don't LOVE the fact that my boyfriend has had sex with other girls. But it doesn't really bother me, and I wouldn't change his past if I could. I don't want him to judge mine, and I'm not going to judge his.

[phil2]

i'm disgusted at my guy's past too

[Asker]

if you don't mind me asking, why?

[phil2]

he was a whore and lived in a whore house for 3 years and sort of like a child p*rn star, and like... well he likes to brag about how much sex he use to get... and what they did and how they did it in public and there were tons of people there at the party and then the cops came and there were a bunch of underage kids doing drugs... and people got arrested... what an effen life at 17

[Asker]

:O oh wow. that's crazy! I hate it when guys brag like it's some huge deal to have had your d*ck in a bunch of vaginas, vaginas that could have been dirty and STD infested. It's just gross

[Misty_04]

No. I honestly don't care. I think the person he is at the moment is far more important. If he was a complete tosspot I wouldn't have given him the time of day in the first place or got to know him at all.

[99PROBLEMS]

It would be a bit shocking if he had too many girls. I don't think I would date a guy like that.

[Asker]

Oh wow! really? why not? You'd feel that strongly about it?

[99PROBLEMS]

He can compare me to more girls and prob. is more likely to cheat on me if I don't give it to him right.

[Asker]

Oh so for you it's an insecurity issue? Not so much of questioning his morals, but you getting insecure and not wanting to have to worry about sexual competition?

[Anonymous]

IYeah, I was disgusted with my ex's past, because he dated this Freaking Annoying Tool. I ended up being so self conscious of my body. I loose wait when I'm stress, so before we went out I was 135lbs and when we broke up I was 121lbs :p

[Anonymous]

I was a bit of a player and slept with about 60 or 70 girls and my girl did not like it but she has accepted it and is now dating me. I only cheat on her once a week or so... kidding kidding

[sarahhouse]

Omg :))That line :))I only cheat on her once a week or so... ..And 60 or 70?! Dear God :))