Ever ruin something by cumming on it on accident? FUNNY STORIES

[A_Guy]

Girls or guys, ever ejaculate on something and rune it on accident? Say for example girls you are masturbating with something that is not suppose to go up in there, and you come and rune it. I know as a guy, I was masturbating, and out of all the things I was jerking it to, it was on ESPN I was watching a special on the female golfer annika sorenstam, I was really horny so I started to jerk off to her, and really did not expect to be so hard so fast, and I blew a huge load that kinda went everywhere and almost half of it landed on the remote, and after whipping off the remote, it would not work anymore! Sucked, but felt good too, and was quite funny.

[titan22]

ok I didn't necessarily ruin something but this story is hilarious! I went to a school dance back when I was in high school I was dancing with my girlfriend it kinda got hot and heavy so we went to my SUV and got rowdy. I was wearing one of my friends leather jacket when I got done I took the condom wrapped it up in a tissue went back into the dance found a garbage can and threw the tissue away... you notice I say tissue apparently the condom stayed in the pocket about a month later he was smoking outside and reached in his pocket to find what he thought was a balloon it took him a few minutes to figure out that he didn't remember putting in a gooshy water balloon in his pocket... he pulled out my condom and gagged horribly needless to say I'm not allowed to borrow his coat again...

[Anonymous]

i once was masturbating to PORN of course... had my kleenex in front of me ready to blow my load.. and I was going at it for like an hour(don't ask) and then I climaxed like a motherf.uc..ke.r. Came over the keyboard, monitor and totally missed the kleenex.

Another time, I soaked the kleenex and my hands were all covered, I didn't have more kleenex, and had to unlock the door with my dirty hands, rush to the bathroom using my shoulders and shit and then clean up. LOL. I need to get a gf.

[fivecolours]

Lol, that was very funny

[Anonymous]

Lol, my best friend was having sex with his girlfriend, and as he was cumming her roommate came into the room, and when he pulled out and turned over to get under the covers he ended up getting come all ova the roommate, gross for her but REALLYYYY funny

[A_Guy]

LOL, heck if you can't give your girlfriend a facial, guess you got to go with the next closest girl. That's really a funny story, what did the roommate do?

[Opinion Owner]

Lol!!!!!! she ran out of the room screaming down the hall, and him and the roommate never spoke again haha

[A_Guy]

Ah, that's sad, never speaking again, they had a bonding experience. Was the roommate at least hot :) lol had to ask.

[Opinion Owner]

My friend said she was busted, 2 bad for him lol

[A_Guy]

LOL, bustedd could be taken two ways. At first I was thinking of the term "bust a nut" so her being busted is another way of busting a nut in her face. Then I realized that maybe ur friend meant she is busty. Or maybe he is soo clever that it was both, busty and busted a nut. LOL not going to lie, I am jealous of your friend, I think that would actually be an amazingly funny thing to experience. Heck your friend got like many perks out of that experience....

[A_Guy]

.... he got to come, he got to give a girl a cumshot, and he has an extremely funny story.

[38rakia38]

My ex jizzed on my roommate's sweater.

My roommate didn't know.

When they found out, they had it framed.

It was really embarrassing because the rest of my family knew but the roommate didn't for 2 years.

[A_Guy]

Wait, so your ex jizzed on your roommates sweater, and your family found out, so they framed the sweater? Your roommate never found out? Is the stain still there? Like is it a red sweater with a big white crusty splooge mark hanging from your wall?

[38rakia38]

No, it's an Argyle sweater, I washed it after he came on it. And my roommate was the one who framed it, not my parents.

[A_Guy]

Oh, lol makes a lot more sense now, how did your parents find out?

[38rakia38]

My ex was trying to be funny and sort of dance around it because he thought my parents wouldn't get the "joke". They got "That sweater will never be the same after what we did, huh babe?" XD My mom's not a moron.

[A_Guy]

LOL, but your ex seems to be. Thanks for sharing, its actually a really funny story. What did your roommate do after finding out? Burn It?

[38rakia38]

My roommate framed it. He was really freaking weird.

[A_Guy]

LOL, well this totally took a gross turn. First I assumed your roommate was a girl, 2nd your roommate is kinda sick. LOL But still funny story.

[nothingtosee]

True story, I've actually shot my load right into my mouth! One day, as I was jacking off, I was fantasizing about what it would be like to taste my cum. I had this fantasy because an ex girlfriend had a fantasy of wanting to see a guy eat his own cum. Since then I became really curious about it. To me, that suggestion was so taboo. Anyway, just as I was about to cum, I told myself to open my mouth, and stick out my tongue. I was wondering if it was possible to squirt it right into my mouth. Anyway, I did it! I was able to squirt a couple of squirts right into my open, waiting mouth! I couldn't believe it! I was both scared and turned on at the same time! I didn't know what to think.

Since then, when I fantasize about that happening again, just as I'm about to cum, I will bring my legs up over my head so that my cock is hanging right over my mouth. Then, just as I'm about to cum, I will open my mouth, stick out my tongue and aim all of my cum right into my mouth! It's so naughty! It's almost like having a gay experience without the other guy!

[Anonymous]

Accidentally got my load all over my laptop and the come seeped inside! Didn't have enough time to wipe the mess when the screen display screwed up and a loud beeping sound came out...

Circuits were truly screwed and messed up when I had a friend come over to repair it... total loss of my laptop... :( thank goodness it was an old unit... but still... no idea laptops really don't lik cum!