Straight guys.. friends with benefits...

Question

Right so I guess this sounds weird because technically I guess I'm not really straight, but here's some back story.  I am now in college. I like girls. Very much so. I've had girlfriends and have had sex with women. Not sure if this ties into anything, but I'm also one of those dudes that makes gay jokes with my friends. It's never serious, and everyone knows it's a joke. However, for a while now, I've been a little curious about my sexuality. It's never been serious, and it usually just leads to me stumbling upon gay p*rnography every once in a while and "enjoying it". Now 2 nights ago, my (up to this point) straight buddy stayed over my dorm room. We always hang out on weekends because he lives on a different campus but comes to my campus to party, and towards the end of the night we end up meeting up and hanging out. He asks if he can come over and cuddle (one of those gay jokes).  I say only if I can be big spoon (again, another gay joke). Mind you, we both have some drinks in us. Anyways, we come back to my room, roommate is gone for the weekend, we play some video games and are getting ready for bed. He says that he wants to be big spoon and that the dude with the biggest d*ck should be big spoon. He proceeds to pull down his pants and pulls it out. To me, comparing d***s was never really gay so I do the same. Turns out I get to be big spoon. We lay in bed--not cuddling. (again, not thinking anything gay right now). He then gets a little closer and closer to me and then grabs my penis. For some reason I didn't do anything about it. Nothing serious happened, but we did mess around. I made to sure to tell him that I wasn't going to be weird about this as long as he wasn't and that I valued our friendship. He agreed. Now here's my question. Is this one of those cliche experimental college experiences? Or are we bi? Clearly I'm not gay, but the whole "bi" thing doesn't sit right with me as it insinuates that I would date and be in a relationship with a dude which I really cannot picture me doing at all. What do you guys think of this whole situation? I just need some 3rd person opinions to hopefully shed some light and this kind of confusing situation.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Technically, pleasure is pleasure. If you can jack your d*** or have it sucked by a woman, then a dude could give you a handjob or blow you, and you'd come just the same.

Most guys have this mental barrier that says (oh, HELL no, no dude is touching me) but the fact is that you don't have to be attracted to someone for them to get you off, and homosexuality is about what you're ATTRACTED to.

Women seem to have a much easier time getting past that mental barrier, straight girls can kiss, engage in threesomes, etc, without feeling one bit of sexual attraction for each other, and focus on the act. We guys have a much, much harder time doing that.

Not that that's really a bad thing, IMO.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It seems kind of unusual but he is the one being gay or bisexual since he grabbed your d***. You just lay there curious what would happen next. If your d*** was tingly when he touched it or you started getting hard you might be bisexual. Me and my old roommate used to jack off at the same time as each other sometimes after coming home from parties or strip clubs but we always did it in separate rooms. Basically we both knew we wanted to masturbate so there was no point holding back, we just went to our separate rooms and relieved ourselves lol.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think you just experimented some. Lots of people are curious about the same sex, and then usually move on from it. Not everyone experiments, but hey, we're not all the same. Just because this happened doesn't mean you need to label yourself as "bi" or start creating boundaries for yourself. It happened. If you want it to happen again, great. If not, that's good too. You'll find out what you really desire later without putting undo pressure on yourself to figure it out now.

katg4560 · Accepted Answer

Well the "gay gene" has been a proven thing. With the whole nature and nurture argument, that gene will be expressed differently in different people. Also there is this thing called the Kinsey(named after the sexuality sociologist who pioneered this idea) scale which puts sexuality on a scale. It also says that no one is entirely straight or entirely gay. Sexuality is a complicated issue and it's only "gay" or "bi" if you chose it to be.

Betwyn · Accepted Answer

right now, I'd say bi-curious.. how far did it go? did you touch too?  anyone suck? anyone cum?

lproxsme · Answer

maybe bi curious?

imonfire · Answer

Just wanted to comment that I was impressed with the open-minded answers here.

And, I hope you figure out what you want. I can say, personally, even with a lot to drink the idea of spooning with a male friend would be very uncomfortable. So would comparing d***s. I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all, but I think your comfort with those things is somewhat revelatory of your "curiosity"

CuriousEddie · Answer

I don't think that 'bi' means you would date or be emotional with a guy. In fact, judging from what I've seen on websites (like Literotica's Form) there's a lot of guys who think about sex with a guy but have no interest in an emotional attachment.

Don't get caught up in labels... maybe you're just horny and wanted some relief... you're still the same person. Maybe you'll do it again sometime, and maybe you won't. It is up to you, and it is your private business.

justme20 · Answer

do you like being with men sexually?

JohnnyRyan · Answer

I guess its just messing around. Doesn't really make you gay me and my buddies joke like that sometimes and hit each other on the d*** lightly like joking around.

It's hard to label people at times. Me personally I don't have interest with oral, anal, or kissing a guy but id open too wacking off with a buddy, double teaming a girl and OK with close proximity or tips touching. I don't think it would make you be labeled forever gay or bi really because it has nothing to do with being intimate with another male.

sikoo31 · Answer

So what exactly is your Q? Just our general opinion of your situation? If so, well, f*** it man, do what makes you happy as long as it hurts no one.

Anonymous · Answer

ill quote my homie riley freeman "nigga you gay"

Anonymous · Answer

Clearly you enjoy sexual contact with men, thus you aren't straight, and by your own admission you are not gay, therfore you must be "bi", that's the only group left.

Don't be ashamed on it, none of us can choose what we find sexually appealing or not. Sounds to me you will experience a life that yields great insights into the nature of both sexes personalities and experience. I'm kind of jealous in that regard, I'm 100% straight.

Do you think of that experience often and with enjoyment? Have you had more sexual experience with men before or after?

How old where you when you began evaluating me as being sexually attractive?

Anonymous · Answer

I miss the college years... I would have been a good friend. I am open minded and I enjoy sarcasm... so what did you end up doing?

Anonymous · Answer

theres always a hint of truth in sarcasm... kinda depends how far you went i think its kinda gay comparing your d***s why is he in your bed if your roommate is away?

Anonymous · Answer

This kind of turns me on lol can you tells us more what happened?

Straight guys.. friends with benefits...

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