I'm going to say it: Beauty is a cure. Now attack me but tell me why...

I used to be really overweight. I have a really pointy noise and an angular face and giant hips. People used to tell me I was ugly all the time or tell me to lose weight. My place in the world used to be "the fat friend." I had a lot of friends.

I started running, lost 80 pounds and grew into my sharp features. With age, my giant hips turned in to an hourglass figure. After 25 years of ugliness, now people tell me I'm beautiful but everyone hates me. My personality didn't change, just my body and appearance.

I can't have girl friends because they think I'll steal their boyfriend or be "competition" for dates.

I can't have guy friends because they get a girlfriend who tells them they can't be my friend. When I was fat, girlfriends liked me!

*I've never stolen a man before and am focused on school and don't have interest in dating at the moment...

If I get a good grade in a course at school, it's because I "flirted with the teacher." When I was fat I was considered "brains".

Creepy guys actually violate me by following me everywhere even when I tell them to stop.

Cocky jock type guys feel entitled to date me. If I say no (even though my reason is to focus on my school) I'm a "bitch" because I think I'm too good for him.

Guys don't look past my looks when they want to date me. This ends in them saying I'm "boring." I'm not boring, we just don't have anything in common.

Girls spread rumors about me and say I'm a "slut." I haven't had sex in over a year...

My sister who used to be my best friend now hates me because she considered herself the pretty one until last year. People always used to tell her that when we were together... now they say it to me.

I'm in the sciences at school. I constantly have to prove I deserve to be there. I didn't when I was large.

No one sees me as a person anymore; they just see my looks.

Now, go for it. Attack me for my feelings. But first, tell me why I am not entitled to feel this way.

Tell me how you know so much better than I do.

How are my looks a benefit? Tell me that and don't say anything to do with dates or men because I go on less now, not more.

Chances are, the ones who attack me are the very ones who makes these new looks a living hell...

Why do you hate the beautiful? I can't help the way I look anymore than you do.

I'm not complaining; I'm not going to change myself to be accepted by the miserable and jealous. If anything, beauty has shown me who my true friends are as well as those who are worth associating with.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think wrote this while you were a bit angry so you sound kind of mean, though you probably aren´t. But it´s OK, I wrote questions angry too.

    People tend to put other people in specific roles. And for most people, other people cannot change into another role, they have a destiny that society chose for them, and that is it, you cannot change. Some people do nothing to change and conform to what society expects from them. Other people, like you, change and develop into something else. The problem is that people don´t like changing the idea the already have about you. They want you to stay the way they imagine you forever.

    You were the fat, ugly girl and to girls especially that is wonderful because you are not considered a threat. They wanted you to be fat and ugly forever so that they could be the pretty, skinny ones forever. You were supposed to be single, fat and ugly forever. But you didn´t, you changed. Therefore, you didn´t do what people expected from you. That is one of the reasons people around you (girls of course) started resenting you.

    The other reason is that being beautiful is not always that easy. I have never "changed" like you, I was always considered pretty (like many other girls, I´m not super special and I don´t want to sound bigheaded) and I can´t tell you how many times I encountered hate from other girls, jealousy. When you are pretty the first thing people see is beauty which is something good, right? Well, when people see something good, they inmediatly think: "she can´t be perfect, there has to be something wrong with her". So they start looking for your faults. You become slutty, stupid, silly, no brains, a whore, a boyfriend thief, bigheaded, arrogant, a bad person...

    I think you should forget people who bother you, find new friends, leanr how to live with a great figure and appreciate the good things being healthy and young can bring.

    • Beauty is power and it takes intelligence to wield it wisely.

    • Good answer. I like your perspective :) I guess I have such a hard time with it because it's so new to me.

    • Yes, of course, it takes times to adapt to anything new; just don't let other people bring you down. Thanks for BA!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Wow. This pretty much sums up the problems of our current society. People are spiteful to the core, they just don't show it.

    I can't really offer real advice, because I've never had to deal with this problem. However, I believe the problem is that these people generate conflicts, and you don't really know how to handle it properly. The two solutions are, either resolve the conflicts (if possible, for example with your sister it is worth a try), or just cut connection and find new people who aren't total pricks.

    But what I really wanted to post was, at least you filter out all the a**holes in terms of guys. None of these people you met and had these sorts of trouble with are worth getting in a relationship with. I just hope none of them are psychos, just stupid.

  • you can't blame people for responding to stereotypes, they exist for a reason... the large majority of people fit them. your beautiful... brilliant, people will act differently to you cause youve changed stereotype havnt you? "i havnt changed just my body and appearance"... so you have changed havn't you?

    all of this whining as I'm going to call it is a bit stupid though, you've just said you've found your true friends. so what's your point?

    cus I'm going to be honest it sounds like you give WAY too much of a damn what people think of you. you can't be bestys with the whole planet. be nice and friendly to everyone and you will suddenly FIND yourself with best friends who see past your looks

    • I lost everything only because of how I look. It's very frustrating!

    • well kind of makes you think of who the people really were deep down if that's all they cared about

    • I know. Strange world! Oh well.

  • Before you were a non threatening, asexual amusing fat object.

    Now you're a sex object.

    • Hahahaha. Excellent summary!

  • It must be such a drag all those guys wanting to date you and all those girls being jealous of you.

    I can't imagine how awful it feels to be you.

    • No. Guys that I don't want to bang want to bang me and girls hate me for it.

    • I agree with you Alonso14, sounds like a nightmare doesn't it?

    • Yeah it does, I'll be sure to be more grateful for being unattractive to every woman and having everyone forget that I even exist :')

What Girls Said 6

  • This reminds me of a cartoon where there is an old man a girl and a donkey. When the girl is on the donkey people start criticizing and they say that the rude girl is not letting the poor old man ride. When he rides the donkey and she doesn't they say that he is a sexist pig and should consider female rights. When they were both on the donkey people felt sorry for the the donkey cause the poor animal had to carry two people. In the end no one rode the donkey and then they were called idiots cause no one was riding the donkey.

    The lesson: People will always be full of sh*t and if you give them a chance or care too much about what they think they will feast on you whether you are fat, pretty, stupid, smart etc etc etc.

    I know what you are talking about cause I had a serious nose issue and after the plastic surgery guys were hitting on me like flies and you feel cheap cause deep down you know they don't really give a sh*t of who you are. They are just attracted to your looks but then on the other hand instead of looking at this from a negative light look at it from a positive perspective and think that due to your new looks you have more opportunities to date guys and to let them get to know the wonderful smart you beneath the good looks. Looks won't give you happiness or love but it increases the odds that you might find it if you are smart about it.

  • What's the problem? You're hot now.

    People are going to hate. Tough cookie.

    There have been girls as well as guys who have lost weight and guess what? They got f***ing hot. - Sure, some people may not like it because you're competition now. You were beauty in the dark.

  • The only people who will stop liking you because you are beautiful are the insecure ones who don't like themselves. I have friends who are far more pretty than me and we are still really good friends and I don't mind it. Not everyone is like that. Beauty does come at a price and it comes at a plus too. I wish you luck and congrats on the 80 pound weight loss

  • Where's the question?

    My God, if you're so unhappy gain weight again.

  • Just don't care. All wd get adjusted

  • Be confident and use your beauty as power.don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty.they either mad they aren't as pretty as you, or mad they can't have you.hold your head up high and walk with pride

    Find a group of pretty girls and clique up with them.your experience is exactly why pretty girls hang with each other

    F*** the haters.you are a threat now.as a beautiful woman you are the envied and the desired.embrace it.once you get used to your beauty,I think you'll adjust.right now its new to you so understandably you'll feel awkward about it. Stop caring about insignificant ppl, they will always talk sh*t.