How to move on from a guy that was never really yours?

[xLilinight]

He and I are both currently 18 year olds and seniors in high school. He and I have been friends for four years and we decided to become friends with benefits to each other. It has been one year that we’ve been friends with benefits and we grew very close. Needless to say, we became best friends (with benefits). We both trust each other a lot and we know that we can rely on each other. We help each other out. We even call each other cute nicknames like ‘beautiful/handsome’, ‘darling’, 'sexy/naughty' or ‘hon’. Our ‘fwb’ relationship is also monogamous; we talked about how we would become jealous if we were physical with other people. Recently, we both had to go through painful experiences, such as our unplanned pregnancy which resulted in a miscarriage in the first trimester. We were also going through the pressures of high school and certain family problems, but we were always there for each other and it brought us even closer. And then it made me realize how much I truly love him. Recently, things have been settling down and I can tell he has moved on from the miscarriage but I am still accepting the fact that I have damaged myself a lot from the pregnancy as well as the hormones from the pregnancy pills. Therefore, I grew very dependent on him. But I don't think he understands, as he takes it kinda lightly, but always tries his best to be there for me. He knows now that I have feelings for him, and told me that he's not interested but he'll still be there for me because I'm his best friend. He doesn't feel the same way as me and may eventually not but he cares about me a lot. It hurts a lot though, I'm so confused and frustrated and I feel like I want to end this, I've waited enough to let myself feel better but my emotions are upsetting me. Worst of all, I can't seem to accept the fact that he'll have new female friends any time which may change things. What can I do?

[may04]

I wish I could give you a step by step plan for this but there isn't one that I know of. I had a FWB that I ended up falling for as well, but I didn't have nearly as much of the struggle and growth that your situation had put you through. The only advice I can give is to end it. All of it. The FWB, and spending time with him a friend. You'll never get past your feelings if you constantly are spending time with him, even in a completely platonic way. Once you've had a little time to yourself you can reassess your feelings and decide if you're ready to try and see other people. If you choose this route, don't burn your bridges. Make sure to sit down with your friend and explain to him that you need space in order to move on from your feelings, but that you don't hate him. Let him know that you can see trying to be friends like before sometime in the future, but not until you've done what you need to take care of yourself. (Obviously do not say any of this if you don't feel it or mean it).

Having space isn't a 'cure' for what you're feeling. You're still going to hurt. Once the newness of not having him in your life goes down and you start to adapt to your new routines it won't be as bad. Once you feel emotionally ready you can get back out there and meet new people. Your situation sucks, but you can get through it. I wish you the best

[htarmort14]

Look, it could be worst, he could have drop you when you gave birth. I would move on and accept the situation AS IS - FRIEND WITH BENEFITS. You and him know that going into that is like a deal. Now, he doesn't have to worry about a baby on the way, he is moving on. You NEED TO for your own sake. It is mostly the hormone and medicine that is causing a lot of emotion ties. As well as having sex with him for a long time (brain hormone release last up to 14 days of love for women and only up to 2 days for guys).

[gaurav83]

Well...if by any chance he may also feels the same way as you do, he can only realize it when he would miss u. He likes you and cares for u. May be he's just not ready to be in a relationship right now. Problem is u've developed romantic feeling for him. So it would be difficult for you to get yourself together when he is around u. Just make him understand about how strong your feelings are and they are affecting your life. Keeping a fair distance will make you less dependent on him. It's not easy to do but that's the right way. Just convey your message as if it's important for u. He shouldn't feel like you want to leave him because he is not interested in u. That's would be inappropriate.
Take care

[Racez]

It's painful because you've grown attached to him. You've went through a lot. You've shared so fun times together. You've both grew to be attracted towards each other through all the quality time you've shared.

As friends with benefit, I think you should just let him go. Yes, you're best friends however you're not romantically involved. And, it's like he has no obligation or responsibility to you. Moving on is part of life. It helps you grow wiser and stronger. Also, it lets you step closer to your ideal guy. A guy who will appreciate, respect and understand you.

[Racez]

Take it optimistically in a way that you see it as a break-up that will make you step closer towards a guy who will really treat you like he did, and will love you no matter what, and not just treat you as a friend.

[Premonition]

Just keep reminding yourself, he's not your an Move on to become stronger