Why Can't I Make Him Cum?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes We Have Sex For Hours And Still He Won't Cum. I End Up Giving Up Because I Start To Take It Personally Like Somethings Wrong With Me . I Am In My Twenties , Never Had Kids , Already Know About The Squeeze Technique , Where You Contract Your Muscles , Only Been With Like Eight Guys Ever . He Is Average In Size . Also Masturbates A lot . I'm Worried That I Feel To Loose Inside There . But It Just Doesn't Make Sense Why I Would Be . Is There Anything I Can Do . I Use To Be Able To Make Previous Boyfriend Cum Way Quick .

[nymphoman]

Can be simply the position, he may have issues with sensation or he may have a psychological reason.

I don't want you to take offense to this but maybe he just can't get off on you alone, maybe try putting some porn on as maybe he finds sex a bit of a hassle.

Ask him to be blunt honest with you if there is a problem, you must promise to not take offense, it may upset you but you will do whatever you can to fix the problem.

Sometimes you just need to find the right position for him, sometimes it will be a position that only works for him but maybe not you.

If indeed it is that you just aren't tight enough then usually a good position will see to that or you can get treatment for it,

Before treatment make sure you try a lot of Kegel exercises (google "Kegel exercises" for more) and if you have done that rigourously and it's still failing to tighten enough then talk to your doctor as there may be trouble with your muscles that require a series of appointments at hospital whereby an electric current is applied to the muscles to help tighten them (sounds scarier than it actually is), this usually works wonders.

Remember before you go to the doctor make sure the problem is with you first otherwise you both may need to speak to the doctor on what can be done to help him reach climax.

[jojowriter]

if he is masturbating, that will not give him the ability to cum. his sensation scale is dulled. Tell him to stop pleasuring himself so that you can do it for him more often. if he rather masturbate than be with you, then you guys need to talk about that and may want to think about where you are really heading with this relationship. But for now, just focus on pleasuring yourself with him and cumming yourself, then when you feel satisfied, stop and don't worry about making him cum.. focus more on your needs rather than needing to please others.. there might be something here that you need to work on - emotionally.. but you gotta ask yourself that , no one knows that but you.

[CrazynKinky]

Anti-depression drugs make it so guys really can't cum. If your worried that your to loose there are exercises that can tighten you up. Plus it's a muscle it doesn't stretch to much it does retract obviously. But make sure he's sober have a lot and I mean a lot of fore play, give head, find the spots that turn him on the most and make sure you hit them when your doing it. If you really want to make him come play a "game". Or tell him to not masturbate if he won't stop don't have sex for a while like a week and make sure you still tease the sh*t out of him trust me it'll work

[Akasha]

I have a similar problem with my BF. In his case, I think it actually relates to a medical condition. I used to think it was just me too, but I came to realize it was not my problem. Never once in the past did I have trouble making another cum. Talking to him about it should put your mind at ease. There are several reasons this can happen, the least likely is you. If he is an honest person and values your relationship, then he will let you know what's going on. Some guys just have a whole lot of stamina.

[Roophio]

Some guys are tough girl. And that's the answer to your question. I've had guys come quickly and some take time. Ask him how he gets himself off and maybe he can show you some techniques. If you're able to suck him off, maybe that's the trick right there. As for being loose...um, you can't help it. Some are tight and some aren't. But ya, ask him what he does to get himself off and see whether he can give you some pointers as to how to help him come for you.

[Coolest1]

You've been with 8 guys in your early twenties... doesn't help. He masturbates a lot which probably includes before he was with you that same day... a problem. He may have a bad diet not eating properly before sex... a possible problem. You may be not doing enough advance work... Some guys especially heavy masturbaters need to be turned on visceraly, because when they're watching porn they're wiring has been wound up in such a way where they have like sexual A.D.D unless a girls hits that spot for them they have to work harder to be turned on. For guys like that a lot of what makes them orgasm isn't necessarily your physical touch its how stimulated they are mentally by you..basically you have to play with them more.

A couple of suggestions...

1. If you think he masturbated earlier in the day try having sex right after he eats something.

2. Try early morning sex after he's slept for a good amount of time. Always great for me.

3. let him start the sexual interaction when he's ready.

4. he's gotta cut down on the masturbating that will kill your relationship.

[Asker]

Im 29yrs old

[mochamix]

well a guy who masturbates a lot starts to lose the excitement while having the actual sex

i would suggest talking to him about it

[hardboy]

Umm, no. Masturbation is one outlet for sexual release, but intercourse is different, not better. Some things excite a guy when he's spanking off, while other things work on him during foreplay and intercourse.

[Jackdajerk]

You seriously need to read this --->

[SecretsSanctuary]

I think you have it backwards, I don't think you can give an orgasm, you can only have an orgasm. This said, I think you should stop feeling guilty, if there's been attempts on your part to turn him on and satisfy him, the rest is up to him, to figure out his body is his duty, not yours.

That being said though, I have a hunch this friend has some issues with his energy levels, perhaps something is on his mind, or maybe a medicine he's taking, even stress, whatever it is, something lowering his arousal level, again this is not your issue, but his. There's a book I would recommend, "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" present him with this, you might be surprised at the results.

XD

Best of luck~!

[Feelinfrisky]

Sounds very much like the problem is with him. Try something different. Do you suck him before sex? Suck him, act really slutty. Shock him with how slutty you can be. Have sex in a different place. It doesn't have to be in bed. Do it in the daytime without covering. Leave your curtains open etc. etc. If he doesn't come faster, then maybe you should ask him why.

[ekspain]

its NOT that big a deal .

Cumming is over rated. Its that dis satisfaction that will lead to caress and love, never ending.

so don't worry so much.

[Troutbum]

8 isn't bad it's like 1 a year over 8yrs. Try new things. It's not really how tight or lose you are. But first ask him why he doesn't

[Stonez]

try giving him a blowjob. he'll come if he's not gay.

[divomotto]

umm try touching his balls lol. Also, make sure he does not masturbate for a couple of days lol that would help to

oh maybe you should find someone who is bigger to if his size is that much of a problem to you

[bcrombie]

There can be TONS of reasons, and the LEAST likely one is you.

He may be stressed out about something outside or inside of the relationship, fear of pregnancy: I can guarantee you, though, that it is something going on inside of his head that is 'holding it in' ;)

The best thing to do, if it is as important to you as it seems, is to talk to him about it. Make sure he is comfortable with the entire situation, work through it TOGETHER. If there is one other thing I can recommend it is not to get frustrated if he doesn't have an answer - there is a good chance he didn't consider what the issue is.

Best,

Brian

[Kanqaz]

Or maybe the MOST likely reason is her. :)

[pearl1979]

Its not you. Its him. It could be drugs, drinking or like a lot people said he masturbates too frequently. Change positions, take longer in foreplay. I have had two kids and my husband can still come in a few minutes.

[dreamer010999]

Do you know if he had this problem before? My guess is that he just has this problem for some reason or another, and it may have nothing to do with you.

[Dela1111]

It kinda does make sense that you're loose inside since you have been with 8 guys, not sure who told you that was a small number, but he's probably just getting tired of you.

[chemical]

Well it's not a large number...

[Dela1111]

You're joking right?

[blondegirl56]

8 is a good sized number, but I have heard of higher and then there are ones who are really bad.

[Dela1111]

As long as the fact some girls are deep in the double digits makes you feel better, lol. 8 isn't a good sized number no matter how you look at it.

[Asker]

Im 29 years old

[restless]

Why does people still have that standard that a female should have only slept with 2 or 3 men in her life. Women are sexual beings too.Men Jack off to porn and we know how many men they have been with so I don't get it. If she has been with guys that been average size or small lets say how can she be loose.

[Dela1111]

ONLY slept with 2 or 3 guys? Your standards are really pathetic.

[pearl1979]

It doesn't matter how guys she has been with. Anyways you are so judgmental. That wouldn't make her loose. Childbirth would.

[Dela1111]

Oh no you're absolutely right, a series of 6 or more penises would definitely not make her loose... So what do you girls think that it doesn't matter how many guys you have sex with, you'll still be as tight as you were for the first guy? That's just a complete asinine thought process and utterly incorrect.

[MawyBee]

She's 29? Shup, you virgin? Since when are you a girl? If you've probably only slept with the one girl then you wouldn't know that CHILDBIRTH would make a big difference in how loose or tight she is.. Girls are tight until they've had sex about 5 times.. Then they're at average size.. It doesn't matter how many guys or what size they are.. Unless she shoved a bus up there, it'll expand and contract.. Dela, you need to get off the internet and go f*** 7 or 8 people.. I think these girls shud no..

[HazeyMorning]

I wish people werent so judgmental. Everyone has issues. Did you know some people aren't born with a hymen (cherry)? Some people have self-esteem problems. If someone i blaming themselves for this issue they PROBABLY HAVE SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES ALREADY. there's no need to knock them down further. I have this issue as well. We actually talk about it he says he doesn't know what it is. The sex is amazing, sometimes he just isn't able to cum. Its always taken forever, but now we're to the point where he just doesn't cum at all. He says it isn't my fault that i still do it for him, its just that he has a problem... And im super tight so it's not like thats ACTUALLY the issue.

[Littletad]

I agree with jacquesvol. There has to be some sort of pill he's taking or medicine. I've even heard of some natural viagra that some men can take. It makes them last for a few hours more.

[jacquesvol]

I was rather thinking along the line of a numbing drug (cannabis) or medicine (anti-depressants, sleeping pills,anti-epileptics), alcohol and/or an (acquired) automatism which blocks his orgasm, primary develloped to increase the girl's pleasure or to replace proper birth control and which has become a reflex. (fr the carezza links I gave)This would have been more easy to develop if he masturbates frequently. I've been looking on the www but there's not much on male anorgasmia at first view:(

[jacquesvol]

Look under "retarded ejaculation" too.

[PanamaFlyBoy]

man I jerk off a lot and I have no problem having sex with my girlfriend she does the right tricks and I come

[LittlePrincess94]

Only 8, holy.

[lalalad4]

all I know is that the less he masturbates, the easier it will be to make him come.

[jaynasty]

jojowriter got it tell him not to whack off for 2 weeks and you can't get him off in between then and have the best sex ever...hell cum...also I personally can't come at all no matter how long its been if I use a condom...if that's the case with him take off the condom and suck him off...also get wild do things that turn him on tell him you want him to come surprise him tell him you want his come or you want it in your mouth very few guys wouldn't explode after that...

[Jon090]

try getting to him before he masturbates

[enlightenment]

blow him in between? helps...