How come I got incredibly horny and did stupid things for this guy, who's actually not nice at all?

[Anonymous]

Usually I am careful with sex. I don't easily feel comfortable around most guys, don't feel horny often and probably think to much about bad things. I even made my last boyfriend wait for a month and only had sex 5 times with him in a year (my other relations were a lot more active yet shorter). I recently went to this party at my home town. There was this guy I was in class with for a few years and I used to have a crush on. He's not that pretty but he's really confident to the point when he talks and kind of has this bad alpha college boy attitude. And I guess I'm a sucker for that. I got extremely horny when he was hitting on me. He wasn't much of a gentleman yet turned me on so much. I even bought him 3 drinks and he bought me nothing... I ended up going to his place and gave him a blowjob. I could have never imagined myself doing that before this time but couldn't resist. He didn't call me back afterward so I texted him and asked if we could spent some time together and I could cook us a meal. So three days in a row I went to his place, cooked for him, even cleaned his place a little and gave him a blowjob. One time he even asked me to blow him wearing this tinkerbell outfit I had from this stupid school play from years ago. The next day I got a text from him saying "are you coming over? I'm starting to feel hungry and need some help getting rid of this load". I suddenly realized it was so wrong and I really had to stop pleasing this asshole, even if I feel horny. I never felt this horny in my life though and can't explain why. I know this was bad, but have any of you had an experience like this? Cause I totally lost control, knowing it was wrong and it completely changed my thought about sex at that moment. And he wasn't even nice to me at all.

[Anonymous]

This type of thing happens often, to many girls I think- especially the good girls! I think a lot of us have this illogical soft-spot for massive jerks. I went through the same thing when I was about 17 or 18. I was also very conservative about sex, and never thought I would be someone that would get involved with a guy like the one you described, but I did. Confidence is sexy, and bad boys tend to have a lot of confidence just radiating off of them.

Like you, I don’t usually get horny too easily, but this one guy really got to me. I think I am naturally really attracted to the typical “bad boy”, because so often they were so sweet and loving to me in private. Not only this, but I think I associated the “bad boy” traits with masculinity. I was very shy in high school, and I saw “bad boys” as not only exciting, but as someone who could take on the world and protect me.

A lot of girls were throwing themselves at him all the time, except me- which I suspect was the reason he targeted me (the catch). He was very smooth and extremely attractive. Add confidence to that, and I took the bait. Sexually, I am more submissive, and like when a guy takes control and is a little aggressive- which he was. It took a couple of months or so, but he eventually convinced me to engage in sexual activities with him (not actual intercourse). I think part of the reason why I gave in, and acted so stupid with this guy was because he made me feel wanted and attractive. And because I was so attracted to him, the constant attention and “work” he put into trying to get my attention was also a turn on. These guys can pick up vulnerability, and know what to say to get what they want.

I didn’t go as far as cleaning or cooking for him, but I would cancel plans with my friends and spend school nights, when I should have been studying, with him instead. All my time with him was sexual. When we talked- it was sexual, when we would drop by his house so he could “pick up something”- it turned into something sexual. I started feeling “cheap” because it came to the point where we’d get together, just so I could give him oral sex, and then I’d go home. Not too long after, I broke it off with him because I realized that being with him actually decreased my self confidence and self worth, rather than increased it (which was how it seemed at the beginning.)

I also think its all about age and maturity. Young girls are often attracted to what’s on the surface, but with age and maturity, girls usually start to appreciate what’s underneath that surface.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer. I also hope it goes away by getting older. And it's really good to know I'm not alone with this problem. At least you had kind of a relationship with him. He didn't even give me attention.

[Anonymous]

i don't agree that he is so guilty like others said , he did take advantage of you but it is just because you appeared like a very cheap whore , cause he just picked you out of the party and you sucked his **** , wouldn't anybody treat you like worthless after that? 90% of the guys would , specially that it wasn't even sex , at least sex happens to be satisfying for both sides , but just blowing a guy and going home with the walk of shame is so sad ! please never do this , it makes girls look so cheap , like all you worth is to sit on your knees and suck dicks , he of course would have disvalued you after that , specially that you did the same thing on the second and the third days , and even you didn't wake up the next day , you were the one who texted him for more sucking of his dick, have self respect and control yourself ,even with the hottest guy ever, cause wrong sex on wrong occasions can be pretty degrading

[Asker]

I am not saying it was all his fault and I know it was stupid and well, slutty. But I somehow just felt turned on by only cooking cleaning and sucking his dick for a few days. But I will try my very best to control myself.

[Opinion Owner]

yes I know I was somehow harsh , but it really sucks when you blame yourself afterward, yes they can be real sexy ,but at least no blowjob , they give a man who is not in love yet that you are worthless , and you are not , good luck :) , did this happen in holland ?

[Stacyzee]

You like being taken advantaged of.

But when there is a guy that is caring who treats you like you deserve to be,

you don't satisfy him much.

This is a psychological problem.

You have to dig deep to find why you are this why.

Perhaps you didn't have much of a father figure, or mistreated badly by some

man figure in your life Or

maybe you are very insecure and feel you aren't deserving of anything better etc.

There are plenty of reasons why you are doing this.

[Asker]

Thanks, this actually makes a lot of sense. I liked my father and have never been mistreated but I do think a dominant man turns me on. I must admit that I have often fantasized about sex with bad guys that I must never date cause they would fuck and dump me, but it never aroused me as much as this time to cross that border and actually do it.

[Stacyzee]

If this is what gets you off, that's fine. If you're going to have sex with a "bad boy" at least get what that is respectful. A guy can be a "bad boy" in bed, and treat you lady like when he isn't sexual with you. Don't get someone that is using you and will probably talk bad about you when you aren't there.

[yopyopyop]

You confuse dominant and abusive. This guy is just a jerk, he has no dominant trait.

[Stacyzee]

It is apparent that he is jerk which is why I am telling her to look elsewhere. Look for someone that is respectful.

[MrOracle]

This is simple. Bad Guys are bad, but because they are bad, they don't give a crap about anyone else but themselves, and certainly don't worry about anyone else's opinions or feelings. As a result, they tend to have a lot of confidence. Women *LOVE* confidence, and are attracted and often sexually stimulated by it.

It's great for women if they meet a Good Guy who is confident, but then they meet a Bad Guy, many women ignore or overlook (or deny) the fact that he's BAD, and focus only on that sexy confidence, and so they make stupid decisions. It's not unlike what happens to guys around a really hot, sexy girl: they shut off their brains and think with other parts of their anatomy.

Bad Guys will ALWAYS use you. That's how they are; it's in their nature, and that isn't ever going to change. If you are weak-minded, you will allow yourself to succumb to their confidence, but if you are smart, you will see them for who they are, and not allow them to use you.

[Balto]

Give this man a beer...!

[smarackto]

Well brain on would be good. Don't motivate assholes. Nice guys don't get a chance and assholes gat blowjobs food and a clean place really? This world is not fair. Please apologise to all the nice guys who would make food for you and clean up your place and would wait for sex until their D falls off. I would suggest that you masturbate until you can use your brain again. Because I am always the nice guy and know how all the other nice guys feel.

[katiesmuff]

He somehow got your juices flowing and from there it was easy for him to get you!

[yopyopyop]

You sound quite desperate to me.

[Jsonason]

"Wrong"? You used him as much as he used you right?

[Anonymous]

because confident assholes turn you on. I don't find that wrong but you are smart enough to know that confident assholes are only good for sex.