Would you ever date a girl that your friend had seen naked?

[Anonymous]

I'm 23, and I've only ever hooked up with one person that I went to high school with. I was very afraid and prudish, didn't lose my V-card until almost 21 etc etc. Anyway, a couple years ago, following the breakup to the guy I lose my V-card to, a group of us from high school all went out together to reconnect. This guy was a few years older than me, we'll call him X, really sweet, and I guess I was rebounding a bit. We both wanted some affection. Anyway, we made out and I stayed the night with X. Next morning we wake up, make out again, and he saw me naked. He fingered me some, I gave him a short handjob, neither of us got off and it didn't go farther than that. No oral or sex. X tried but I said no. Anyway, X is a really sweet guy, but we didn't date or anything. We've seen each other a few times since, but I think he has a bit of a drinking problem, and is still in love with his ex (who is a friend of mine and didn't care that we hooked up). HOWEVER, whenever him and I end up at the same place on a night out, he gets really drunk and tries to sabotage me and any guy that tries to talk to me. I don't think he means it maliciously, but it's not like he's in love with me. He just gets drunk and doesn't want anyone else to flirt with me. This last time? It happened to be another guy from our school. He's about 7 years older than me, we'll call him Z, and I had a huge little girl crush on him back in school. We chatted, hit it off, we even kissed some and I was super interested. But of course, X jumped in to talk a bunch of trash, and I think he told him we lightly messed around a couple years ago. My question is, do guys care a lot about this? They're not best friends, but they do go out to bars and stuff together sometimes. Will a guy completely disregard dating a girl if he knows a friend of his has seen her naked? X isn't a bad guy that I would regret hooking up with for any other reason except I feel like his jealousy has now ruined any potential relationship with a guy from back home :(

[Jonny_]

I have on at least three or four occasions, two of those times was with a girl we'd both been with before we became friends so it's slightly different. We're cool about that kind of thing though, we don't really care so long as they weren't seriously intimately tied to her at the time.

[Asker]

Thanks for the input

[ironeddie]

It wouldn't bother me.

If it bothers "Z" he's kinda immature.

your past is your past. Not his.

As for "X" he needs to grow up. And possibly get help with his drinking if it is a problem.

If other are thinking it is. Chances are he does have a problem.

[Asker]

Thanks for the input. Yeah, I think he's not aware he has a problem, but pretty much every time I've seen him he becomes too drunk to function and often does things he apologizes for later. He's fine when he's sober, but his drunk self keeps coming back to haunt me the last 2 years :/ Really wishing I'd made a different decision back then.

[ironeddie]

Hind sight is 20-20. But don't regret being a friend. You may be the one who can make him start to think. If he's apologizing for something in the future. Subtley say something like thank you for the apology. But you've been doing that a lot latley. Maybe you could think about easing up a little bit. This may piss him off. and he will think it's none of your business. And continue drinking and probably say not so nice things to you when drunk...

[ironeddie]

But hopefully if he cleans up down the road he'll remember what you tried to do and reach out to you for one last apology. BTW - This is coming from a 20 year alcoholic who has been clean for 14 years.

[3someDoctor]

X needs to be left alone for one reason, and that's because of his drinking problem. When a guy gets drunk, he usually will wind up getting violent, maybe not at first, but later on. Me, If I knew that a friend saw you (or another girl) I liked naked, I wouldn't really care as what was done was done.

If he tries to hold it over our heads, I'd knock him out and tell him to stop or he'll get worse.

[Citizenkirk]

I don't see the problem, since both girls my friend and I went out on a double date with saw both of us, along with our teammates and the opposition, naked many times, along with their parents, classmates, freinds, extended family, and school faculty. My friend somehow managed too hold onto resentment of being reminded of an ongoing humiliation throughout grade school and Jr. High by his date, me feeling flattered that the only reason they came too every single practice and competition was because of the massive crush they had on us but were too shy too ask us out. They described the meticulous process of documenting their findings when monitoring our development (sexual development and reproductive health) based on public hair growth, frequency of erections, etc. and expressing regret that the summer program at the YMCA only went up too 8th. grade, meaning no more naled us too ogle and admire. My freind's prudishness was pissing me off and I wanted too see smiles on them girl's faces so I stripped and neatly folded my clothes for my date too put in her purse and welcomed any observations, inspections, and questions they had and they shared that information with us, since my friend conceded that it was nice too see our girls smile, which is what they did the entire time we were bare.

This photo was taken 5 to ten years before my time but was same situation.

[jacquesvol]

Of course, that wouldn't stop me. I've never been a cradle snatcher.

My wife and I had several common friends (M & F). I know she was a virgin but not 100% innocent at 19, not even at 17, lol. I don't even want to know what she did with who.

If she hadn't been a virgin, that wouldn't have made the slightest difference.

[Asker]

I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully these conversations just won't come up, but I worry about having to explain my past even though it wasn't so extensive. I was a (non innocent) virgin like your wife for a while, and have now gone all the way with 3 people. I don't feel like a loose girl, on the contrary I've held myself back a ton, but I wonder how much of a past guys will accept and if numbers are such a big deal. Or if guys even ask anymore.

[Cowboy6666]

To the fucking extent Ii will date.

[JennieF]

My husband did.

[Kellyht01]

Not quite sure of it but ummmmm it would be awkward

[Anonymous]

Generally, nudists are people who find nothing wrong with being nude and being seen nude. Such a man does not worry about men seeing his wife/girlfriend nude. So from my point of view, that is no biggie at all. And many men will not mind if their SO was touched by guys "in a previous life" (before their relationship began). Even if they know the guy. And guys should not expect that their SO was definitely a virgin, but that can be a deal breaker.

The important things are that you cannot lie to your SO. If you are completely honest and don't pull any punches, he will believe you and it will not matter to most as long as you are strictly his from now on.

The guy you are talking about is way out of line. If I was your guy and you had told me the story, then as soon as the guy started his trash talk with me I would tell him to shut up. If he does not drop it forever, he will not continue to be my friend. But you would continue to be my SO.

[jacquesvol]

The population of a few beaches did see my wife and me nude. Who worries about that? If we really should wear clothes all the time, wouldn't we have been born with pants and a T-shirt?

[Opinion Owner]

Or our own leaves strategically growing.

[Anonymous]

This isn't just being seen naked this has sexual contact with it. I would never date a girl that has done stuff with my friend, period. If he happened to see her in the shower by accidentally walking in on her or something innocent like that then yeah I would date her.

[Asker]

I wasn't trying to be deceptive. I just didn't want to say "hook up" in case it gave the connotation that we had sex or oral sex.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't think you were being deceptive. I was just clarifying the difference for me and what would be too much. That was all. :) I am also of the mindset that I would not date someone who a friend of mine has dated

[Asker]

Ok I can understand that

[jacquesvol]

" I would never date a girl that has done stuff with my friend" That will seriously restrict your choice in girls.