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Isn't sex important in a relationship?

I will keep this as short as possible. We have been together for about a year and in the beginning, we did have sex with and without condoms. This lasted for whenever we could see each other over the course of about four months. He said that since I am not on birth control that we should take other routes for a while so we resorted to oral, fingering and anal. All satisfying but as time went on, the sex never came up from him and I was the one who said something. I don't believe in birth control because it is damaging to the body but I told him that if he will drive me I will take it so we can be intimate. Time went on and still nothing. We have been fingering and doing oral and anal for about nine months, tried a condom a few times but I hate them and he loses his erection. I am 24 and he is 38, I am attractive and he is in good health. My issue, is, that I am very sexual and would like nothing more than to be intimate with him and I have let all this time pass waiting for him to say, "hey lets get you on that pill so we can have sex" but, NOTHING! I don't have any problems with p*rn, which he looks at daily and masturbates, but he will sneak off and do it, which is mostly normal for either a single man who has no sex or for a man who has sex with his woman but also enjoys fantasy. It wouldn't be hurtful if he didn't do it in secret and if he showed interest in being intimate with me. I don't believe it is at all normal for a man his age Not to want a hot younger girlfriend wanting to fuck him all the time and masturbating instead and not making any moves to bring me to get birth control... He has cut me inside with his nails a lot of times when he has fingered me. I didn't care but he says now he doesn't want to do that anymore because he is afraid to hurt me... I said I don't care, let it hurt, I just want you...and nothing... I am absolutely dumbfounded and I'm becoming very negative and hurt over this. Is there any advice or comments any man can give that might help me better understand? Talking to him obviously hasn't gotten me very far aside from now losing the fingering which was the closest to sex I've gotten in a year.
Isn't sex important in a relationship?
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