Fuckbuddy now wants to watch movies all the time.

[Anonymous]

So this horny guy that I have the luck to have between my sheets 3 times a week now brings a movie whenever he comes to my place... We start making out, I can feel that something between his legs is ready for action, but then he says "so let's watch the movie"... he cuddles me during the whole movie (sex afterwards), whenever I ask him to sleepover he's always really ready and happy to stay, he cuddles and hugs me the WHOLE night... with me sleeping wrapped in his arms... and hugging me tighter and kissing me whenever he wakes up... Well I don't really desire a relationship but I'm catching feelings for this big guy and I'm afraid of getting too involved and then get hurt. I know he doesn't want a relationship and I don't mind labels anyway, but would you guys say that this is normal fuckbuddy behaviour?

[MrOracle]

You may be exactly right about the WHY, but really, this all comes down to communication. The two of you need to sit down and talk, and if necessary, create some boundaries. FWB is an ADULT relationship for MATURE people who can TALK to each other honestly, and create whatever rules and boundaries are necessary to make it work for both people. FWB relationships tend to go against the "rules" we were taught, so they are NORMALLY confusing at times, which is why communication and boundaries are important to keep things on track.

Talk it out, get rid of the confusion, and get the relationship back on the track that you both want it to be on, or decide that it's not going to work and end it.

[Asker]

yeah talking is the thing... it's so hard... either I'm all horny and melting to be with him... or we've just had sex and I'm feeling so high. I hate confrontation and I tend to get very emotional. I can also adapt myself to situations easily, and manage my emotions. but only afterward, not in the heat of the moment...

[MrOracle]

I get you, but avoiding the issue is never going to make things better, only worse. Make the effort ONCE to talk it out, deal with it, and THEN he can screw your brains out for you, and you'll feel better afterwards.

[madhatters4]

frankly I think just watching a movie probably means that he doesn't want to feel like the relationship is sex alone. like he doesn't want to JUST feel like a penis to be used. my thinking is that the movie just sort of makes him feel like a friends with benefits situation

if you have an issue with it; if you just want it to be sex, then say something

I gotta be honest though. I think you are in a dangerous situation. if you have feelings for the guy being his f*ckbuddy is going to be a hairy situation. one day when he says he's done even though you say you don't want a relationship you will be hurt. simple as that.

[Asker]

you're right... I'll be hurt... I like him so much :( :( but I also tend him to use him as a penis and don't see any need for movies, as it could be all about sex and cuddling all the time :P Even if 90% sex if fine for me... I do have feelings :( and that's what makes it so nice and scary! Sometimes I think I should just get myself a parallel casual fuckbuddy, so that I don't get too involved... but... idk...

[madhatters4]

haha that parallel friends with benefits might work. If you only want sex or want to cut out the movies, just tell him sort of what your expectations are. it may be tough for him to hear but considering the relationship you have it's fair

[Asker]

I just like the movies because I like to see that he enjoys my company and not only sex. So I don't really want to cut them. It's so confusing... he'll hug me all night along while we sleep but then won't give me a goodbye kiss before he leaves... baaa I have to talk because I'm getting mad :P

[madhatters4]

You're really in a tough situation because you want something you don't actually want. you want it to be purely physical but you also like him. you want his attention, affection and to some extent his companionship (hence wanting to see that he wants to watch movies with you)... I think it's a really grey area that you should try and sort out with him. what you two really want, what is feasible and not etc

[Asker]

I couldn't have expressed myself as well as you did :P That's exactly it... thank you :P I'll have to be tough and talk to him asap!

[madhatters4]

it's one of the reasons I knew I could never do the f*ckbuddy thing. I've had one and it was with a girl who I had no attraction to outside of the physical. in fact I hated everything about her but her physically as bad as that sounds... but I knew I couldn't manage not having feeligns for a girl in most situations... good luck! interested to know how it pans out

[Asker]

i feel so silly... i can't behave like a grown-up and have the talk :P I see him melting when he's with home, with a huge smile, hugging me almost until I can breathe (lol)... and simultaneously the physical attraction... and then more cuddling and hugging me all night long and touching me and smelling my hair whenever he wakes up... hmmm i'm afraid of waking up from this perfect dream... I'll update if it all goes wrong! :P :P

[Asker]

it's starting to go wrong... He told me he would be open to have something serious if he fel for someone, but that he is quite content with our arrangement and is not actually looking to be with someone else... he's just open... as a result i started being less available to him. He calls me more as I'm rejecting 30-40% of the times, but much less sweet when we're together. Sometimes a bit rude! My friends (girl and guy friends) think we kind of like each other but I'm much more into him (like totally in love)... but that he also likes me because he laughs with my lame jokes and sometimes has really shiny eyes when talking to me... Now I'm wondering if I should keep him around while looking for the next arrangement, going on sporadic days with other guys to keep distracted while I continue with him, parallel fuckbuddy, breaking up... or trying to make the arrangement nice as it was... baaa I'm sad!

[madhatters4]

I think you should cut him loose. the whole situation is only going to get murkier

[Asker]

i was hurt. he got a gf while i was away, didn't tell me anything... blabla. asshole. when he was drunk he would still text me that he missed or sth like that. until the day i lost my patience and told him to just fuck off and that i had found a boyfriend (i hadnt, i just wanted him to stop sending drunk text messages)

[Anonymous]

It is if you both are honest with your feelings.

Me and my fuck buddy started off just having strictly sex.

Then years later, he wanted to take me out , to have talks with me, etc.

He told me was catching feelings.

We were both honest about that, but he respected it could never be.

[Avraham]

Honestly I would ask him. Despite what people like to think 'fuck budys' often develop feelings and turn into something more, in my experience any way. Plus count your self lucky, do you know how many girls would want a guy like this and how many guys would want a girl like you? I mean damn you got the perfect set up even if he does want a relationship.

[Asker]

yeah... I know... I like him too much and I guess that if I tell him about that, I'm going to be too emotional (that's who I am) and cry and everything and make him feel scared... I don't mind the label, I could even accept some level of non-exclusivity... but I'm terribly afraid of ending up feeling like just the sweet and horny girl that he can bang whenever he wants... But then he had a nightmare that sth bad was happening to me tonight and he was all worried about me...

[Avraham]

It really does not sound like just fuck buddies... not that I have had much experience with casual sex it sounds like he wants something deeper.

[Longshot]

Any relationship can be second guessed forever. Why don't you talk to him.

[Asker]

because I'm gonna cry and don't want to seem needy :P then he'll think that I want a serious relationship, and that's not what it is about... it's about feelings, not labels or huge commitments...

[Longshot]

You are trying to separate feelings from commitments. Not simple to do.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He's a fuckbuddy and you're worried you're just being used for sex? Seriously?

[Asker]

ofc I like sex for the sake of sex. I'm just worried because there are certain things that seem a bit outside of a pure fuckbuddy arrangement... and I think he shouldn't do them if he doesn't feel anything at all for me, because it's leading to feelings on my side. I'm all for wild sex anytime of the day and no compromise, but if he starts having romantic sex, wanting to watch movies, and cuddling all night long until he can't feel his arm... I start getting feelings too...

[UlsterScot]

Your update doesn't match up with his behavior. It sounds like he loves you. If you don't want that, end your FWB arragnement as soon as possible because it will hurt him more the longer it lasts.

[Asker]

ohhh I like him to pieces... I'm always sending mixed signals on purpose... but I definitely like him very much and have been thinking about him non-stop for months...

[UlsterScot]

Sounds like you have backed into a satisfying relationship. Don't label it. Just do what you feel. Maybe you don't desire to be in a relationship because you associate angst and protocol to them. Well, here's one without either. Lucky you.