My boyfriend won't cum when I give him head?

[Anonymous]

So I've been with this guy for a little while now. When we first got together he hadn't done anything beforehand (was his first kiss.) Well a couple weeks ago I gave him head twice, one time lasted 25 minutes, the next 35-40. Both times he didn't finish. I don't believe I'm bad at it, because I've done it to guys that have received it and have had sex on numerous occasions, and they all finished with in 5-15; plus I've been told im quite good at it. I pretty much gave him a hand job on the part of his dick I couldn't fit in my mouth, and did a bunch of little 'tricks' but he still didn't. Do you guys have any clue what it may be? And any suggestions on how to get him to finish quicker?

[UlsterScot]

I answered a similar question up above. I'll copy my answer here, as I think it applies.
The best F on M oral is not oral alone. It is hand-and-oral.

The penis has two distinct regions that respond to different "inputs". Our cap is the equivalent to your clitoral bud, urethra and also the ring of nerves at your vaginal opening (why tearing the hymen hurts so much). As with you, they are very sensitive to touch. Everyone knows that about the bud and the vag opening, but try fingering your urethra some time during masturbation. You will probably like it as well. So our cap responds to sucking, licking and probing just as those lady parts do and they can be over-stimulated to negative effect.

The shaft of our penis, roughly the interior of your vagina beyond the opening is not so sensitive to touch as it is to pressure and motion. why a wide, stroking penis may not bring you to orgasm but simply feels "nice". For me, the top side of my penis has little sensation. But, especially at full erection, the underside is more sensitive, particularly the half-round "vein". As best as I can tell, the vein transmits waves of sensation to the prostate, inducing it to load from the seminal vesicles and bring about ejaculation. When I masturbate, I get to full arousal/erection more by attention to and near the cap. But when I am on the run-up to orgasm, I stroke the shaft rapidly with a moderate grip attending to the vein with my fingertips and do little with the cap which has become very sensitive.

With a hand-oral finish, I get the best of both; gentle sucking at the cap to keep arousal high and rapid stroking of the shaft to "call down to the prostate" to load and ejaculate. Maybe this explain why your guy need both. Your question suggests you did this, so my suggestion is that you go to straight sucking at cap for the run-up to orgasm to avoid over-stimulation and stroke very quickly with a moderate grip applying pressure to the vein with your fingertips.

[Jonny_]

Could just be him... I'm like that, same actually goes for sex... either way it wasn't uncommon for me not to orgasm. It's not anything to do with what any of them had done, in fact i've had some great sex in my life. But it's just my own body, there is times when it just doesn't want to.

[Asker]

Thank you.. Was just trying to get some input on the situation. I was thinking possibly he just doesn't like receiving it? I know that kind of odd for a guy, but I personally don't like getting ate out. So who knows I guess.

[Stacyzee]

He probably really enjoys the blow job you give him.
But I find there are many reasons why a man is unable to cum that way.
Some reasons being...
A) He is used to satisfying himself (the only way he can get off is if he were to jerk himself off). (Can't even cum during sex).
B) He is on heavy medications (which is causing a damper).
ETC.
I can only speculate.
But the only way you will really know is to ask him.
You shouldn't feel scared or embarrassed to bring that up.
If you are having any type of intercourse with someone,
you should feel comfortable enough to even bring up topics that may be sensitive.
Good luck!

[Asker]

I would ask him what he likes, but as stated he's never really done anything before me. He's asked me what Id like, but he said he wouldn't be able to respond because he really doesn't know.

[Anonymous]

Because he hasn't had much of any experience I really believe its the combination of nerves and lack of familiarity with bjs. I bet with practice it will happen. Sometimes my bf purposefully delays them because he'd rather of sex or not get messy so it could be that too. Maybe he's self conscious about where he's suppose to cum (you're mouth, body, tissue?). I know for me I haven't learned how to cum through oral...'cause its not exactly something I can teach myself. Next time just ask him during if it feels good, he might feel more comfortable giving you direction once you ask.

[Asker]

He told me if it felt good if it felt good, like at a certain point he semi-moaned "whatever your doing, keep doing that." and he said on numerous occasions that he came close, but it just like went away.

[Opinion Owner]

Though rare, sometimes too much stimulation/intensity etc can cause a guy to go soft. I still just think it's nerves. Next time I would just start with whatever it was you were doing that he said felt good and stick with that with very little to no change. Too much change can through it off too.

[burn27]

Its a mental thing, nerves, and just not being use to having his dick in a girls mouth. I was the same way at first and then my gf started exaggerating everything, making more sound while sucking on it and also wetter/slightly messier. I am a very visual person, so seeing her really suck it and get it really wet made cum so hard and I typically can just about full a shot glass when I finish. She took it like a pro hahaha. Just give him regular blowjobs so he can get more comfortable with it.

[Neurath]

It's a mental detachment from the physical act. He is mentally focussed on you and not what you are doing. It is self-consciousness that prevents ejaculation. It's how men can perform for hours keeping their wood hard and not ejaculating.

Usually this involves unsexy images in their mind but the physical presence of an overpowering stimulus can also cause this.

[palek]

This is a question that's best-suited to be asked of your parents.