How can I get wet without foreplay?

My boyfriend doesn't need foreplay to get an erection, he's always ready for sex in a second. The thing is, it takes a long time for me to get wet, and he found himself forced to do long foreplay. I feel selfish for imposing him this so... is thee any way to get wet without foreplay? I though about using pub but... it might hurt if I'm not exciting... so I'm kind of lost
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Most women are like you and need at least 5-10 minutes of foreplay before getting down to business. It's completely normal and something your boyfriend should be able to understand and accept, as it's not something you have a lot of control over. As many have pointed out already, the female and male genitals are completely different. The penis is pretty much always ready to go and can become erect within just a few seconds, while the vagina needs some more time to produce and "release" the vaginal fluids that'll make sex less painful.
    In my opinion you should talk to him about it if it really bothers you/him this much. It's not selfish of you to ask for a little foreplay since it makes you feel good and will make the sex more enjoyable for the both of you (no pain, no him feeling guilty because he's causing you pain etc.). Sex without a little foreplay is boring to be honest, at least if you skip the foreplay step EVERY time you have sex. Foreplay is like the build up before the finale. It's supposed to be enjoyable for the both of you. So try to have at least 5-10 minutes of foreplay before. If you need more time, you could always combine it with some lube.
    But honestly, skipping foreplay altogether is stupid. It should be fun, it should get the both of you excited, and most importantly, it should prepare you sufficiently for having sex. Foreplay is important, and if he finds no joy in doing it... then I'm kinda questioning how much he actually cares about you. Most guys who care about their girlfriend actually get turned on by pleasing her, and foreplay is just as fun to them as it is to the girl.

    • Also, foreplay doesn't just mean him touching your clit for 20 minutes. I can understand why he thinks that's boring. Spice it up a little. Have longer makeout sessions, do a lap dance for him, grind a little, tease each other... doing loads of different things will definitely get you wet quicker than just doing 1 thing all the time, every time.

  • Well in my opinion he should be a little more considerate and I would love to go on and on about how neither of you should be rushing and he should take his time, but because that isn't what you asked I'll give you some other tips.

    Why not go down on him for a minute or two to get his wet, and then have him go down on you for a little bit and your area will be wet as well. This way you have lubrication to start, and more often than not you will start to get more wet as you get going.
    Or just use lubrication. But you guys really should take your time and not just rush right into sex. That can make it uncomfortable for you.

    • thanks, he doesn't do oral sex but I'll try blow job and lub :)

    • He doesn't do oral sex? That doesn't seem fair :( it sounds to me like you're doing all of the work and he has no regard for your pleasure. You might wanna talk to him about this cause I doubt he would like it if the tables were turned! Good luck, doll!

    • He doesn't like it but I can't force him, I like blow jobs so I'm not going to stop myself just because of that. When women don't like blow jobs, men don't force them so... it's normal. He pleasures me during sex, he's just not a foreplay guy.

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  • The female and male body work completely differently.
    A lot of men (especially young men), can get "up" at just the thought
    of great sex or even someone visually attractive.
    Women on the other hand require more touch.
    It shouldn't be a chore to him.
    Part of his pleasure should be to return that favor to you.
    -I suggest doing 69
    so both of you are pleasure each other at the same time.
    -Making out
    -Fingering you (touching your body) caressing your breasts.
    etc.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Many guys are always ready for sex in a second.
    -Most guys don't mind foreplay at all. I even like it as much as penetration.

    Then there's your mind too.
    -Did you try naughty ideas? Even naughtier ideas? Ideas about fantasies you wouldn't dare to admit you have, not even when posting anonymously on another site.
    Did you try looking at random guys (maybe girls too, why not) you meet, thinking about what and how they'd be and look when things get very hot with you?

    Try it a few times. In the street, on the subway, whereever. Just let your dirty mind wander and be naughty.

    • Asker, having to touch a woman's clit for twenty minutes before being able to have sex is nowhere like torture. It's part of sex. Part of the game. It's hot for a guy to arouse a girl.
      Good sex is not 'Jump and bump', it's like playin' guitar or banjo on your body. A musician loves to play the instrument: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5fpsZ6DumA

      An experienced lover will give you a first orgasm with his fingers or tongue before he gets his own.

    • A little fact for you: I got erections just from dancing closely with a girl, even with a girl I didn't like particularly. And some girls took a distance. Others started to dance even closer.

  • "My boyfriend doesn't need foreplay to get an erection, he's always ready for sex in a second" - not your boyfriend... all men are like this
    "it takes a long time for me to get wet" - it isn't not you... all women are like that...
    "he found himself forced to do long foreplay" - he is selfish... is it a burden? isn't foreplay enjoyable for him? are you going to get yourself aroused by yourself for your boyfriend? for real? better change your bf...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You're just having a natural female sexual response. You're not selfish, and he may enjoy giving you foreplay. Lube can help, but foreplay's half the fun - why deny yourself that?

    • I love foreplay... he just gets bored easily and I don't want to impose myself, he already does a lot.

    • It's not an imposition to a guy who cares about your needs. IJS.

    • He cares about me but imagine having a big erection and having to touch a woman's clit for twenty minutes before being able to have sex. it's like torture

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  • Your brain is not being stimulated sexually instantly so obviously it's not sending messages to your vagina to be lubricated automatically.

  • Lube. Isn't that the fastest. simple answer?

  • "My boyfriend doesn't need foreplay to get an erection" that's all guys. They get hard after making out for 0.5 seconds. He may not need foreplay to get an erection, but trust me he needs it if he wants to have sex unless he likes dry vagina.

    You aren't selfish. HE is if he's not willing to warm you up. I mean foreplay doesn't take much it can be fun for both parties if you do it right. Sex isn't all about him it's about both people and I mean if you think about it lesbian sex is 80% foreplay, so it's definitely required.

    I actually wanna say dump him if he's not willing to take his time for you.

  • he's the one that sounds selfish to me.. why dosent he just do it. he can't just stick it in you when ever he wants. that the least he can do if you haveing sex with him...