Sexual Relationships
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Boyfriend slept with a prostitute while we were on a small break?

My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. We broke up briefly because he moved to another town that's 3 hrs from me and since I am in school and i can't move with him until I am done. He came to visit and while we were at the hospital with his grandma. I noticed he had condoms in his wallet. I asked him flat out. If he had slept with somebody else while we were on a break and he responded no. I was still a little suspicious of to why he would have them since him and I don't use any. Two weeks after that he came down to visit again. I had a nagging feeling was still in the back of my mind about the condoms he had. I woke up in the middle of the night and I end it up going through his phone. To my shocking surprised I found some messages that he was soliciting services. When he woke up.. I showed him and I inquired what he had done. He never admitted to the prostitute thing but he did admit to sleeping with someone else. I don't know what to do. I have lost all respect and trust for him and I don't know if I can ever get that image of him with another person let alone if it was a prostitute. I know we were on a break , but it hurts to know he went to those measures. Any advice if I should stay or go? I feel dumb asking this question on the forum. Thanks much.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think its the principal of it. Yes TECHNICALLY he didn't cheat on you but is technically really ever good enough? Dont you wanna know yur with someone who loves you enough not to do that? And by that I mean someone who wouldn't have wanted to have sex with another girl because even though he and his girlfriend are on a break she is the one I love? Think about it, its the principal, he got the opportunity to cheat without it technically called cheating (there's that word again) and he took it, npt only did he take it he had the ordasity to lie about it also. What if you haven't looked threw his phone? Do you think he would ever tell you? And if you had the opportunity to do the same thing, would you? And why? I think too much times we as people settle for something because its ok or its not bad. But really we deserve the best, you deserve the best. Dont ever settle especially in love. In everything in life thats fake dont let love be one of them. Just my opinion. )

    • Thank you for you comment... he said supposedly that he wanted to tell me because he felt bad that he lied to me at the hospital , but he didn't know how to tell me.. and of course that famous line "we were on a break" so technically it wasn't cheating. I told him I know guys deal with breakups different than us , but to do that. I could of have but I chose not to. Thanks again! I appreciated :)

    • I agree with this... was going to write basically the same thing... if that happened to me I'd dump him... if it was a break I'd hope my BF loved me enough not to sleep with another woman... you deserve better

  • HE lied to you, I think that is reason enough to call things off. But technically he didn't do anything wrong other than that. He had protected sex while you two were broken up.

    in my opinion you can take him back if you want to. But I wouldn't because he lied. Surely you can date someone closer to you. And you should be focusing on school anyways. We do not have a shortage of men in the world. There is ALWAYS time for romance. At your age, the opportunity for a career and education are small.

    Ageism in the workplace is HUGE, once you hit 40, its going to be hard to find a job.

    • Thanks for the comment. Working on my bachelors degree and it's a 2 year program and my job is paying for it. If not I would of moved. But will see what happens. Thank you! :)

    • No problem! That is great to hear! At my job, they don't pay for your education, but they reimburse you. Good luck to you! I'm sure everything will turn out fine! :)

  • If you have lost all respect and trust for him then it is over! However when couples go on a quote "break" a good many of them never get back together so why would you not think they would begin having sex with others. I guess if this break was only for a short few weeks I might see your point, but if it went on for a month or so well I can see his point for wanting some pussy!

    • The break was only for about a week in a half.

    • Yea I'm thinking he is gone!

Most Helpful Guys

  • i must say it's complicated and you had no right to go through his phone. That's a no no. You are on a break though you still have the right to feel cheated.
    I was in the same house when my girl was banging with an idiot. You can't imagine how it feels to know that while your standing there, she's taking someone's dick between her legs. Plus that idiot started bragging left and right about what happened and how it happened and VERY intimate details to me. Had no right to say anything, yet i had the right to move on and leave her with the douche. But still knowing those things took a toll on me.
    So be thankful "he slept with someone else" is all you know and you don't have details about it, because it would feel like the end of the world. my advice right now is stop trying to find out MORE because it will hurt. move on. He basically proved that whenever there will be a hurdle in your relationship he'll find the easy way out.

    • i demand to know Who voted me down and why? :P. Honestly what was wrong with my answer... whoever that was... if you read/see... i want to know

    • Lol it wasn't me.. there was nothing wrong with what you said. Thanks for the comment and advice!

  • Honestly, the term "break" is almost always a relationship that is going downhill and just taking longer than usual. In his mind, on a break he's free to do as he wants because he considers himself single. But in your mind, you're obviously wanting it to get back together.

    I would personally avoid any sexual activity with him even though he used condoms. You never know if he maybe even performed oral on a prostitute or something which has STDs involved too. Oral's one of the things people never use protection for. Plus, a lot of prostitutes are raising money for a drug habit. So if he's hanging out with a prostitute, who knows about the drugs that could potentially involved. Plus, it means he feels women are objects to be purchased pretty much and he'll probably go around calling dating a legal form of prostitution also.

    I also think you should just let him be and not get back together with him at all as well.

    • Good point of view.. thank you for your comment.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If u have no respect or trust for him let his ass go. having sex is one thing but with a prostitute? if you fuck around and have sex with him again no telling what you might get. I wouldn't have asked if he had sex with someone else bc when ur on break u can do what u want... however a prostitute? STDs are an epidemic and some of them can kill u.

  • Sleeping with a prostitute is totally shady, plus I don't see how you were broken up if you were planning on moving in with him. I'd break up with him. If you can't trust him there's no basis for the relationship.

    • We took a break because he didn't think I would have enough time to see him and he knows my school, gym and work keeps me pretty busy. So he wanted to break up until I was done with my 2nd degree that i am currently seeking. We decided to give it a try and agreed on seeing each other twice a month and taking turns traveling. But now since that took place. I have my doubts to even continue with it. I agree without trust there's no point to it. Thank you for your comment. :)

  • You should probably go. You don't trust him. The relationship is doomed.

  • You are going through his phone and investigating him, it's time to get off the crazy train and end the relationship.

  • I don't really see the point of 'breaks' anyway. If you feel like going on a break, the relationship is dead anyway.

  • You broke up - you have zero proof that he met with a prostitute, but you're all totally ready to hop on a suspicion. You have zero trust, and you go through other peoples phones to look for things they did WHEN THEY WERE SINGLE.

    There is no way in hell you should be in a relationship.

  • You got to the point where you took a break in your relationship, he had sex with someone else to your disapproval, he lied about it to you, you snooped through his phone, you feel like he went "below" you with a prostitute, you've lost all respect and trust with him, and you don't sound like you can come to terms with what he did while you two were split up.

    Yeah, doesn't sound like a very peachy relationship to me.

    • The only reason we took a break was because he didn't think Long distance relationship works. But we decided to give it a try since he is only 3hrs away besides this thing that happened when we weren't together. We had a good relationship without a doubt. I actually thought this was out of his character to do that. Thanks for your opinion though.

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