Why doesn't boyfriend like me trying to give him a handjob or a blowjob?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship. We are taking things fairly slow, with no sex yet (now dating for 5 months), but we are taking steps and we do do other things. He goes down on me, as I think he enjoys it, and I really want to return the favour. Not just out of reciprocation but I guess I'm a sexual person that likes doing more than just kissing. However, I'm inexperienced and so when I say that I'd like to go down on him and give him a blowjob, I tell him to guide me by saying how exactly he likes it. First he refuses several times and when I insist strongly he kind of reluctantly gives in, not seeming very happy. Then he tells me what to do, with things like 'do this with your tongue', but after less than 5 minutes he tells me to stop. I've told him that I don't mind him telling me and that I really am eager to learn how to please him, but he kind of awkwardly backs off. Normally he''s very sexually mature and has slept with many women before. Don't get this behaviour and don't know how I am supposed to move on. I want to please him but he clearly doesn't appreciate it.

[MrOracle]

The only person who can really answer this question is your boyfriend. You need to sit down with him and talk about this, and tell him how you feel and ask him how he is feeling.

But, I can give you some examples of things that people have told me in similar situations. One or several of these could be the reasons he is apprehensive, or it could be something else, but here you go:

- He's embarrassed about his penis/genitals for some reason. Maybe he's worried about size, or hair, or not being clean enough, or whatever.

- He's afraid he'll cum too fast, or in your mouth/on your face, and you'll be upset with him.

- He's afraid he won't be able to cum, and you'll be down there all night, until your jaw is aching and your mouth is dry, wondering what his problem is. Many guys struggle to orgasm from BJs.

- Connected with the item above, many guys aren't used to BJs, and the sensation is so different, and sometimes so overwhelming, that they can't relax. BJs feel fantastic, but if you aren't used to it, in can be really intense, and that can be too much for some guys to handle.

- He could be concerned that you giving him a BJ would make you "slutty" to others, or to yourself, and result in you feeling bad about doing it, and thus, about your relationship with him. (Giving your bf a BJ isn't slutty, but some people still worry/freak out about that stuff.)

- He could be obsessed with your "purity", and doesn't want to "soil" or "corrupt" you. Maybe he wants to marry a "pure virgin" or something.

Again, it could be one or several of these or something else entirely, but I've heard each of these from more than one source, so they are certainly all potential candidates.

[Redhi]

Mr Oracle hit every one of my thoughts, except one. Maybe what you're doing hurts. Teeth, braces, too much vacuum... all of it can hurt or at least greatly diminish the pleasure!

[letmeaskthis]

you said it... he's sexually mature... that's your answer... maybe he doesn't need a blowjob because he's mature enough... don't push it if he doesn't want it...

[nedesembilemedim]

sorry dude ı read why does boyfirend ^^

[letmeaskthis]

by the way what makes you think it will please him? maybe he enjoys going down on you more that receiving a bj...

[letmeaskthis]

oh i see...

[nedesembilemedim]

He just wanna sex with you, you aren't valuable person for him

[letmeaskthis]

lol... how the hell have you come to this conclusion?