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Oh I always want what I can't have.?

So after a recent epiphany I have become religious. And in doing that I know I need to marry a Christian guy eventually. Only I am scared that they will never be able to provide me what I need. I LOVE rough, dirty, hard sex.
After growing up in a Christian environment for my young life, that is not what you are taught. Not that we were ever taught sex was bad, just you know loving and gentle and an expression of love. Which that is all good, but I like to be f***ed. Am I just making assumptions?
Oh I always want what I can't have.?
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