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How to fix this? i need help...?

... i love my boyfriend very much, and we've been together a little over 3 months... but i recently have let him grind his tip with the lips of my vagina... and tonight... he pushed it in a little

i kept telling him not to go deep, not to go further... but he took my virginity... and now i can't stop crying, i feel broken, and he tells me "i'm so sorry, how could i do that to you.. i love you"

he cried harder than i did... i hate myself... i feel extremely broken and now i don't feel the same

i wanted it to be special.. i wanted it to be romantic and not for lust.. but because i love him and wanted to be closer.. but that wasn't it

help
How to fix this? i need help...?
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