Girls - Is a crush fueled by Sex drive?

[Anonymous]

Girls - Compare the sex drive behind a crush at age 18 (& above) vs. Age 14-17. Are your crushes at age 18 (& above) more fueled by sex drive and less innocent? I've had a good Senior year of high school and hooked up with a lot of girls. I noticed the girls who had a crush on me, that were 17 to 18 years old, were more intense during the hookup. Also the hookup happened faster and easier. Thanks!

[enigmatta]

(Don't want to generalize) but I think that below 21 your crushes may tend to be more sexual than anything else, because when you're in your teens and before you get serious about life (work, living alone, being ready to settle down), you want to have fun and enjoy the other person without really having to cope with their flaws all the time. Once you realize what you want in a grown-up partner, you will crush on people that are both attractive and kind/hard working/independent/smart, because it was cool to hook up and crush on whoever before, but when you're serious about being with someone you start seeing that beauty is not attractive enough.

A very handsome guy has a crush on me right now, and I could say I like him, but he has no ambitions, he's not mature enough, he didn't study anything, he's okay with small jobs and has no other interests. He's 29 and I'm 26 and at this age and time I don't feel like pursuing someone who won't offer much in the future. You may not control who you crush on, but you have to use your brains to know that it won't work or that maybe you really wanna have sex and nothing else. On the other hand right now I could crush on someone more easily if I knew they are healthy, smart, have a sense of humor, and have dreams they are working on. Your definition of sexy changes.

Enjoy your age. Things will really change when you get serious with yourself.

[100klicksaway]

I think it really depends on the type of person you are and what your sexual drive is. Everybody has different types of personalities (meaning they are more/less likely to hook up with someone because of their body/face vs personality and vice versa) and sexual drives (more versus less sexual, started earlier/later). Also, people have different definitions of 'crushes'. A crush is generally an attraction to someone caused by chemicals in the brain. Girls tend to have different types of crushes, too: there are celebrity crushes (obvious), vocal crushes (where a girl is completely in love with a man's voice), body crushes (where she thinks he's hot), personality crushes (the chemical thingie, mostly. She likes his personality) etc.
So I wouldn't necessarily say that crushes ever turn more sex-fueled over innocent crushes. There is such thing as not actually having an emotional crush on someone, hooking up with them, and THEN developing an emotional crush. I think the crushes stay the same, but the level where a girl/woman is willing to do something sexual increases as she grows more confident with herself and her body.

[Asker]

So, have you ever wanted to have sex with your crush?

[100klicksaway]

Well yeah, obviously. They're linked, but they're still two separate things (a hormonal crush and sexual attraction)

[Asker]

Thanks for the info!

[biggie90]

A normal crush not a celebrity crush or weird crushes are ALWAYS caused by sexual attraction hence the chemicals in the brain. I've had stranger girls are school in college crush on me without knowing a thing about me other them looking at me in class or walking past me. Sexual attraction.

[100klicksaway]

Well, that's not actually true. If you want to use the dictionary definition, a crush is 'a brief but intense infatuation for someone, esp someone inattainable or inappropriate'. There’s an odorless pheromone that men release called androstadienone. This causes feelings of attraction, but they aren't necessarily sexual. Sexual attraction can depend on that, but it can also depend on something as simple as wearing a particular color. Your statement that a crush is ALWAYS sexual attraction also cuts out a huge slice of people who are either gray-a or a-sexual. Attraction in the context of AVEN refers to a mental or emotional force that draws people together. Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but some feel other types of attraction. Just because some girls thought you were hot in college doesn't mean that they have a 'crush' on you. It isn't always a sexual thing.

[biggie90]

Your statement that a crush is ALWAYS sexual attraction also cuts out a huge slice of people who are either gray-a or a-sexual. No I don't cut out a huge slice of the pie most people are straight not bisexual or gay or "asexual". And the pheremone thing is bs because a girl isn't going to be attracted to a guy because of that she needs to physically find him attractive. Every girl thats had a crush on me was sexually attracted to me and thought I was hot. Crushes are fueld by sexual attraction and desire to be with that person. I don't always think about sex with my crush either I just want to be with them more type of a thing but sexual attraction needs to exist in most crush cases. Unless I have a man crush thats not sexual its more admiration. My gf had a girl crush but it wasn't sexual thats different.

[biggie90]

And he says a crush is "brief" what is brief? I had a girl crush on me for almost a year so what by not being "brief" did that mean it was becoming more than a crush at that point? makes no sense its still a crush. I like to think of a crush as a pending relationship and it is a need and uncontrollable want to be with that person. People think only teens get crushes but no adults do too.

[100klicksaway]

See, your problem is that you're dealing with experiences that have occurred to you and you alone. You're not including the rest of the population in your analyse. You're making these opinions based on what YOU'VE felt and what the girls who've crushed on you have said they've felt. I'm basing my statements off of actual research done by psychologists and scientists, and therefore, I'm inclined to feel that it's a little less biased than your statements. Just because you "like to think" of one thing as something other than what it is, doesn't make it true. A crush doesn't always have to involve sexual attraction. It can start with sexual attraction, and it can end in sexual attraction, but it doesn't always have to be about sexual attraction, nor is it inexplicably linked with sexual attraction.

[100klicksaway]

Maybe because you're a man, you have different thoughts as to what a crush is. I'm not saying all men think like you, but skimming through the comments, men tend to agree that they ARE sexually attracted to their crushes, whilst women tend to agree that they have crushes on people they feel can take care of them and do right by them. I'm not saying that women don't ever want to have sex with the men they crush on, because that wouldn't be a truthful statement, but I am saying not all crushes are developed through a sexual drive/attraction, which was my entire point in the first place.

[biggie90]

It's also that girls hide in their sexual thoughts and desires ever thought of that? I took sociology class and women can't express their interests in sex without being labeled slutty. It's true. Sexual attraction needs to exist in a relationship plain and simple. And if a girl is crushing a guy she thinks is hot sexual attraction has to be present.

[biggie90]

What you're saying is that a girl can have a crush on a rich ugly guy just because he can take care of her lol. Maybe very few. Girls are just as shallow as guys and care about looks too. If a girl finds a guy attraction again sexual attraction will be place a romantic crush has sexual attraction girls thought it was cute that I was taller and they teased me and what not and its all fun when someone has a crush on you.

[100klicksaway]

Yeah, women hide their sexual thoughts and desires because society completely discourages them from it. I know several girls who masturbated when they were younger and then thought they were pregnant because they didn't get their period. That is how much society chastises women for being open about sexual behaviour. However, women can and do express their interests in sex without being labeled as slutty, it merely depends on who you're talking to and the sort of group of people you're around. I'm not denying that if a girl thinks a guy is hot and crushes on him, sexual attraction exists. That is true, I never said it wasn't. I am however still adamant on the statement that sexual attraction isn't necessary. I wasn't saying that a girl crushes on a rich ugly guy just because he can take care of her, that's called gold digging. YES, women can be just as shallow as men. Aren't we taught to be? The society that we as a general people live in are taught to over-glorify beauty.

[100klicksaway]

I'm still going to say, though, that a crush can exist without sexual attraction. When I said that a girl likes a guy who can take care of her, I wasn't even talking about money. Not everybody is super attracted to rich people because then they can get whatever physical things they want; I was talking about emotionally taking care of. Also, the second half of your second paragraph was unintelligible to me, so I'm not going to argue against it.

[biggie90]

Ok then if sexual attraction isn't necessary for a crush what differentiates a girl having a crush on a guy vs. having a crush on a girl (girl crush)? Romantic crushes exist because of sexual attraction plain and simple.

[100klicksaway]

The difference between a girl having a crush on another girl and having a crush on another guy is that one is romantic, the other is admiration. Saying that you have a 'crush' on someone that you'd never even entertain the thought of dating isn't a real crush. It's a sense of admiration and sometimes even adoration, but not passion or infatuation. Romantic crushes can involve sexual attraction, but they don't exist because of it.

[biggie90]

Without sexual attraction there would be no romantic aspect. If that were the case why don't straight guys have romantic crushes on guys? Why don't girls have romantic crushes on girls? Because there is no sexual attraction present.

[paintingtherosesred]

My crushes are fueled by a fantasy that this person could treat me kindly and respectfully. It's similar to how I felt when I was younger except it's more thoughtful, more about qualities I want in a man. When I was 14, I had crushes that felt like seeing the cutest rabbit or cat I had ever seen. That guy was just so handsome and cute, but then I found out he was not so kind and my fantasy would shatter (so I guess I did look for certain qualities besides looks in my fantasies when I was 14).

It's different for everyone.

[paintingtherosesred]

At 17, the crush I had on someone stemmed from a deep trust I had of him as a friend. I had no intention of dating him because he acted fine to friends but had commitment issues to girls (he didn't treat them badly, but he was a little strange on the emotionally side when it came to the girls he dated). I, personally, never had a crush on someone that was sexual. Crushes say a lot about what you want currently, I guess.

[Asker]

So you have never done something sexual with a crush?

[paintingtherosesred]

Nope.

[biggie90]

Crushes are almost always fueled by sexual needs and desires but its weird too because I find lots of girls sexually attractive but I only crush on select few maybe if I can see myself with them in the future then I might crush on them.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Well It depends on a person's style of loving cording to John Lee, these are ;

Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once
Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity (kindred to Philia)
Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative; pragmatic love with the purpose of achieving a common goal, as in a coalition
Mania – obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers
Agape – selfless altruistic love

and yeah my style of loving is Ludus, but everyone male or female is different.

[Asker]

That's deep.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

thanks I just discovered that on wikipedia a week ago

[Asker]

Have you ever wanted to have sex with your crush?

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

I've had sex with plenty of people I've crushed on

[blondfrog]

Yes of course

[Anonymous]

It depends on the crush, actually, not on the age I was at the time of said crush.
Some of my crushes, even now, are very innocent and make me giddy like a school girl... some I think mostly naughty thoughts about, haha! It depends on the man, truthfully. Some men, it's difficult to NOT think of them sexually, others... it takes time before I start thinking that way about them.

[Anonymous]

High school is high school. You are all babies.

Anyhow usually when I have a crush there is some sexual attraction but it's also combined with having an interest in the man. He seems interesting or nice or funny.

[biggie90]

When I have a crush on the girl same thing I can "picture myself with that person". It can't just be some random hot girl who's obnoxious.

[biggie90]

Although you can't always control who you crush on.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't think so. It could be as simple as the younger girls may have little to no experience while the older girls have done more and are more comfortable with their bodies and getting intimate with a guy.

[Asker]

So, have you ever wanted to have sex with your crush?

[Opinion Owner]

yes…almost always!!