Found out bf is getting erotic massages?

[Anonymous]

Hello, i still can't get over the fact that my boyfriend is getting erotic massage while he is away out of town with his friends. I found out through his massages on his phone and laptop while he was not around. I also asked him and told that i know everything about these places and how they work, it kind of surprised him a lot and he admitted he has been going there for hand relief! I am SO furious he says as long as there is no sex or emotions then it's not cheating, it's just a handjob, no emotions... BULLSHIT!!! i consider other woman seeing and touching him naked in a sexual way VERY intimate and unforgivable! those who say that it's ok because it's not sex and there are no emotions are bastards and would NEVER approve of their girl doing the same to other guys! I want to hurt him soo badly, any ideas?

[nyfan25]

I may be biased here because I think it would have been in everyone's best interest to just dump him, but I think now that you've sent him the video you should just end it. It will be less painful to you in the long run, because he will be out of your life faster. It's not good to sit around plotting and carrying out revenge. Make sure there are no ramifications of using your Ex in the scheme.

Although as far as "revenges" go, that was pretty good I have to say hahaha.

But if your only intention is to lead him on if you got back together, it's better for you personally to just discontinue it.

[islands7]

Well, the only way for his to understand anything close to what you feel is to... follow suit. Perhaps your morals won't allow you to go that far, but you can put up a pretty convincing billboard to make him believe it. Only then can his mind begin to revolve around you instead of his penis.

[islands7]

Don't you have a sexually liberal GF that could assist in this ruse? She could help invent the stories and jealousy needed to change his thinking from - my penis needs this - to - I don't want guys touching her

[CelticJonny]

I agree... and if she needs a penis to help with the revenge, message me!

[Turtleluv]

2 wrongs don't make a right. If you have to start playing revenge games in a relationship then it's over anyway.

[Asker]

Ok so you are saying that a place where a woman offers sexual services for money is not a brothel? what is it then? your and celticJohny's views are totally fucked up! you think it's not a big deal because the woman sees many cocks and she is trained to do it but you wouldn't allow your GF to do the same to other guys would you? what if i am giving handjobs to other guys other than my BF would he mind if it is not a big deal?

[CelticJonny]

No - I don't actually think that at all. If you've been loyal to him while he's away getting some chick to jerk him off... that's really not cool - I'd get rid.

[islands7]

Now you are talking turkey - your proposed new part time ruse would be much more to the point and he would be looking in the mirror much faster. Good for you, that's the spirit. Now how to sell him the idea that this is what you have been or will be doing... please write to tell us how he takes it!

[Asker]

I don't know what you are talking about sorry... it may be my language tough

[GirlyGirl11]

It sounds like that you think it's unforgivable, and he thinks it's no big deal. He will probably continue to do it.

Because, seriously, he could have just used his own hand.

I'm sure those services weren't cheap. And it's possible that it was more than a hand job.

If you stay with him, he can just cover up the evidence better, and subconsciously he will know that you put up with it before without leaving him. He may even branch out to more things just because you've put up with this.

[islands7]

These are typical HJ Happy Endings and these are gals giving thousands of faceless guys, not a brothel

[CelticJonny]

Absolutely islands, they're just professionals doing a job they're trained to do. They see dozens of cocks a day - it's really not a big deal.

[Turtleluv]

Totally agree with you GirlyGirl1. If you are in a relationship, unless you BOTH agree it's ok, only yourself or your partner should be getting you off. If someone else is getting you off then it's cheating especially if you are lying about. Cheating doesn't start with the physical it starts with lying and deceptions.

[lacelover20]

Ya that is not right. There is emotions invovled. Yours! If it was nbd he could easily not do it and he wouldn't habe hid it from you. Thats physically cheating he's getting turned on by another girl. That might not be wrong in his eyes buts its technically wrong because when you see couples in love you dont see there men going to get girls to give thwm hand jons like wtf? Id break up with him then and there

[Turtleluv]

If I used another guy to get me off it would be cheating. If it's just relief he would be doing it himself> he's a cheater and men never change. Decide if you can live with it or be done.

If it wasn't cheating he would have been upfront about it.

[Turtleluv]

Now that you've sunken to a new low of taping yourself cheating you might as well break up. You are just as bad as he is. Revenge doesn't fix anything. Or you are both idiots that deserve each other.

[BoundByCuriosity]

you could always go give someone a handjob, and see if he gets up set over 'nothing'?

[Asker]

I will do that definitely, i am excited to see his response...

[BoundByCuriosity]

@janine and OP. maybe you could combine the two ;) give one of his friends a hj before you exit said relationship. ahhhh my chaotic evil wizards hat feels snug today lol

[amandalauren]

Don't stoop to his level dump his ass and never look back.

[Rail2k]

Frankly most guys know that getting a handjob is obviously cheating, just like ANYTHING that is sexual in any way with someone else. Anyone argues this either knows they're cheating and is trying to cover themselves or is probably a troll just trying to get a rouse out of you like the guy you're referring to.

He obviously doesn't deserve you, so dump him and don't look back. Hopefully it'll teach him a lesson so he doesn't destroy his next relationship.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Just dump his ass off

[sammy_31]

Not normal and not okay, leave this dude!

[janine167]

He is disgusting. Drop him! If u want to hurt him then go out with someone he really hates after you drop him.

[Asker]

Yes i will do that.

[AndyWes]

Break up with him. Don't try to hurt him--you should only hurt someone if the ill is going to be so terrible there is no fear of reprisal.

[SandraSlip]

Well, just do the same with another guy, and then dump your bf. Shouldn't be so hard.

[CelticJonny]

There's nothing erotic about erotic massages and it's a great way for guys to release tension and the everyday stress of life. Besides, girls go to male gynecologists all the time and apparently that's not at all sluttish... same gig.

[Asker]

ok so its not erotic if a girl OTHER than his girlfriend sees him naked and touched his private parts? A gynecologist is a DOCTOR not a prostitute, we go to them for MEDICAL reasons dear... not for sexual reasons. You are such a Jerk and hope you stay single for the rest of your life. Would you let your girl give someone else a hanjob? no so get over it!

[CelticJonny]

So it's fine you choosing to have a man stick his fingers in you and massage your breasts, just because he's wearing a white coat - but when your man gets a woman to do something equally intimate you have a problem with it? If it was just MEDICAL you'd not have gone with a guy as a doctor when there are perfectly capable women! So stop being such a hypocrite.

[Turtleluv]

My doctor doesn't get me off. When I go to the doctor it's embarrassing and it hurts. There's NO enjoyment out of it what so ever. Don't compare going to a gynecologist to masturbating when you have NO idea what it's like. Going to a gynecologist is like having a doctor shove his finger up your ass.

[CelticJonny]

Sure thing Turtleluv, you just went with a male doc because you like his bedside manner? Look, it's pot kettle here, women can't claim the moral high ground here when they share the most intimate parts of their bodies with other men without a moments thought! - and fine you choosing to visit a male gynecologist and I'm sure no man is judging you... but equally don't judge any man who choosing to visit a female masseuse!

[musicbrain5]

Getting a gyno exam is so far from being sexy or anything like that. I dread it, and I have a female doctor. I don't know why guys think we all get off during those exams.

[CelticJonny]

Music brain - I've had this chat with 2 co-workers and both admit to enjoying their gynos pelvic exam! It's shaky ground for us men - especially when the woman chooses to have another guy 'handle' the examination. I'm sure there are some girls for whom they don't enjoy the experience... but equally, there are many who see it as a free pass in their relationship. Like I said, if a girl doesn't want judgement about their promiscuousness, why did they plump for a man?

[ColdFeet]

A male gyno is equivalent to you getting your prostrate exam or STI screening done by a woman. It's a very unpleasant experience... nothing erotic about it.

[musicbrain5]

That's only two accounts though, and trust me they are fucking weirdos if they are aroused by cold metal tools scraping the inside of the uterus. I'm betting that they just enjoy it because they're not getting sex from anywhere else. I've never heard of a woman enjoying that exam, seriously. I'm forced to go because it's important to have the exam but it's just the absolute worst.

[CelticJonny]

ColdFeet... like I said, maybe you don't but other women are quite open about it! and you can disagree all you like, but the reality is if a girl doesn't want us men assuming that you're going to doctors like www.sfgate.com/.../...how-he-conducted-2896811.php then don't choose the male lady doctor over the equally well qualified woman! (p. s. plenty of guys quite enjoy a finger in the arse!)

[Asker]

Listen, i have a FEMALE gynecologist so there is no reason for my boyfriend to be doing this is there? if he want's stress relief he should ask me otherwise i don't know why i am there for. Oh and you compare a doctor to a prostitute? a Gynecologist does NOT touch your breasts by the way. How would you feel if your gf would give a handjob to someone else? i am not a hypocrite because women do NOT visit doctors to make them cum unlike guys who visit these women to give then hand release! if you think it's ok for you to get massaged by these women then you should accept your girlfriend doing the same to other men! so you're the hypocrite here.

[CelticJonny]

Musicbrain, you're thinking smear test - the pelvic examination apparently involves the gyno putting 2 of his fingers 'deep inside' and having a extensive feel around (usually, apparently, involving multiple insertions and removals!)... was a very enlightening lunchtime when I found this out! - I'm an enlightened guy, but from that moment on I decided if my chick plumped for a male gyno over an equally qualified women I'd probably get rid! no matter how you try to dress it up... it's close to us guys visiting a massage parlor for an equally as intimate exam..

[CelticJonny]

If you have a female gyno then yes, you're not being a hypocrite at all and To be honest, if the shoe was on the other foot I'd not put up it! My point way more general against those women who're happy to go spread ready to be handled by their male gyno of choice (and claim that's all fine, as "he's a doctor doing his job" and "sees dozens of vaginas a day") then demand faithful and respect from us guys...

[Asker]

Oh ok now i understand! if that's the case then you shouldn't have been so generalizing since you don't know if my Gynecologist is a man or a woman! it's just that you are giving me an impression as if it's completely ok for men to do this since they relieve stress. I am so angry because there are tons of men who do this and think it's nothing while they don't tell their partners. And as you admitted yourself you wouldn't put up with the opposite so my boyfriend won't either!! he is such a bastard but he won't escape that easily.

[musicbrain5]

I know what the pelvic exam is, they do that to check for tumors and cancer and all that. Gynos don't usually examine breasts either (at least mine never has), that's usually done by a mammogram and a female radiologist. Usually when you see the gyno there is also a nurse present in the room even if the doctor is a woman, I guess to make sure nothing goes on.

My parents are both doctors and so I have heard all kinds of nasty stories about medical professionals behaving inappropriately with patients no matter what their gender is. Some doctors are just unprofessional creeps, like this guy who was sexually assaulting patients www.citynews.ca/.../

What if the patient is lesbian and getting examined by a female gyno? Should she see a male one in that case?

[Turtleluv]

CelticJonny where in my response did I say it was a man doctor. She's a woman. I chose not to specify her gender because guys like imagining a woman examining a woman. Thanks for falling for my trap, way to fit a stereotype. I refuse to let a man see me in that state because I would feel violated. With the way men act around women fully clothed I would not be able to trust one that's supposed to behave professionally with me naked. You obviously know nothing about women or sexuality, which is why you have such a limited, uneducated, view on the subject. And you keep stereotyping women about how they behave in a situation you've never been in?

[Turtleluv]

Oh and since you are so convinced a gyno is about sex... I beleive we can all agree that most women don't get of with penetration alone. For me I know it takes a lot more than a cold instrument, no human anything, all cold instruments. Also my husband used to go with me because I hated it so much. He would hold my hand and tell me I was beautiful. Not something I lied or hid obviously. I'd really like to talk to these women you say like going. No woman I know enjoys gynos or mammograms. They hurt! You have a very warped sense of sexuality. I feel sorry for any woman in a relationship with you because you don't understand basic female needs and obviously have no intention of learning them.

[CelticJonny]

Yes, I'm sure there are some health benefits of pelvic exams, though the probability of cancer and thus the value of the check is very low until you get older, just as there's some health benefits from a massages! From a man's perspective when a girl wants a male to handle these intimate exams (which usually do include breast exams too) you can't help but question why she plumped for a man when there are equally as well qualified women available... and for some women at least, those reasons are sexual! Look, for emergencies or operations most guys would want the first available lady doctor - regardless of gender... but for a checkup - there's something not quite right with girls who want a guy!

[Turtleluv]

Again you speak in absolutes when you don't know what it feels like and have never had one. You assume all women are one way. Why don't you actually go to a gyno visit with a woman. There's a lot more going on than cancer. Which you'd know if you did any sort of research. For women to get birth control they have to legally get one annually so that you don't have to wear a condom. That's just ONE additional example for them. And again my gyno has never touched my breasts, that's another doctor. I'd love to know where you are getting your assumptions. You are the perfect example for why so many women stereotype men. You are a won't listen to women about facts about their lives, you assume you know more about them than they do. You assume you know more about woman doctor appointments that you've never had. You're judgmental and actually sound like you hate women. I feel very sorry for you.

[Asker]

But isn't the purpose most important whether to decide if it is wrong or not? females don't go to gynecologists for sexual reasons, at least i don't, but men DO go to prostitutes for sexual reasons, therefore i consider the purpose a big factor. You sound like you don't consider getting lying to your partner about getting jerked off by those ladies a big deal as they do it to many guys, but it's different for women. You said you would get rid of someone who would would visit a male gynecologist, you need to think a doctor vs a whore, a clinic vs a massage parlor disguised as a brothel i wonder which is worse!

[janine167]

Male gynecologist don't finger us. What kind of comparison is that? We go for a medical checkup and not releave stress. Let him go find another way to releave stress.

[Asker]

Yes can't agree more on the last comment.

[CelticJonny]

Actually, men don't always go to prostitutes for sexual reasons! but you're right, you've not been serviced by a male gynecologist so the comparison is not relevant in your case anyhow! Dump him... then sleep with his best mate!

[Asker]

Thank You for admitting i am right! yes men rarely go to prostitutes to have a talk or for emotional reasons, but that happens rarely i believe. But i believe what you said about men using these places as a harmless method to relieve everyday stress is also not right! i don't know if you said that because you think ALL females visit male gynecologists or not but either way it's nasty! if you think your gf goes to a male gynecologist then you can ask her no find a female gynecologist! simple as that.

[CelticJonny]

Yes - absolutely... my partner isn't the type of girl who visits male gynecologists - if she was I'm not sure I'd want to be with her - as you have found out with your partner visiting female massage parlors!

[Asker]

OMG sorry but there are no male massage parlors that offer happy endings so he doesn't really have a choice like women do when they go to a gynecologist. And those girls do a lot more sensual touching all over your body as I've seen in a video i am sure you'll agree with me on that.

[CelticJonny]

Lets agree that in a relationship built on respect, both are unacceptable to the other party, irrespective of it being all ok in the mind of the guy/ girl sharing their body!

[Asker]

Yes that's true, although more females have problems with guys going to massage parlors than males have problems with females going to gynecologists, really not many men think like that and you are the first one who said this to me!! so i am shocked in a way, but at least you have some morals unlike most guys that visit these places!

[CelticJonny]

Ignorance is bliss for us men - but I totally changed after I found out what a check up actually involves! Now I honestly don't know a single guy whose happy with the idea of his partner wanting a man to do a routine checkup when there are perfectly capable women available - I guess to many guys it's just a question of respect, we know these exams are important but would a loving partner choose to needlessly sharing herself around with other men? really many of the same emotions as you're feeling towards your boyfriend now! (p. s. I also now know why so many men choose to become gynecologists - I'm amazed more normal girls aren't creeped out by the thought!)

[amandalauren]

Really you are. comparing women going to a mail gynecologist to men getting a hj by a happy ending massage parlor? Really do you know how stupid you sound right now? There is no please that come from goin to a gyno dr appointment and women go to that for medical reasons. Wow I guess you can't fix stupid. And people wonder why society is failing.

[amandalauren]

Pleasure**

[CelticJonny]

Amanda - read the other comments below! I personally know girls who're quite open about getting more than just a checkup from their male gynos! Maybe you may choose not to join those girls who 'queue round the block' for the 'world's hottest gynecologist' www.mirror.co.uk/.../women-queue-round-block-treated-3097519 - but if you do want a man handling things down there - you don't really have a foot to stand on if your man decides he wants another woman doing something similar to him!

[Jbgurl20]

Break up with the idiot

[Casper286]

Dump him. He clearly doesn't deserve you.

[26ukdude]

Well a massage is one thing, most massures are female anyway, but if it turns exual rather than sensual then its cheating, you go to be massaged to ease tension, not empty your balls. Well, some do but thats vrossing the line in a relationship. Handjobs are boring anyway, he can give himself one whenever he wants and he has you to do it as well

[DaCrownlessKing]

Drop his ass. Don't put yourself through this shit, you lost him already.

[kangaru2]

I wouldn't like it too, to me it is a form of betrayal even though there's no intimate session. I wouldn't want other women to touch my bf.
But please don't hurt him as by doing so you would become the second him.

For time being, you may give him the cold shoulder. And also, you may want to let him know you are very uncomfortable with such behaviour and reason with him to put himself kn your shoes, I doubt he like it.

[swimgirl235]

leave him someone who dosent understand your feeling is not worth it he needs to know how much he hurt you

[Genteellman]

Revenge is a dish best served cold. (-_-)

[Asker]

haha you discreet wrecker!

[GoldCobra]

Why don't you just satisfy him in the bedroom? Sounds like he could use a hand :)

[Asker]

Do you really think i don't give him handjobs? come on he gets everything, but he is one of the people who do it because it relieves their stress or whatever and don't make a big deal out of it at all. it got nothing to do with satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

I agree with him. I have a gf and I do the same thing. Its a normal and natural way to end a massage.

[Asker]

Reeally? does she agree with what you're doing? i am SURE she doesn't because you have NOT told her. How is that natural? just because penis is a organ? sorry but you're fucked up just like me boyfriend! its NOT a massage but a sexual service if you let the woman rub your genitals and see you naked, sorry but this does NOT happen at a LEGITIMATE massage parlors. Would you be angry if your girlfriend did the same thing to some other guy? please answer because that's what i have done recently. I can't believe there are men out there who think massaging someones genitals is normal... this includes the table shower

[Asker]

hope you're a troll...