So my ex wants to be friends with benefits.

[Anonymous]

We already agreed to it and named our conditions and stuff which we both think are good ones. We agreed not to be with other people physically or emotionally while we are fwb. We both still like each other and he expressed a fear of getting attached again. I'd like to get back together but the reason we broke up is he's going to college and he's afraid of commitment and something serious. I think we could totally work if he saw I can be just fun and not attached and clingy which is how I kind of was before. Our relationship got serious too fast which I think was the whole problem. He obviously missed me because he came back to me and started talking to me as a friend first. Its kind of my fault the friends with benefits thing came up because we have this undeniable sexual chemistry. Why do people say friends with benefits is win for the guy and lose for the girl? I don't understand. I guess I'm thinking "We won't be hooking up with any other people, we both still get the sexual fulfillment we had before, and I get him as a friend too." Honestly it would be just like our relationship before only without me texting him all the time and the pressure of the title. I also think since it will be so much like a relationship he may see that and decide to get back together because he really liked me and it scared him. I guess our friends with benefits wouldn't be like the typical friends with benefits relationship. The both of us really want to be friends but that sexual chemistry is still there and neither one of us want to let it go. Advice other than run please? haha. I just don't feel like walking away from this is an option at this point. I feel like I need to give it a shot, at least I want to anyway. I would like some opinions though.

[Blindness]

I think that you're setting yourself up for a huge amount of pain and confusion.

The reason FWB is bad for girls is that people can't pick and choose how their minds and bodies will respond.

When humans kiss, touch, cuddle or have sex, it creates chemicals and hormones in our brains and bodies. And those chemicals also create an emotional bond with our partner. And the emotional bond is usually *much* more powerful for women. So the guy gets the benefits of sex and affection. But the girl doesn't get the advantage of a stable committed man.

[insperatum]

Haha, hate it to break it to you but you're not friends with benefits.

If you've got the 'benefits' -and- you've got an agreement that you're in an exclusive relationship, then I think you're in is an exclusive relationship ;)

[anonclguy]

Hes going away to college and you're supposed to not be with other people physically or emotionally? Why? The point of FWB's is that they don't interfere with your opportunity for real relationships. You don't have an opportunity for a real relationship with this guy.

[Asker]

How do I not have an opportunity for a real relationship with him? We've been in one before and we could do it again right?

[anonclguy]

I can't imagine a guy wanting a real relationship with someone and then just letting it go like he did. Seriously. People in great relationships don't "take breaks."

[Asker]

Well I just noticed you said the point of fwbs is so that it doesn't interfere with your opportunity for real relationships. We both don't want a real relationship and if we did it would be with each other. Its just not possible for us right now because he's leaving soon. He thinks college will really change things. I see your point though. I guess its just hard since you don't know our relationship.

[Marrryyyyy]

agreed 100% with anonclyguy

[anonclguy]

Thank you :)

[Anonymous]

don't do it cause these never work and they always complicate things and

bring all ur old feelings back

[Opinion Owner]

And isn't that why you two broke up in the first place? cause of ur feelings for one another?