Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Am I off base in feeling offended by guys wanting to be given head?

I would never expect a guy to go down on me, maybe if he really wanted to but I wouldn't want him to. I feel its disrespectful to want someone to suck pussy or dick if they don't want to, unless they have a thing for it and actually want to. But I feel offended and it makes me feel queasy when a guy asks me to give him head or suck/blow him. I feel nasty at the thought and I feel like he thinks of me as dirty to want me to do that to him. And I dont want cum in my mouth. Sure if I liked doing that, its one thing, but I don't and yet guys expect head as something your gf should do to you. I feel objectified. And its not making love its like jacking someone off. It shouldn't be an obligation or something guys expect. I feel like a prostitute with the mindset of, "you blow me, ill eat you out" but instead of money, your exchanging sexual favors. I don't know if guys realize how sick it makes me feel and I want to cry sometimes when they ask, I feel like they wanna use me like Tissue. What goes on in your mind when you want a girl to blow you? All I can think is super horniness without a care for her and just using her to get off and no respect. :(
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I used to feel exactly the same.
    Now I can see wanting to perhaps in a close situation however I feel no different about it as far as being asked by someone who's not close enough to me to know ill do it when I'm comfortable. . If we haven't talked about it you do me well enough to expect it. I'm not sure if I'd mind bring asked if I cared deeply about the guy it'd totally depend on how if he did it respectfully etc.

    I don't think your feelings sound off considering how a lot if guys see women as you described and even some of the ones who think they r being nice have a really weird view about what being a woman means-which is your call as a woman not theirs.

    However I think it's unfortunate u haven't had a good enough experience with. Guy who DoES care and respect you.

    I think as long as u del weird it's safe to avoid it and when you're comfortable I'll change your mind or nah be it will never be something u like -that's ok just means you need a partner who feels same.

    Don't let pole tell you you feel wrong for feeling as you do.

    Feeling bad is diff than wrong and us not wring though for your sake b. you feel three things it wouldn't hut to see someone for support not for them to dismiss your experience/view.

    There's nothing wrong with u your Just uncomfortable understandably and if talking to someone can Help bring you peace - for it mean while DONT be bullied by bjs :)

  • You shouldn't do anything you don't want. But I do think you look at blowjobs the wrong way. It's pleasing someone you like. What's wrong with that? Do you really need to get something in return? Guys do many favors for girls in different ways and they don't always get something in return for that. And most girls do it. I don't know a single friend of mine that doesn't give blowjobs. So you have to know, if you really don't want to give him blowjobs while he knows most other girls out there will, you're going to need to keep him satisfied in another way. And replacing a blowjob isn't easy. Just saying...

  • No you are not. Never do anything you don't feel comfortable. I never blow a guy if I don't know him well enough. If he pushes you down resist and give Give him a smile. Before blowing a guy, tell him where you want him to cum.
    If he doesn't like it too bad. There is nothing wrong with what you described

Most Helpful Guys

  • You just have the wrong idea about sex, the role of a woman is in general to be submissive, and it most cases it should be pleasurable for her to feel that way, it doesn't mean she is less of a person because of it, she is just being a woman, and she should be proud to be a woman. She has a hole he has a spear, the men f*cks the women, not the women f*cks the men. It is natural. On the other hand you should never do something you don't want to. It is ok to be objectified during sex, and it doesn't mean you are not loved or that you are less of a person. There are girls that have been abused and I can understand that now their brains have bad associations, but I'm pretty sure that with effort any obstacles can be overcome in most cases.

    • Spoken like a Neanderthal!

    • Lol yes I have to agree deft_maiden

    • what's that?

    • Show All

  • I want to use her. I want her to do it willingly and be turned on by it, i want to feel desired by her and be seen as a sexual being.

    I also like giving oral to her, not as a trade off, but because i like pleasuring her, and like being used.

    So I don't feel bad for wanting it. If its something you don't want as part of your sex life, you need to find someone who also doesn't like it, or for whom its a very small element they can live without.

    To be honest, I could probably live with it being exceptionally rare if there were other sex acts that I was happy with, but it's unlikely I'd find someone who hated one but would be fine with everything else.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 10

  • You really have a lot of emotional hangups when it comes to sex - specifically oral sex.

    I can't really give you advice because your perception is the problem.

    If a guy is asking you for oral sex, it's because he wants the pleasure that comes with it, not because he thinks anything negative of you.

    • I do have a lot of emotional hangups about sex but what can I do?

    • You need to consider speaking to a professional therapist or psychologist about them and see if you can work through them. Not knowing the cause of your hangups, I can't offer solutions...nor am I qualified as an expert.

    • Cuz my first knowledge of bjs came from gays and child molesters both of who were in my family and both (yes and gays) molested family members so bjs are only negative to me

    • Show All

  • You shouldn't be offended, that is something that a lot of people like to get and receive. Its just another way to show that you want to please them. If you don't like it then that is your decision, and the guy will have to choose whether he needs that type of sexual activity in order to feel loved and respected and that you really want to please him.

  • No no no no no, that is uncalled for and grossly animal of them if they ask you and barely know you

  • I feel the same way.

  • I do not think prostitutes have the mindset of "you blow me, I'll eat you out".
    They'll rather say "it's $50 and without condom it's $100".

    Last week I read a comment from a girl saying that she'd give a bj to a guy she turns down. Kind of consolation prize for him.(or a way to 'save' her hymen)
    That shocked me much more than people giving each other mutual pleasure or guys who like to go down on a girl.

  • Not at all...guys need to be sucked at least once a day...its part of being a good partner.

  • You should never do something you are uncomfortable doing, however i as a guy enjoy and hope for it.it doesn't make me look at the girl any less

  • Do whatever you want, but BlewJibbers can open all kinds of doors for you. Jibbers == jewelry and relationship security etc etc.

    If you really feel that strongly about it I'm guessing something else is the problem.

  • Pretty spot on. The exchange of sexual favours though is welcomed as long as both parties are ok in doing so, but I also wouldn't expect it, but I do admit enjoying giving her head, x

  • Your attitude is primitive and prudish, and will vastly hamper your chances of ever finding a happy relationship.

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