The Concept of Virginity Does Not Exist

The Concept of Virginity Does Not Exist

Let's start at the very beginning. A lot of people believe that when a woman's hymen breaks it means that they are no longer virgins. As of now, according to society the belief is that hymens break due to sexual intercourse or doing the splits. However the hymen can break with us just living our lives and some don't break at all.

The hymen is a thin stretchy bit around the vagina, however it's not a barrier. Also, it doesn't necessarily have to hurt the first time someone has sexual intercourse, if they're careful. It's just a myth that a lot of people believe. The biggest thing about this is that hymens can heal and a lot of them are never even torn in the first place.

The Concept of Virginity Does Not Exist
In fact a study showed that 52% of sexually active teenage women had intact hymens. (You can check the Archives of Adolescent and Pediatric Medicine, March 2004 for the study report)

People just assume that an intact hymen means that one is a virgin. Which is completely not true and hence virginity exams are straight up sexual assaults and they don't even prove anything. Therefore the whole concept of virginity doesn't even exist as one cannot prove if a person is a virgin or not in any way.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "The concept of hymens proving whether or not a girl is a virgin is wrong" should have been the title of this post. It's a great argument against that, but has nothing to do with the actual concept of virginity. Just a method by which virginity can (not) be proven.

    • The point of the title is actually more of an afterthought to be honest. It's like since this is the case with hymens and since virginity cannot be proved at all, the concept that someone is a "virgin" is pretty much bollocks.

    • You can't prove I'm 24 years old. That doesn't mean I am or I am not. The idea that I'm 24 still exists and is valid, because I have to either be 24 or not be 24, even if there's no way to prove it. The concept of virginity as something that can be proven is not very stable (unless you count how they check for rape and such...) But that doesn't mean people are or aren't virgins. Your argument proves its hard to tell if someone is virgin. That doesn't mean that they are no longer a virgin or aren't one. It still exists, even if you can't prove it.

    • As a social construct, yes it does exist because people created it. However scientifically the 'state' of being a virgin cannot exist as there is no possible way to prove lack or presence of something known as 'virginity'. Just think about it. If no one can tell if one is a virgin or not, why should it exist?

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Most Helpful Girl

    • What even is a virgin, in people's minds? Are hot and heavy, very sexually active gay people virgins forever? What if a heterosexual person has repeatedly done "everything but..."? Do you still really consider that the same as people who have not engaged in much of anything but hand holding and kissing? The concept is just so vague to begin with. I support people who believe chastity is important to remain chaste. I think such people should still understand how sex, safe sex and birth control work. But ultimately, if it's against your values to have sex before marriage, or sex before love, then I support you in upholding your values. If you have made the decision to be sexually active in some way, I won't condemn you unless you're being abusive and reckless. Even then, I will just talk to you about contraception, safer sex, and having compassion for your partner.

    • Not it's actually very simple. Someone who hasn't had sexual intercourse.

    • @TheUglyMan So a very active lesbian would still be a virgin to you. Good to know.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm sorry but as a person who is a virgin you are completely wrong about the concept of virginity. The hymen is still definitely the 'virginity' skin of the woman. It's about how you chose to take care of your hymen. If your doing crazy things that can permanently damage and hurt yourself, then yeah, you can break and damage the hymen. They're talking about first blood through penetration of a penis. Which is very different than getting a blow to the private parts.

    "
    The hymen is a thin stretchy bit around the vagina, however it's not a barrier. Also, it doesn't necessarily have to hurt the first time someone has sexual intercourse, if they're careful." Not true at all. Women have many different hymen's and hymen strength and types. It depends on genetics, diet and nutrition. Everybody's hymen is not THIN. You can in-act tighten and strengthen it through proper exercise. It is a barrier, because it's designed to protect us from outside invaders, such as infections, bacteria, etc. The hymen covers most of the vaginal opening. Leaving very little space for our blood and blood clots to pass through. So unless you took a magnified mirror and looked inside your own private part, you don't know what your hymen really is, does or work for YOU. Yes, hymens have the ability to heal, BUT, it can still leave a scar like normal skin. The hymen is the physical aspect of what virginity means. However, being a virgin means being pure in mind, body and spirit. You can be a 'virgin' in body, but still be impure in mind and soul.

    • @btbc92, You appear to mistaken about some hymen facts. First of all, you don't have to do anything crazy to tear your hymen, and you certainly don't have to do anything crazy for it to *look* torn. Young women are not obligated to "take care of" their hymens to preserve virginity, because they hymen and virginity don't work that way. The hymen's appearance is simply no indication of virginity in any way, shape or form. It cannot be considered a "virgin skin" - that is simply a misunderstanding about how the hymen works. The hymen is not muscle, so it cannot be strengthened through exercise, in fact, it tends to stretch and become thinner over time. They hymen rarely covers most of the vaginal opening. In fact, it usually covers almost none of the vaginal opening really, it's just a bit of fringe at the top or bottom of the introitus for most women. It's not normal skin so it doesn't show obvious scars in the way you would imagine.

    • @MlleCake You need to get your facts straight, and stop promoting falsehood that gets many girls and women sick with STDs, infection and other health related issues. If your mom never told you to properly take care of your lady parts, then look, it's how she taught you. "The hymen is not muscle, so it cannot be strengthened through exercise, in fact, it tends to stretch and become thinner over time." Goes to show you need to really look at the facts. Where did I say that the hymen is a muscle? You cannot speak for every woman. You don't share every women's experiences. You can only talk about YOUR experiences. You cannot talk me how my hymen works, like I cannot tell you how mine works. Because I can very much assure you. Mine is THIN. And why? Because i exercised properly as a child. And as a person who took dance class when younger, we were even thought how to properly do stretches WITHOUT tearing your hymen! Goes to show you what you really know. Which is information told by

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  • Thank god no one is taking this seriously -__-

    We've already lost so much self-respect in the last year with trump and all... Fp

    Oh, the OP is 16 nvm no problems here everyone move and pretend it didn't happen she's going to be really embarrassed soon enough if she isn't already...

    • Aww... you think i'm embarrassed. How cute. Quite the contrary actually. I'm just a little dissapointed that 90% of the population has lost the ability to question and think. It's really sad to be honest. That's why it's pretty great to be a part of the 10%. (Also can you Americans please stop thinking that the whole world revolves around you. This has nothing to do with America, i don't know why you brought that up)

    • Read it again, I said you will be writhing in shame sooner or later unless you never grow up that is. Every 16-year-old kid thinks they are the only ones with a brain, the only one who has every thought of the most basic half-assed things but the truth is simply that if it looks like everyone else it's usually just "you" kiddo. Haha is it too harsh to say that for this century at least the world (does) for better or worse, for the most part, revolve around America? If you can't see that... well that's exactly what my government would prefer you believe >_> I don't even have to know what country you live in to know that it and likely your neighbors to have US military stationed nearby... after all, you speak English... Be happy people even bothered to comment on your childish failure of a question... can't even understand basic logic... Smh it's sad It is a relief you aren't American though I'm glad I guessed wrong... don't need more of these types... too many already

    • Alright you know what? Why not debate on the subject itself rather than putting each other down. Tell me, can you prove virginity? In any particular way at all through tests in a scientific way?

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  • I don't know what is misconception or myth about hymen was to make barrier for man or son of Adam or prove the eve was sterile or still in tact, then I must be one more informed or pervert virgins out there who know better then listen idea I am still "pure" virgin. I don't want to be one those fixed with pure status... I don't know if want to be, pure you have eat lots of eggs meaning you have high libido really, I am not sure... if that truth about virgins... virgins diet depends on what the ate in their youth... who they are and what they become. not general consensus or idea some guy said oh we know what virgins normally eat... lets get away from food lets head to what most virgins like, we all like overall animals, pink and flowers its pretty done deal that makes any woman a virgin at this point.

  • "the whole concept of virginity doesn't even exist as one cannot prove if a person is a virgin or not in any way"

    Disagree: If you have penetrative vaginal sex, you're no more a virgin.

    Definition of "virgin" (Google):
    1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.

    2. a person who is naive, innocent, or inexperienced, especially in a particular context.

    "virgin girls"
    2. not yet touched, used, or exploited.

    I trust Google more...

    • Can you prove if someone is a virgin unless and until you have sex with them or see them having sex with someone else?

  • Virginity is NOT about having an intact hymen. Not sure where you're getting your information from but you are wrong. Absolutely wrong.
    Virginity is based solely on whether a person has had sex, and it applies to both males and females. The only difference is that there is an unreliable means of determining virginity in females (the hymen), where no such means exists in males.

    Since some cultures/civilizations are less informed, they incorrectly assume that an intact hymen is an absolute indicator of virginity. Yes it can tear from exercise, and can remain intact after sex from a small dick. But these people don't know that.

    Also, your title is also kind of stupid, because you say that the CONCEPT of virginity does not exist. How does a concept not exist? If you know about the concept, it obviously exists.

    Virginity also exists because it is defined as a person who has not had sex. It has no tangible biological value, and only exists in the minds of humans as a concept, but it still exists.

    • You men do have a virginity skin on the tip of the penis if your an uncircumcised male and never had sex. It sheds after first intercourse or is removed during the procedure. know your history. "Since some cultures/civilizations are less informed, they incorrectly assume that an intact hymen is an absolute indicator of virginity. Yes it can tear from exercise, and can remain intact after sex from a small dick. But these people don't know that." Actually, no. Not true at all. Another misconception. It doesn't matter about the size of the penis, it's how it's done and whether or not she has a normal hymen or not, because genetics and nutrition. It is still an indicator, but it isn't the only indicator. "It has no tangible biological value, and only exists in the minds of humans as a concept, but it still exists." Wrong, you'll know when somebody cheats on you with somebody else or get an STD.

    • @btbc92 that's such bullshed

    • @btbc92 no

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  • I totally agree. It’s an archaic idea that has no basis in reality and is just a way to try to control and shame people’s sexuality and sexual choices.

    As long as people are free to make safe healthy happy and informed choices our society shouldn’t be pressuring people to keep or lose something that never existed

    • No what are you talking about? A virgin is someone who hasn't had sex before. Its that simple.

    • @TheUglyMan Oh, so now a lesbian ISN'T a virgin. You keep changing your mind.

  • Every guy knows your a product of someone's effort not least your own. He knows everything and anything costs time and effort if not tangible resources, and we have a limited stock of all these commodities. He knows if he doesn't incur the cost due to him for his conduct some one else will surely pay. So the dishonest will avoid responsibility and dodge accountability.

    He beds her while thinking of her loved one's and those who truly love her and smiles at his own dishonesty; yeah, nothing sadistic and malicious about that! Every guy knows how he wants his mum, sister and daughter to be treated, when confronted with that question, he will know shame or he will continue to smile.
    Every guy knows or is it that u believe he's only enjoying himself, unaware.

    If u refuse his advances he will remember u. Depending on his resolve he will proceed to get under ur skin, try to make u jealous etc... play with ur insecurities. Don't misinterpret; he's testing ur authenticity, which even he is unaware of doing so. Once he establishes that u will not cave into ur desperation and insecurities, he'll face u fully. Then when u choose to ask for ur rights, knowing, anything u lose for being true to ur self, u never had in the first place. He will be awed at ur integrity and orbit around ur flawless diamond like quality, if he was ever sincere in his pursuit of u. He will then trust u, knowing u will always ask for ur rights and therefore not cheat on him. Next step marriage. No more broken promises, no more hiding from ur self; freedom.

  • Good take. A lot of people are nitpicking your choice of title, but the main point you're trying to make is spot on.

    • Thank you! The point of the title is actually more of an afterthought to be honest. It's like since this is the case it hymens and since virginity cannot be proved at all, the concept that someone is a "virgin" is bollocks.

  • I see where you are going, but I think most younger people don’t realize what’s happening in other countries where if the hymen isn’t present, girls are ostracized or even stoned to death for being sullied. There are some cultures who do realize this, but go an extra step as to do genital mutations and fuse the outer labia together. The husband gets to snip the new bride’s labia apart on their wedding night. They’re supposed to wait until the bride heals before sex, but not always, ergo, many die from infections

  • Virgin = Someone who hasn't had sex.

    Yes, it does exist, you are born having not have sex and then at some point you have it. That is a measurable change.
    Should we put so much importance on it? Maybe not, but it still exists as a concept.

  • Virginity does NOT equal with intact hymen you can say that, but you can't say the whole concept of virginity doesn't exist.

  • When I think of virginity I think of wether a person ever had sex before with another person. If they didn't: they're virgins, if they did: they're not virgins.

    • Yes, but how would you be able to tell if a person has had sexual intercourse or not? Unless you do it with them or watch it actually happening to that person with someone else there is no way that one can state if one is a virgin or not.

    • You ask nicely

    • People lie. What do you do?

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  • Just... no. So much bullshit,

  • Yes it does...
    Virgin is someone who's never had sex with another person. Simple.

    • Yes, that's the idea that's been portrayed into our heads. But scientifically speaking can one actually prove if someone is a virgin or not? How would you tell?

    • Why would anyone have to prove anything (especially nowadays)? It's a personal matter, one no one else has to know about... It's no one's business but your own.

    • Have you never heard of virginity tests? women are at times forced to show government officials that their hymens are intact. if they don't they can be denied jobs, barred from making rape accusations and even thrown in jail. According to that it's a lot of people's business.

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  • To me, the standard for virginity is whether someone has had vaginal sex.

    • So, if it's just butt-fucking, everyone involved is still a virgin.

    • Not for gay guys, obviously, but they aren't the context here. I don't know about you, but I've never had just anal sex with a woman- I've always also had vaginal sex, so presumably others are, too.

  • So before I had sex I wasn't a virgin because I didn't have a hymen? Makes perfect sense.

    • lol yes. your hymen got torn down when you penetrated her

  • Virginity does not exist? So that cute little six year old girl is just as worldly and knowledgeable as the village slut? I think you really missed the mark with this myTake. Virginity exists but it is not necessarily measured by the presence of an intact hymen. We already knew this because, after all, a girl could be the village blow job queen, never had vaginal intercourse, but she is far from innocent.

    The problem with every discussion of virginity is that no one begins with establishing that they mean when they use that word. There are various meanings associated and they don't all overlap 100%.

  • Stop being so full of shit! l if a penis was never inside you, you're a virgin

  • Virginity is the abstinence of sex.
    If a person abstains, but still has a broken hymen, they are still a virgin.
    The concept is still there.
    Are you saying that riding a bike is a sexual experience?
    Or putting in a tampon?

  • Virginity: having not had sex.

    It 100 per cent exists but it isn't completely defined by the presence of a hymen.

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