Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Sometimes, things get stale in the bedroom. Sometimes, a partner needs help coming out of their shell. Sometimes, a little bit of novelty and excitement can kick start a relationship.
Want help? You have probably been told that playing games in a relationship is wrong, bad, immature, etc., but I am going to encourage you to play a particular game: Winner Says, Loser Does! You should read the instructions below, talk to your partner about doing something different in the bedroom tonight, experience it for yourself, and then report the results to the online community. Did it help?
If you are not living together you set up the game by inviting your partner to your home for dinner on a Friday or Saturday night when you will have plenty of time to devote to the game. Have a nice dinner and share some wine or other spirits if you are so inclined. Some people are a bit uptight and it may take a few Margaritas to put them in the right frame of mind to play this game but once they start, you’ll both have fun. Promise them a special dessert after dinner.
When the dishes have been cleared away, sit your partner in a comfortable place and begin the instructions. “Dear, I want us to play a game tonight. It’s a fun game called Winner Says, Loser Does. We’re going to begin by playing Black Jack." You could pick any other game that results in one person being the Winner and the other person being the Loser, but try to pick a game that will take at least a few minutes to result in someone being declared the Winner. The waiting and anticipation add to the excitement of the game.
“Once we have a Winner, that person will be the Winner for one hour, and the other person will be the Loser for the first hour. After an hour, we switch roles: the Winner becomes the Loser and the Loser becomes the Winner. Here are the rules for what happens next.
1. The Winner can tell the Loser what to do and the Loser must do whatever they are directed to do. If I win, I can promise that all of your commands will be to do things that are sexual and fun and exciting!
2. The Loser may not do anything other than what is commanded by the Winner. The Loser cannot undress the Winner, touch the Winner in any way, do anything to satisfy the Winner in any way . . . unless the Winner says ‘undress me, touch me,' or whatever. Until the Winner gives a command, the Loser does nothing.
3. Before we start and determine who is the Winner, we can both declare that certain activities are off limits. For example, I'm not willing to do anything that involves a third person, nothing that involves leaving this home, no anal sex, no cumming in my mouth. Outside of that, you can ask me for whatever you want and I'l do it . . . when it's your turn to be the Winner.
4. At some time during each hour, the Winner may command the Loser to do something sexual that we have never done before, but it can't be something that either of us has declared off limits."
If you think your partner is inhibited and not really going to get into the spirit of the game, try to do something to “fix” the initial contest so that you are the Winner for the first hour. Then, command your partner to do something that is perhaps just slightly pushing the limits for what you think they might be willing to do. When your hour is up and they become the Winner, they will be eager to have their “revenge” by pushing the envelope with you. That may pull a shy partner out of their shell!
Girls, if the only way for you to get off is by having him lick and suck on your clit for 10 minutes, you can command him to do just that. Want him to use a vibrator inside you while he licks Miss Kitty . . . just tell him! There won’t be any need to complain about his past performances when he failed to get you over the mountaintop, because he is going to do exactly what you tell him to do. It is all up to you! And, when he sees how you respond to having Ms. Kitty worshipped with his tongue, and he hears you moaning and making animal noises, he will want to repeat that maneuver over and over.
Guys, if you want her to give you a blow job and prostate massage at the same time - and if that hasn't been declared off limits - go for it! Want her to ride your face? Reverse cowgirl so you can stare at her ass while she's getting off? Want to watch her masturbate? Anything that hasn't been declared off limits is available for the asking.
So, instead of focusing on the negative aspects of what may have already occurred in the bedroom, try to liven up your relationship by playing Winner Says, Loser Does. It might motivate your partner to become assertive/aggressive between the sheets and that’s always a mighty nice thing to behold.
Good luck with your game playing. We'll be waiting to hear your report and maybe - just maybe - you'll be playing this game again very soon!
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