Guilty masturbation, does anybody else feel this way?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm a virgin and whenever I masturbate (which is like once a month at most, I tend to get really horny before I get my period) once I start feeling something I immediately stop and feel soo guilty about it! I feel terrible, and every time I'm going to do it I know I will feel terrible but do it nonetheless hoping this time won't be the same. My fear is that someday when I have sex I'll feel guilty about it too and stop, I know that will ruin a relationship. What can I do, does anybody else feel this way? I think mostly it's because of my religion and what my parents have taught me, that this happens. Thanks!

[archer86]

As a former catholic, I can tell you that religion attacks your guilt immensely. Religion teaches you that you should do NOTHING with NOBODY until you get married. Period. But human primal urge is stronger than the Bible, take my word for it. When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you sleep. When you are cold, you take shelter. When you are horny, you breed. That is primal urge and instincts take over. No laws or religion can override these basic needs.

You should feel more frustration than guilt. Why? Because your mind will realize that you should be getting laid with a person instead of making love by masturbating. That's why I hate hand jobs and masturbating. The point is: There's nothing like the real thing.

Finding a partner isn't always so easy. You should have no problem though. Let's face it; you are a woman and NOBODY turns a woman away from sex :D

Hope my wisdom has been helpful

[Coffeeanyone]

Just a thought. I understand how your faith and sexuality are hard for unmarried people. I did not even kiss my now wife while we were dating until we were engaged. I was a virgin before we got married, at 26. We did both masturbate before we knew each other. We spoke about it while we were dating and were both excited about it. Now that we are married, masturbation is still a big part of our sex lives. And frankly, maybe I am weird, but when I masturbate, its about me. Not any girl or image. Lusting after someone is the problem, enjoying your body is another thing completely. Enjoy! I love the way it feels. Hope this helps, you can write back if you would like to at writeescribe@yahoo. Com

[necomputer]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a virgin too, but every time I masturbate, I immediately ask for forgiveness thinking I'll NEVER do it again. But then I do. and before I do it, I KNOW the guilt I'll feel, but I still do it.kinda like I just can't stop myself. Its like PMS. I know I have it and as hard as I try, I can't stop being mean that entire time. Its like emotionally, spiritually and mentally I KNOW I shouldnt do it, but physically I just can't stop.and will power has nothing to do with it.

I don't know what else to tell you except how I deal with it.which is as bad as I want to stop, sometimes I physically cant. I hope you find peace in this situation though because you don't want it to ruin your sexual relationship when you do get married and have one.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I completely understand what you're talking about (and I'm not even religious). I'm a virgin too but then there are some times of the month where hormones get the better of me. Since I also have OCD when the guilt sets in I feel dirty and literally try and scrub off my skin in a really long really hot shower. Yet it doesn't stop me from doing it again later. I don't know what to tell you because I know saying not to feel guilty really won't work because logic doesn't usually stand against emotion and the guilt will come. I'd say the best thing is to try and desensitize yourself to sex through talking about it more openly and you'll eventually realize it isn't a huge deal enough so that when your first time comes you won't feel so bad.

[manderz]

I get really horny before my period too and I do the same thing. Then I feel guilty and then I get depressed (being a girl sucks sometimes). I think it's just a natural thing. Our culture (and religions) say that sex and stuff is so bad. We're made to think that it's a sin when it's only part of being alive (that sounds corny I know but think about it. Even tree frogs are crazy about sex). My advice it try not to feel guilty, I wouldn't tell my parents and don't let this affect you when you actually have sex.

[RomeoCowboy]

Feeling guilty about that is not uncommon, There is really no logical reason that you do, other than your religion, most people do at first, I did until I had sex for the first time, I don't know if it was because I felt like I was doing something wrong, or if it was more or less "what would people think if they knew I did". It will all take time, and to be honest, you are not dabbing in premarital sex, so there is really no harm in it.

[modelnude4u]

Masturbation is completely normal, but I suppose guilt is normal too. Don't let it get to you too much. You should be able to enjoy a little alone time when the urge strikes.

[bigascanb]

dont feel terrible its practically normal besides it feel good. there's nothing wrong with feeling good

[Anonymous]

I understand your frustration. But we are all human and NO ONE is perfect. Quit being so hard on yourself, it really is normal no matter what any one thinks. Think of it this way. Pros and cons of masturbating. Pros are; no diseases, no heartache, learn your body, etc. Cons

are: feeling guilty. Which sounds best to you. You are technically still a virgin. So have your cake and eat it to. Good luck