Masturbating with a cucumber?

Anonymous
I have been wanting to masturbate lately with something with girth and length. But unfortunately I have nothing at my disposal other than my fingers and a hair brush handle (which is quite thin). I live with my parents and I currently do not have a job so buying a vibrator is basically impossible at this point. Also my mother is the snoopiest person on the face of the planet, so she'll find it. I do not want to ask for condoms for the cucumber since I am not sexually active with someone, and it would be just plan awkward to ask my parents. Please let me know if it's even remotely sane to use a well-washed cucumber as a dildo, please?
Masturbating with a cucumber?
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