My boyfriend can't keep an erection when he's with me?

[HinataSan]

We're both 20, been together for a year and have a very loving relationship (we're very comfortable around each other in every day life), the only problem being the sex. He does get hard during foreplay (but never gets like super hard for long) but when it comes to penetration he just loses it. A lot of times he doesn't even come during my handjobs/blowjob, but has to finish it himself. We've talked about it several times and here's what he told me about it. He said that it it's really bothering him, that it has nothing to do with me and that he thinks I'm attractive, yet I can't stop feeling like I'm not atrractive enough to him, though I'm sure he loves me... He's had sex once before me and didn't have this problem. He masturbates about 3-6 times a week so the problem isn't physical, but rather psychological, I guess... In months before he met me there was a period where he just didn't feel the need for anything sexual and didn't do it at all for like 2 months. Then we met at a party, we were both drunk and things got pretty hot... But he didn't get an erection when I started touching his penis (which I don't even remember lol), and he said he felt really awful and embarassed about it. We only started dating about 9 months after that, but the similar problem persisted, even though he started masturbating regularly soon after that "incident". I'm pretty self conscious and not very sexual (which is why I keep thinking I'm too bad in bed to keep him interested, which only makes me less relaxed and harder to o "sexy" stuff) but I've tried to do a number of things to keep him aroused enough to penetrate me, it's not like I just lie there... but with no major success. I'd appreciate your opinions on this, it's really bothering both of us... I really love him and I wouldn't want this relationship to be doomed somewhere along the road because of this.

[shessoheavy]

maybe he is asexual? Asexuality is a sexual orientation and like any other is just the way you were made. Asexuals can experience romantic and aesthetic attraction however. So, you could find someone to be handsome/ beautiful and want to form relationships but with no or little desire to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone; though some asexuals don’t feel those forms of attraction either. There are also grey areas where you may only experience sexual attraction occasionally. Also masturbation is related to sex drive or libido not always sexual attraction.

I am asexual btw, let me know if you have any questions.

[summiter]

Have him not masturbate for a day before sex. The weed should not matter too much, but ask him not to be stoned when he has sex with you to see if that helps. Try some more foreplay. Get naked with each other and just fool around for a long time before sex. Try giving him a handjob first before sex to get him hard.

[roteiro]

It is not usual really. You should go to a doctor to get consulted. Also, try using Viagra or Cialis, get some info on it from
It is a very serious thing and has to be treated as soon as possible. Don't postpone it and be careful!

[AustinMan]

Send him to a urologist to get checked out. If it all good, he needs a script for Cialis. That'll get him rock hard.

[MlleCake]

Oh, it's the weed.

[Werewolfy]

This has nothing to do with you. He has desensitized himself from all the p*rn and wanking. Permanent porn/masturbation ban and no sex for a month and he'll be hard as an econometrics test.

[mrperfect94]

Is he on any drug? Or is he smoking a lot? Or drinking?

[HinataSan]

Well yeah he smoked weed daily until about a month agonijo, now he reduced it to just weekends... could it be a factor in this?

[mrperfect94]

Ya ofcrse... its can b the prob smoking can lead to it...

[JC103]

Is he fit? Does he watch a lot of p*rn? Being dead serious

[HinataSan]

He's not very athletic but not fat... And yeah since he jerks off quite often I guess so...

[JC103]

Does he have a lot of bat around his core or lower body? Either way, he needs to workout more. If he's jerking off to p*rn, watch it with him because he's basically training his brain to be aroused at said p*rn. When he watch p*rn and he constently switches from one to another, can cause ED. How old is he? If he 25 or up, he might need to see a doctor about his test levels do to his age. I have more info if you have more questions. feel free to message me. Trust me, I've heard it all before, you shouldve hear when I had to talk to a 70 year old man about taking Viagra. Also if you are wondering, yes I've professional taken courses about such matters.

[Liamace123]

This is a very normal side effect of low self esteem which he may be suffering from. It is actually very common.

[Anonymous]

He can’t have sex with you because he is too busy having sex with himself. Dump the selfish guy!

[Anonymous]

He's just gay. Tell him to think of Burt Reynolds.

[Opinion Owner]

If he smokes a lot of weed it may also be that he is becoming a Juggalo, they are not capable of sustaining erections either so their may be a link. Ask him if he ever listens to insane clown posse.

[Anonymous]

Lots of guys have problems like that. Me for one. I ussually have delayed ejaculation so it takes me awhile to cum and i ussually have to finish myself. It can be uncomfortable at times but you just gotta own it and make the best of it. Also staying hard can be an issue but the key to that is warming lube and lots of blowjobs. sometimes ill get hard and fuck for a bit and get soft and then get a blowjob and then fuck a bit more. I've often have girls get self conscious and think it's their fault but like i said just gotta accept it as gospel and roll w. it

[Anonymous]

Do you get really... Um lubricated? Totally happens to me an the wife... Top secret here... If so have him pull out and dry off a bit... then go again... it will feel tighter and give him more sensations. That's the reason men hate condoms too we have to focus super hard to keep it up...

[Anonymous]

Very strange. how can he go soft so soon?