I'm so confused about my sexuality!

[goodmorningsunshine]

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I don't know if I like boys or girls or both. It's driving me insane. I can't tell if I'm bisexual or just straight and curious. These feelings started after my boyfriend and I broke up for the second time. The first time we broke up I felt okay with my life and who I was and I knew I was straight and liked guys. The second time we broke up my self esteem shot down and I started to question my sexuality. It's stressing me out so much. I've had an emotional breakdown about it everyday for the past week. I have no problem with gay/bisexual people but that's really not that way I want to live. I want to be straight. but I can't help but question myself. The thing is I don't know if this is just a phase, I'm ALWAYS worried about something. I have a bit of OCD, so I don't know if "turning gay" is just one of my OCD phobias. sometimes I even think about committing suicide over this because id rather die than be anything but straight. I'm so confused because I started finding females attractive, but then yesterday I hangout with my ex boyfriend and I had all these feelings for him, and I forgot about being attracted to girls, then when I got home from hanging out with him I still felt attracted to guys but worries about my sexuality slowly came back that same night. It's also confusing because when I was with my boyfriend I used to LOVE doing sexual things for him and I would always think about being all over guys sexually, and now I feel like that's fading. what's happening to me?!?!?!?! :( I'm going into the 12th grade btw, in case that makes any difference. I think I may feel this way because I gave everything I had into the relationship and he didn't even give a sh*t, PLEASE HELP! does the fact that I'm questioning my sexuality mean I'm something other than straight? and is there anyone who has question there sexuality in the past who is now straight?

[beefpatrol]

My opinion: you're as straight as women get. There is a specific variety of OCD known as "homosexual OCD" or HOCD. Basically, this involves a person having irrational fears that they might be gay. Interestingly, gay people can have similar irrational fears that they might be straight. Bisexuals can have fears that they only like one sex, (usually the one that they aren't with at the time.)

Studies have shown that most women are turned on, (physically,) by other women as well as men that appear to be aroused. Most straight women either don't realize this about themselves or deny it. Note that most of these women don't want a relationship with another woman, they just get turned on by them. In any case, the same research showed that lesbian women are not turned on by men. They are like straight men in that regard -- they have no physical response to men. Your story combined with that information puts you firmly in the straight category with OCD making you worry about being gay.

Just my opinion. Google for HOCD. I wish I could think of what to tell you to Google for to find the paper about what arouses whom. I can't though.

[manboy408]

Your fine sweetie, what you are likely experiencing/feeling is an existential crisis which feels like a bad thing but is actually good, it's a shift in thinking and your brains way of telling you to question something and look closer because there is more to see than just what you are experiencing. Most girls around your age usually start experiencing this in some way shape or form of being (curious) which is really what you have is a curiousness. It's not one way or the other. Studies actually find that it's easier for women to feel the same attraction to other women as they do men. Look at this as something to explore and play around with ideas, not something you HAVE to choose! There is no right or wrong answer, I know the push-pull feeling doesn't feel right but that will pass. Then at that point you will be left with everything you need to really decide what it is your really feeling and act on it or not. It's YOUR ability to choose that matters here nothing else.

[MrSchneider]

everyone questions it

if perhaps you want to experiment, then do so

if not, then don't

don't worry about your confusion, in time it will pass

i used to think I was gay because I thought a guy looked good

but as time went by, I just realized it was something I thought, not something I felt.

maybe your heart is broken, maybe not

only you know

and only you know your sexuality. we cannot tell you what it is.

just stop worrying about it and you will figure it out.

[Tasclearwater]

Hey, Goodmorningsunshine! I know exactly what you are going through. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I questioned my sexuality. It took me a while, and yes i stressed over it a lot, but once I sat down and thought it through, yes i stared at girls, sometimes at their breasts and butts, but i thought about it, and realised, I'm straight still, i'm just comparing myself to them, and also, you saying you are going into year 12 so you would be around 16-17? I am 15, and around 14 - 18 your hormones with puberty are like haywire, so you are confused because of puberty. Also, you are even more confused because of your recent heart break. Just breathe, darling, everything will be okay. Just try not to stress, and you don't have to label yourself right at this very minute. Good luck! :)

[sheasksheanswers]

It's okay to question your sexuality we all have our times. I just think you're curious and your dealing with your breakup in a really hard way. There's nothing wrong with being a different sexuality I know you said that you are not against those people but it seems like you're against yourself being anything but straight. If you are thinking that being straight is not for you or you're just curious just try other sexuality is and see what's for you. It's okay to be curious I think everyone really is.

[Anonymous]

The same things happens to me!!! I alwasys liked boys and i had fantasies with them in my head (i never had a boyfriend or dated) So the fact that i never dated anyone make me think if im bi or not stright, im also an overthinker sooo every thought i have I overthink it and thats make me so sick. The true part is that i think that girls are cute and pretty and I compare myself to them, like omg they are so pretty and here i am begin so ugly!.

[TheAteam1978]

Young lady do what makes you feel good! You dont have to announce it to the world. You have no say in the matter when it comes to whom you are attracted to. Life is so much more then sex or sexual orientation! We as people have so much more to offer the world! That being said we all love sex and you should be having it with whomever you want! Dont ever think about taking your life! We all have so much to live for!

[Hellohowareyou1]

Be what you want

[sup3ry3ll0wman]

if ur ex boyfriend isn't in the same classes as u, then you shouldn't worry about him. I had a girlfriend once but broke up with me, but I'm in 3 classes with her now. but I tried forgetting about her and I moved on. try moving on from ur ex boyfriend by asking anyone out who you like, you can ask anyone. try focusing what you gotta do like hw instead of being confused. because the more you think about it, the more u'll be confused in your classes

[Anonymous]

This happened to me too. I consider myself bi-curious, but as you get older you'll find your way, just try to be open to your emotions, you can't drown them 'cause they know how to float.

[goodmorningsunshine]

Thanks :) lol do you think if I stopped worrying so much I may find that I'm just going through a phase? were you really confused at one point and then realized your just curious? and were you as upset/ frustrated as I was when you felt confused? sorry for all the questions! I'm just trying to figure this out! :p

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I don't think you can just "stop worrying about it". Just be happy with who you re, and don't be so critical of yourself. It may just be a phase but you'll never know until you explore your fantasies. (I know I didn't sell that right.) I was very frustraded while I was confused, like there was something wrong with me but you have to oen up your mind a little. Best of luck, add me, theuser name is emma2113