Sexual Health
+1 y

My fiance asks my to prove my virginity. I'm a litle confused. What should I do?

So we are engaged. We live together for a year. Getting married soon. We both virgins and everything was fine till now. Suddenly he asked me to show him my vagina and hymen to prove I'm a virgin. I'm not shy or smth, just its make me sad, because I feel he doesn't trust me. Also I do not want to show him me place till we are not married. Do not think its about bad hygiene or something(it;s even shaved) just like are my morals. So I went to my gynecologist. He said I have intact hymen, I brought a paper to my fiance, from gynecologist. But he says he wants to see it, because he doesn't trust gynecologist. What should I do? I really love him, everything is fine except this. Should I go over my moral not to show him my vagina till marriage?
Updates:
+1 y
The problem is that he can prove his virginity because he has a foreskin piercing, that prevents sexual intercourse( it would be painful). He says he has made it when he was 20 years old . And promised me to cut these 2 rings a day before marriage.
+1 y
I know it sounds freak, but he isn't a freak he just wanted to be for sure to save his virginity till marriage.
+1 y
Thank you, I deal with his mother to go together to gynecologist, and he will show her my hymen. My fiance agreed because I think he trusts his mom.
+1 y
The deal with his mother failed, because she refused go with me. So I said him, that he has to trust me or leave me alone.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Weird!

    His foreskin piercing is no proof at all since he has/had made it when he was 20 years old: I lost my virginity before, so do lots of men. It just could prove he hadn't much active sex with his penis since he was 20. (How old is he now?) He can be a gay bottom for instance. Or have gone down on any willing human (or other) being. A piercing ? Your text suggests an infibulation: link link link

    He thus probably couldn't wash much either. I prefer not to think about the result of that.:-P

    YOU don't have to prove anything at all.

    Shortly after we started dating,my wife told me she's a virgin, I never considered asking any proof, because I LOVED HER

    ( I loved then, tenths of years ago and now: I still love her)

    If she hadn't been a virgin, I'd still love her as much. Now and then. Because I love HER, not her hymen.

    Love is about trust and caring, openness, not about a hymen and an eventual past. I'm afraid he got his priorities wrong.

    His whole story sounds freaky, obsessive.

    Ask yourself seriously if that's the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, the guy you want to educate your daughter.

    • A guy like that probably wouldn't recognize a hymen if he saw one.

  • I have to mention, that getting foreskin piercings to prevent intercourse before marriage is extreme. Extremely extreme. But that's his call.

    Showing a guy your hymen to prove that you're a virgin? Also extreme. But that's your call. By the way, a lot of active women rupture their hymen through sports. Given his remarkable interest in hymens, it surprises me that he doesn't know this.

    My opinion: He should just take your word for it. A hymen won't make you a better wife. It won't even make you a better virgin.

Most Helpful Girls

  • first thing , what he is saying about the piercing and the foreskin is just BS, there is not such thing.

    second ,He is looking for an excuse...to do something...don't know what it is.

    third, He doesn't trust you so how the hell you wanna marry him? I mean what if he comes to you in the future and says I want to put a camera in your vagina to make sure you never cheat WTF!?

    fourth , He may be NOT a virgin..and feeling guilty that you are and he isnt...so that's why he is doing this. (I don't think a virgin man would pierce his cock) EVER

    If he loves you he wouldn't care if you are or not.. I mean why is he making it a big deal WAIT AND YOU WILL SEE!

    If I were you id take him to a gynecologist so he can check both of us to prove that he is a virgin if possible!

    Do not show him your vagina.. if he doesn't get it then its his issue!

  • he sounds extremely disrespectful and insensitive. this is just crazy! why is he feeling so insecure that he MUST be the only one who will get to sleep with you?!? guy sounds like he needs to take a major chill pill and stop freaking out. if he is already asking you to prove something such as this imagine everything else that he will question you about when you actually are married. if I was in your shoes, I would be running for the hills away from this creep. he is marrying YOU, not your vagina, DUH! what a knucklehead :(

    • +1 _____ I liked the way you put it.

  • i wouldn't want to marry someone I had to prove my virginity to.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 8

  • Tell him to prove his. Sounds like cold feet. He isn't gonna find another girl your age that will even lie about being a virgin anymore so he should be happy with you.

  • He doesn't trust you and he doesn't trust doctors. I'd be furious if I was you! I wouldn't want to marry someone that paranoid.

    By the way, everyone should know that a broken hymen is NOT proof that a girl has had sex. This is not debatable; it's a well-established scientific fact.

    link

    • Lol, You call that ARCHAEOLOGY?

    • By the way, everyone should know that an intact hymen is NOT proof that a girl has NOT had sex. This is not debatable; it's a well-established scientific fact. Conclusion: a hymen just proves NOTHING!

  • I would stick to morals and tell him no.

    You've given him a paper from your gynecologist. He is being obsessive and displaying a lack of trust which could be an early sign of what’s to come in the future.

    Let’s consider for a moment you did end up giving in. He's a virgin. He has no clue what he's looking for. It's not like you wear your hymen on the outside of your body. He would be clueless.

    MY opinion, not yours.

    Cheers.

  • Are you marrying a member if the Taliban?

  • No. Stick to your morals & don't show him the vagina. You have done more than enough by showing it to the gynecologist. The lab reports can never go wrong. Tell that to him. Don't we rely on our blood tests that we do in a pathological lab ? Persuade him this way. Tell him that it is against your moral to show your private part to him before marriage. Besides, you are a woman, you have the right to say no in this scenario.

    Remember, you have the right to say no to him. (This sentence deserves another mention.)

    • Yes ! You did the right thing as he is a paranoid & doesn't trust you.

  • This is just stupid. He's marrying you, yet he has such negativity clouding his mind and wants proof so badly he's willing to have his mother fill in. This doesn't sound like a good precursor if you ask me.

  • Just take a picture and then show him the picture. That way no morals are broken. Or show it to his mom and have his mom tell him that you're a virgin.

  • tell him no. you shouldn't have to prove yourself in any way to anyone! stick to your morals.

  • Wow stick to your guns! He can't prove his virginity,I had sex at 16..if he can't accept your honesty about your virginity..find a new man~!

  • wow. he's way too paranoid! he should be able to trust you, that's just creepy that he is making you have the gynecologist look and all this stuff just to prove it!

  • That is kinda messed up. I mean, its not like you can ask him to prove his virginity.

    BUT!

    Think about it. About the good things compared to the bad.

    I hope all turns out okay!

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