18 and a Virgin had a thought to get vasectomy? Tell me pros and cons? Educate me on your experience on having kids?

[Anonymous]

So, daily a case someone's precautions failed and bam! They need to get ready to spent next 18.9 years of their life taking care and nurturing someone, and youth lasts from 20-40 years of age. I want to have fun and live and want to be better safe then sorry. Ladies what do you think of a guy who is already had vasectomy? I think there will be no way in which I could be bound. I can have full control over my life whenever I want, no column for mistakes (of course taking care not to get S. T. D) F. Y. I, main reason behind this thought = I LOVE little kids and pretty good with them but having of my own will be horrible, I do not think I will be a good father, I myself had a pretty bruised childhood, just because my parents were not psychologically fine and were not ready for us and they too had bruised childhood. I think like passing on this bruised childhood to someone won't be good. Also when anytime i say my mom that she was brutal and scarred my childhood, she starts crying that she herself had a scarred childhood and was not ready to have us. So I am thinking to be a dead end of my family tree. Of course I have 2 real brothers which mean I am not bound to continue our family line. Traditional Ladies want to get married have babies and get settled are welcomed to avoid this question. I know I am thinking wrong that is why I need your advice most traditional and old schooled man's and women. If I ever by mistake fell in stupid love and ever want kids I can either adopt them or get a I. V. F on my lady. Advice from parents - those are daddy and mommy advice me. Of course it looks like I am thinking to do mistake and a glimpse how good it feels to be a dad or mom.

[ironeddie]

Personally I think you are too young to be making such a decision.

As well, based on things you said here. I don't think a doctor would do one on you. If you live in North America you will probably have a fair amount of problems finding a doctor who will perform the vasectomy.

From things I've read. If you don't have children, a lot of doctors won't even consider the procedure until you are in your mid-late 20's.

But it's your choice. Good luck.

[Asker]

I reside in India, life is different here, some of your pets enjoy more luxury then us. Value of human life is like nil. 10-15 murders in every district are common thing daily. Unemployment and increasing population and competition in every branch of society. Petulant fools with power of gangsters and muscle power stand in election win and rule here, corruption in entire federal structure. And many things I do not want to say, like my parents will create pressure on me when my college ends around age of 25-30 to get married or a somehow get me in an arranged marriage, getting a girl of their choice and giving her lot of chance to seduce me. Cast a spell of lust for few days get me married and then she is pregnant. Wife for whole life, I leave her society rejects me.

[kheserthorpe]

I'm a parent AND I've had a vasectomy.

Both good decisions.

At your age I wasn't sure I wanted kids. Now they're the most important thing in your life.

Vasectomies can sometimes be reversed, but not always. I'd suggest not doing it yet, but eventually yes.

Good luck.

[Asker]

The Kid part makes me confused. What if my wife I love wanted our kids. What if she is not like me, happy with kids no matters whose they are or if they are being adopted.

[kheserthorpe]

You also have that dumb idea in your head that you love someone, and the idea of seeing little kids that are a mix of the two of you is kind of special.

[Asker]

Well for a guy like me it will seem dumb, but I know surely when a guy like you have experienced it, I assume it's like dark fantasy you feel along with the intimacy with her.

[kheserthorpe]

I would say, don't presume it's reversible. Reversing it is not nearly as simple, or reliable (or cheap). You have to treat it as likely permanent. It's not just like you could do IVF either. The normal IVF process starts with you beating off into a cup. I believe there's a process where they can stick a needle into your testicles and try to remove some. Not sure how reliable it is. IVF is no sure thing, so you could be spending 15-20k per attempt and each attempt only has a 25% chance or so of working.

[Asker]

Sir, it was a thought, I am not going to get it done. And I do not earn. So no way it is happening until next 5yrs

[kheserthorpe]

Not trying to rant at you, sorry. Just explaining why I'd think of it as an eventual solution, probably not a good one at this stage.

[Asker]

I am a science guy, especially field of biology. I know it's not presumably. They just collect some sperms from near the testies and try IVF with it which may even fuse a damaged or incompetent and unhealthy sperms resulting in a crippled or abnormal child

[kheserthorpe]

Good. I just see people - you probably do to - who just because something is sometimes possible, take it as a given they can do it. You see it with women who are just cheerfully gonna have kids at 40 via IVF and don't seem to have considered it OFTEN doesn't work.

[Asker]

I am not a social kind of guy and very introvert I barely meet people so I never seen lady being happy she is pregnant.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I think you'd be making a huge mistake and I wouldn't date someone who was so fixed in their lives. I don't even want kids but the thought that you are so sure and can never change your mind it me off. I don't want children but I'd never take away my option to. In ten years time I may feel completely different. In ten years time you might meet a woman so amazing that she changes your mind and you want to put a baby in here. Love is a powerful and strange thing.

[Asker]

CONGRATULATIONS, I am sure you found love in your life or are in love right now. Yeah I guess you could be right, because I never had a hug from a girl of my age like a friend, kiss is beyond horizon so sex to make babies is on either side of globe.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I do have love in my life and even that may change to something where we want to have kids. I'm quite sure it won't, but why make that decision now? I suppose as a woman you know you only have a limited time to reproduce so it is more of an issue. It will happen for you. Maybe not soon, maybe a long time down the road but it will happen. You will find someone.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You're too young to make a (semi) permanent decision like that. Maybe wait another 18 years and if you feel the same way then, get one.

[Asker]

Next 12 years is the age till which I do not want to make a girl pregnant. After it if I am in love then we shall see

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Condoms and BCP's are good enough then.

[Domingo]

I'm not sure if you would be allowed to do a procedure like that at a young age. I think you have to be past a certain age

[Asker]

Well yeah, but I think I can get it done after 18 constitutionally I have rights but medically I think they will want me to wait till 21. I am just giving it it a thought. Not going for it right now

[kingkirk9]

Yea I wouldn't even think about that til you hit the mid 30s honestly.

[Asker]

Thank you