Sexual Health
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Going Down On A Girl Is Unmanly?

I go down on my boyfriend all of the time,but he's never gone down on me and I have never been given oral sex before.So I asked him if he would go down on me,but he said "No," and just asked him why and he said "Going down on girls isn't manly and if my friends found out they'd be up my a** forever and would never leave me alone about it." And I told him,that I always go down on him,and he said "it's different for girls,going down on a girl is emasculating(sp?) and not cool,only punks do it" I never knew guys thought this way about Oral,I thought they enjoyed going down on their girlfriends or whatever,but I guess not. Do a majority of guys agree with my boyfriend?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I asked my husband and he doesn't. We are both younger-22. If you are like 20 or below, I suppose some guys are immature about it. I can kind of see why, I suppose. I don't particularly care for the taste of myself (which I can taste when I kiss him after oral or when I go down on him during/after sex). My husband says he likes it, though.

    To everyone saying that some guys like it, I can see this as true. But this IS NOT what her boyfriend told her. He told her that it made him less of a man and his friends would make fun of him. One of which is not true, and the second is peer pressure. Had her boyfriend told her he didn't like the taste, then maybe, but he did not. And if he has never given oral to anyone before, he would not know how it tastes.

    Just because you haven't had it, you shouldn't miss out. As others said, it is selfish IT IS SELFISH (to people who said otherwise). Even if you don't want or feel like you need it, I think you should try to get your boyfriend to do it. Point being, he is letting his friends and appearance dictate how he acts with you. What happens when you boyfriend's friends try to convince him that he should break up with you? Cheat on you? What about when they want him to spend all his time with them? Is he just going to idly go along with everything they say?

    I wouldn't stay with someone who would expect me to do something and not do it back, See how he would act when you stop going down on him, tell him that you don't think good girls go down on guys, your friends starting making fun of you, and you think only sluts do that. See what he says. When he tries to convince you otherwise, ask how it differs.

  • I know some guys just don't LIKE it, and they don't have to. That's a personal preference, just like some girls don't like giving head. But this is a messed up attitude to have about oral sex; expecting you to give to him, but thinking it's stupid that you'd even suggest he return the favor. He's in the minority on this one, I think.

    All of my guy friends that I've ever discussed this with have the COMPLETE opposite response. They love it, and they'll admit that to aaanyone. They would argue that not returning the favor [at least] is unmanly. They've told me that they feel it's ungentlemanly not to, and that they love going down on a girl; having that kind of impact on the pleasure she feels, and rarely, if ever, expect anything in return.

    What I wonder is WHY he feels that going down on a girl is emasculating. It seems kind of implausible that the only reason is that he cares too much what his friends think of him.

  • I'm ambivalent about this...I mean, my brother always says the same thing X-D He's like, 'guys who do that ' i.e go down on girls are disgusting *rolls eyes*. I think its silly, but at the same time, if he doesn't want to do it and it doesn't run him on, I don't think he should have to...but equally, it does seem unfair that you're willing to do that for him, but a lot of guys I think do feel like there's something degrading about it...I think its wrong and unfair, but I can understand why some guys just don't want to do it...difficult issue!

Most Helpful Guys

  • I guess I'm a punk then. No greater love a man can have for a woman than to go down and explore her sweet spot. That is reserved for true men. What man wouldn't want her sanctuary resting on his face?

    I am concerned with his statement "if my friends found out." How else would they find out?

    A story: I was discussing oral sex with a male friend of mine. I asked him if he likes to go down. He said "I don't put my mouth any where my d*** has been." I then stated "So, you don't kiss your wife?" He LOL.

    Maybe your boyfriend is afraid of his own penis. Maybe he thinks his penis is dirty or what comes out is nasty. Try this. Give him a BJ for a few minutes, then go up and kiss him in the mouth. If he turns his head to get out of the way or twitches, you have your answer.

    For me. I will go any where my penis has been. Sometimes Mr. Penis goes first, then I follow up with my mouth. We both share the same desires and visit her same places together.

    This type of hang up displays possible deeper issues. I would tell him this. If he don't, I won't till he goes first.

    Otherwise, find a true man willing to be open and give you what you need.

  • He either doesn't know what to do, to please you, or he's secretly playing for the 'other team'!! I LOVE going down on my GFs, but most are really nervous, at first, afraid of the intimacy, or maybe how she smells, or if she gets wet!! All of that is part of the joy!! Nature/Evolution made guys NEED you, and ADORE your beautiful bodies, and love the intense, sensual smells that make us want you more!!!
    It's foreplay, for the 'experts', maybe, that can spend a half hour, or so, getting you aroused, wet, and really wanting what society seems to say is wrong, or un-'ladylike'!!
    I ADORE my 'good girl', and she doesn't seem to mind when I lead her to the 'dark side' and make her orgasm, and squeal!! She's still my 'Lady' and more so, being open, and able to enjoy what she wants without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, LOVING IT!!
    Guys, if you expect her to blow you, you need to reciprocate, and give her that special joy that she really wants, but many are embarrassed to ask for!!
    Ladies, stop giving BJs until they learn to give you the same joy!! It's 'Fair Play' and a lot of fun, together!!! Make them 'Man up' and love your pink parts!!

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 23

  • ?

    Your boy-toy is just scared of going below the equator.

    I've never had a problem with it (As long as you keep yourself nice an tidy downstairs) and it's just a natural part of foreplay and good sex.

    I'd have to say, that your man is an exception to the rule, It's like they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  • I'm a virgin,never given or received oral sex,but I don't think I would let a guy do down on me.I've heard a lot of guys say they don't like it or enjoy it.I would give,but not let go down,as much as I think it would be fun,i rather just imagine it then have a guy do it when he doesn't want to.Idk if a majority agree with him.I think it's just a preference

  • That is the biggest crock of sh*t ever. How is pleasing your mate unmanly? So it's not okay for him to give you oral, but he expects you to do it for him? It's all about equality. If he isn't going down on you, don't do it to him. He is being pretty selfish and if he feels like that he should get used to you not going down on him.

  • Nah uh! I think ur boyfriend thinks its yucky! and he's not man enough to tell you but instead made up all the crap about not being manly and stuff like that...its true you know...even though you dun want it...its still selfish of him not giving back.

  • We don't think about oral this way, your guy is an idiot for saying that. Of course there could be a number of reasons for him not wanting to go down their and he's just making sh*t up to tell not to go down there. Maybe he's insecure about doing it, maybe there's something going on with your vagina he's not digging on or maybe he's just not into giving oral.

    • I wax and I don't have any odor

  • wth...hes not a man for being a push over and not going down on you. there's nothing wrong with going down on a girl I don't know wth he's talking about "unmanly" he's the unmanly one afraid to go down on because of what his friends will say. who the f*** cares about what they think as long as he makes you feel good.

  • First off, everyone is unique and has their likes and dislikes, but "unmanly" sounds a bit old fashioned. Each partner should be willing to at least try something new to please the other.

    If it really is just an image thing, not that he doesn't like the act itself, suggest some 69 action. No man in his right mind is going to turn that down or think it unmanly ;)

    • He won't try 69,i mean he'll try it but he won't give oral to me,i just give to him

    • Bummer. Sorry :(

  • Having you go down on him and not returning the favor is unmanly.

  • I smile at the bullsh*t excuses I hear sometimes.

    The world is full of men who'll feel quite manly with their heads in your crotch. I suggest you find one. Or two. Or ten.

    Set up an introduction, even. It would be fun: "Hey man, I ate the sh*t out of your girl, and frankly, I'm feeling pretty manly about it."

    He'll eventually get the hint.

  • You're boyfriend is a complete moron, and you're dumb for staying with him! Giving oral is all about being unselfish. Obviously you're boyfriend is a complete D-Bag and doesn't deserve you. But since you haven't realized this yet, you probably never will, and will be miserable the rest of your life

    • I've never even had oral so I have no idea what it's like,therefore I'm not miserable

    • No, but if a guy is selfish in the bedroom, then he's selfish out of the bedroom. You're with a complete d***, and yet you're still with him. Hmm....

    • Ok.It's just oral sex.Everyone has a preference and he just doesn't like it

    • Show All

  • What's not manly is being afraid of eating p**** because of what your friends might think.

  • I go down on my girlfriend all of the time.Her pleasure comes first.It's unmanly to not make your girl orgasm,or to not put her pleasure first or to stop after you're done and she hasn't came.He's a selfish idiot.You shouldn't have to ask him to try to make you orgasm,it's common sense

  • Tell him he's right it's demeaning and for that reason you have decided not to do it anymore as well. He should quickly change his mind. If he doesn't then find someone that will. For the guy that says it's not that big a deal and to get over it your probably not doing it right.

  • Yes you were wright most men love going down on their girl, your bf is just being selfish

  • I don't agree with your boyfriend. He should perform oral on you.

    • I don't want him to if he doesn't want to though.I've never had oral,so it's ok.it's nothing

    • If you are reaching your orgasms, and feeling complete & satisfied after sex, then it is fine.

    • We usually stop after he cums:/

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  • He is either making excuses, or he is a lightweight. Men go down on their girls. I have always licked my girls
    first and made them cum. He should be doing the same. No more BJs until he mans up.

  • Not true it's not emasculating. I wanna know where your boyfriend heard that it was.

  • He sounds so misogynistic. Treating women differently because of what a group of men think is literally what sexism is.

  • I don't agree with him at all. I love going down on girls and do it for my girlfriend all the time. I think it is a huge turn-on and don't consider it un-manly at all.

  • No they don't. This is the only way many women can get an orgasm to begin with.

    You need to tell him that his unwillingness to do this bothers you; if he's simply grossed out by the idea, promise to ease him into it, but if that's NOT what this is, there's a larger underlying issue to be addressed.

    There are usually three reasons why a guy might have misgivings about doing it.

    1. Comfort. Finding a mutually comfortable position takes a bit of trial and error, a guy can get a sore neck if he's at a bad angle. The only real way to solve this is trial and error. If the bed isn't providing enough room, try the couch.

    2. Taste. A lot of guys who have never done it before have an apprehension similar to the one a lot of girls have about.. you know. An Altoid will dull the tastebuds, and give you a more pleasurable sensation (but avoid the cinnamon flavor, it will burn you).

    3. Stamina. Maybe he's afraid he might tire out before you reach orgasm? There are quite a few guides available (a few here probably about how he can pace himself and "pre-heat" you).

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