My boyfriend was circumcised at 7 and is very uncomfortable with it, what should he do?

[Anonymous]

So I know this kind of thing should be asked by my guy himself, but he's extremely shy about it and won't ask help of anyone. I might seem nosey, but I feel at least partially responsible for his comfort and happiness. Now, we live in a European country where circumcision is rarely practiced, so I found it weird that he would turn out to be cut. His parents are very secretive about sex and physicality in general, so he did not even know he had been circumcised until I pointed it out (we haven't actually had sex, I just petted him and wondered why he didn't react when I touched the head of his penis). He told me that he had started touching himself when he was very young and when his parents found out, they took him to see the doctor. The doctor taped his penis upward and then he can't recall anything. He only told me that ever since then, he found much less pleasure in masturbation. He definitely feels like something is missing (well, it is) and is terribly insecure about it. Recently, his parents have told him that his little brother (aged 5) might have the same kind of "problem" as he had had. His parents might be prudish, yes, but I assume that my boyfriend simply had some sort of a urinary tract disfunction and circumcision was necessary, otherwise I don't think a doctor would perform it at all, least of all in a country where I guess 99% of guys go uncut. Now, I want him to feel happy with himself, so I was thinking about suggesting he considers foreskin restoration. I don't wanna seem too intrusive, but I really want him to enjoy his sexuality and feel good about his body. If he was cut at the age of 7, it's obvious that he'd feel something is missing. But his parents won't tell him why exactly he was cut. If it was for a medical reason, then probably trying to regrow it is not the brightest idea, right? I don't know, I just want to help him.

[WhatisMisophonia]

I'm American and I've been cut, but almost every boy was in this part of the country when I was born, so I don't hold it against my parents. That said, in your boyfriend's type of situation I'd be pretty pissed with my sexually mutilating puritanical parents, and I don't know that I'd forgive them if what you say is true. Also, if they are going to do this again to another son, I would just about disown them unless they agreed not to circumcise him for such reasons. No body has a right to brand their personal beliefs onto another person's body. Parents are guarded with steward ship over their children, but they don't OWN them. Just as a person can make up their own mind about what they believe, they should also be able to make decisions about their own healthy body parts. It's sad that genital mutilation is not illegal on boys.

[Mesonfielde]

Foreskin restoration is an option. Just look up the forum about it foreskin-restoration.net/.../showthread.php?t=3581 and ask for advice there.

Also look here
www.reddit.com/.../

and
www.reddit.com/.../

[aamy811]

Don't tell him to get skin restoration. That like you being self conscious about your boobs and him suggesting a boob job, it makes it seem like you also have a problem with his current body. Tell him it's fine, because big circumcised or uncircumcised is totally fine and normal. Let him know that it's not a big deal and that you love him just the way he is. And when you do eventually have sex (if you do) give him a complement about his penis, make him feel good about himself

[Mesonfielde]

That's a silly comparison. Him telling her to get a boob job would be equivalent if her parents performed liposuction on her boobs at the age of 14 so that she won't get back pains later, without her consent of course.

[aamy811]

@Mesonfielde but I he one being told to change their body it feels the same, like your not good enough for them. Or like there's something about you that they feel needs to be changed. Whether that's because their parents previously changed their body or because they're just naturally like that, it still seems like there something wrong with them

[Mesonfielde]

There kind of is. His foreskin is missing.

[aamy811]

@Mesonfielde that doesn't mean something's wrong with him. It's not endangering to his health. It doesn't seriously hurt someone. That's just the way his body is now. He shouldn't be made to feel like the only way he can still be attractive or okay is if he has foreskin, he should be able to be confident without it

[Mesonfielde]

Sure. I wouldn't feel that great about myself if I had had my arm surgically removed and there was a way to grow it back but people were told not to encourage me because "it's perfectly okay to miss an arm". You probably missed his painful erections due to his lack of foreskin

[aamy811]

@Mesonfielde no I think he should get help if he feels discomfort or pain. But if it's not then just encourage him to like his body the way it is now. ( this example is if he wasn't facing any discomfort) Don't tell him "your missing a foreskin, here are ways To change yourself". Instead tell him "your fine the way you are, if you want to change I support it but you don't have to. It doesn't make me like you less". Your being supportive of their deductions but your telling them they're fine either way. Bethany Hamilton the surfer who got her arm but off was encouraged by her mom to embrace being armless, but she told her if she wanted to look at other option it's fine

[WhatisMisophonia]

I think you make a good point in saying that she should tell him she has no problem with him as he is. That said, I recall hearing a story about a boy who was caught masterbating, and the parents held him down on the kitchen table and he was then circumcised without any anesthesia. Later on, I believe he sued the circumciser and had a surgical restoration done. Now he feels much better, sort of like he got back the piece of himself that his parents took away.

[RasmusAiken]

Foreskin restoration is totally unnecessary. But he might benefit from a circumcision revision if he has pain with sex. He should see a urology specialist.

[Octavion]

Woah wait, Doctors still do methods to stop kids from masturbating? I thought they stopped doing that like 80 years ago... You just tell your kid not to do it and hope he listens now a days...

[Asker]

His parents never confirmed or denied whether they decided to have it done on him for that reason. That's what the story logically implies, but I'm still hoping it was some dysfunction that needed medical attention... but if it wasn't and he'd be alright with the foreskin, I'd like to encourage him to restore it (at least manually, through tugging). Do you think it'd be OK?

[Anonymous]

I dont get it why it would hurt? I have cicumcised dick and i feel great while having sex rather than with this foreskin. I think it might have been doctors fault while performing the surgery. Circumcision doesn't have anything to do with masturbating as far as i can recall! te him to go to the doctor and then the doctor will help him. Doctor will definitely suggest him or give medication or perform a small surgery. So better to go to the doctor.