I just did a porn shoot...

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I'm a model professionally. Work has been TERRIBLY scarce. So I started looking for jobs, and ended up booking a "maxim style" project. When I actually got there, it turned out to be hardcore porn. I've never done that sort of thing before. They had 14 girls, and the scene was supposed to be a party scene that eventually becomes an orgy. They told me I didn't have to do anything too sexual, but I would make more money if I at least flashed my t*ts. I refused, and instead ended up more like a prospector/commentator then actually participating in the sex acts. One naked guy did start humping me ( I had clothes on), and I just ran away laughing, spilling beer all over the place. They tried really hard to pressure me to do more, but I wouldn't do it. But I didn't just leave because I really needed the money.anything like that again... Anyway, I made friends with some of the other girls. A lot of them di this stuff for a living, and they say they hate every minute of it but they need the cash. One girl says she can only do it if she's had some drugs before the shoot. Most of them lose they're boyfriends because of it after a while, or say they can't get dates when guys find out what they do. One girl was an escort on the side and said that after the guys had sex with her, they'd call her a whore and act like they were disgusted by her. She just quit having boyfriends all together. I think she sort of resents all men because of this. My question is...why do guys like to look at porn, but get all weirded out when it comes to actually seeing the girls in real life? These are real people with feelings, and that's kind of hypocritical, isn't it? The only girl who's Boyfriend didn't have a problem with it was because he worked for Playboy.

[Bvroon]

You have made an excellent observation of the hypocrisy of porn, and even though I too look at porn. I believe the reason this sort of double standard exists is for the same reason that all double standards exist, this being that most of the people that exercise such a double standard are insecure and immature. They haven't really evaluated how they feel on the issue that they have the double standard on with any degree of honesty, so they really can't explain why they feel the way they do, they just do, and as a defense they come up with any number of ridiculous excuses to support this feeling. Unfortunately if the person making the excuses isn't really all that intouch with thier EQ or emotional quotient they usually approach most emotional exerperiences this way and stumble about making any number of messes along the way. As for the why most men support this double standard? If I had to guess, it's revolving around the fact that porn is about fantasy, not reality. Men like to watch porn and look at it because we are very visually oriented when in comes to sexual stimulation, so we do like to watch. As far as actual practice is concerned most men would feel threatened by the fact that thier girlfiend/wife was having sex with somebody else and would feel jealous, is this understood by the man in question? Not likely so the excuses and name calling begin to justify thier lack of understanding. it is always easier to persecute someone if you can make them less human, thus the name calling. This unfortunate trait is also seen in biggots or racists. Speaking for myself, while I look at porn, I have no illusions about the trade, in that I would never want to be a porn star, not only do I seriously doubt anybody would wish to pay me to see me naked, but I fear it would do nothing to foster any sort of healthy relationship with my wife whom I Love dearly, the other main reason I wouldn't want to be in the industry is because I wouldn't want to take an activity I really really enjoy and turn it into work. I hope this helps you some, and by the way congrats to you for not compromising yourself, you are more true to yourself. I would hope that the other women that you encountered are able to find work more to thier liking.

[Professor_Zoom]

Porn is fantasy pure and simple. When men watch it, it channels something primal in their heads because that is what they want to be doing. But in reality they have no respect for the women, and see them as only sex objects and may act like that is all they are good for. And that's kind of the way society has made it I guess. And the escort, and the guys who called her a whore and acted disgusted. They only say and do that to justify what they just did. Calling them a whore makes them feel better about themselves because they had to resort to paying a woman to have sex. You tell me who is the pathetic one? The woman getting paid, or the man who couldn't get any unless he paid?

[Titi18]

BEST ANSWER!

[2doves4me]

Wow, very interestign and well thoguht out answer

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

There's a HUGE difference between being a model (even a nude model) and doing p*rn. I 100% understand you boyfriend dumping you because you are doing p*rn (or doing more traditional prostitution). It's not a double standard, either. The entire issue is about having sex with other people. Most boyfriends, while not particularly bothered over your past, simply won't tolerate you having sex with other people in present time (as in while you are supposed to be in a relationship with the boyfriend). Most girls would have the same rules regarding their boyfriend. It matters not that you are being paid to have sex, it's still breaking the rules. Seriously, would you expect your boyfriend to "understand" if you were a paid hit man? After all, murder is OK if someone is paying you to do it and you have not emotions invested in the situation? Right?

Now, back to the topic at hand. Watching a video of two other people having sex is one thing. Watching a video of your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with someone else is quite another. I'm not here to defend p*rn, but I am pointing out that the issues isn't the p*rn specifically, its that you are having sex with someone else.

[Lady_Death77731612]

you know, I never really looked at it that way. I never thought that the girls would hate every minute of it or how sh*tty it makes them feel. it sucks that there is such a double standard for women when it comes to this. but that's what women put up with mainly because we live in a society that is still in the mentality that women are just lower than men. its just not the porn industry that uses women. its practically everywhere. even in religion women are lower than men. its funny, they need us to carry their offspring but they still treat us like sh*t give us the crappy jobs and want to use every part of us like some tool. I'm happy you didn't go through with much. I honestly hope you never do it again. you are worth more that a couple of hundred bucks, by you refusing to do much shows that you have dignity and that my dear is one thing that is worth more than diamonds or anything that any man could ever give you and the only thing that cannot be taken from you. no matter what happens you will always have your dignity.

xoxoxoxoxox

Lady D

[m3TALchick]

This is a very hypocrisy and different standards subject. Porn is pleasure for the mind, not everyone wants to do things in the flesh that they watch. In my opinion, I wish that girls would stop having sex for money, because I think their bodies should be treated like gold. I just think that the excuse of doing p*rn for money is overrated. I wish they would be honest and say why they really do it, cause there are other ways to make money. I know the economy is bad, but there is still something out there for everyone. I think its just a very less respect pressuring business to get into and in the end it just makes you feel less and less like a human being and more like a piece of meat.

[TeresaTiger]

It sounds like this is actually some made up sly anti-porn propaganda or you just had a very unfortunate and uncommon experience with some people who are not really in the real porn business. There are a lot of amateur do-it-yourself wannabe porn people that take advantage of men and especially women who don't know any better. What you described is nothing like the real professional porn studios. I'm in the business myself and I know. I will admit that not all of the the professional companies are respectful of the actors but most these days are. The real porn industry is much different in the last 8 years than it used to be.

[s3tupMayne]

Well, the two things you consider about adult modeling:

1) Models in the adult industry pretty much only date each other because only they understand

2) They are the representation of a raw and animalistic sexual ideal, hence the term "porn model" (the name explains it all)

Trying to sell your sex can be degrading if you go any more explicit than glamour modeling. It is difficult to remove your sense of worth from how others treat you (despite them not understanding what you are going through) and having a background such as adult modeling doesn't make things better.

Men (and of course, women as well) are hypocritical because they lack the empathy to try to understand what these girls are going through. It's difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone walking a path so foreign to your own. Part of the issue is that society tends to be quick to judge others for not living up to some standard that everybody must reach, rather than try to look at the reasons that drives someone to make the choices they do. It takes an extremely non-conservative mind to separate selling one's sex for money and the quality of someone's character. There are a few men and women out there who would be willing to accept the person as more than just as sex object, but those special people are few and far between.

I can't say I would know how I would react to find out a girl I date has done such things as adult modeling or stripping. It would come down to who she is and how I know her. However, I have wondered what the actors and actresses must be like behind the scenes. I am curious and truthfully, I await the day.

[TheAnswerer]

It is sort of like this:

Would you marry your daughter to the person who collects your garbage? No. Why not? They are humans too!

Also, you like to get your garbage cleaned by them, so why not like them in person?

Same logic applies here.

You like to watch porn, but if you think of it logically, it is disgusting that they are selling their bodies (that's what they're doing in a way).

-------------------

Another way to approach this is emotion vs. logic. We don't always go with our logic. That's why "love is blind", right? We go with the emotions. Well, watching porn is totally about emotions. You feel horny, you watch porn.

Then, in real life, you look at things more logically. Someone you meet may be a pornstar, and that is logically the worst job she can have.

Emotions vs. logic, that's what its all about.

[EmberlyMai]

That's sounds awful! Sorry you had to suffer for that. Screw the money. Get out of it while you can. Get a boring job if the modeling isn't giving you enough money.

[Jessica1810]

Find another industry to work in - you will regret it hon, there are not many women who come out of he porn industry unscathed.

As for the guys who hate on their female colleagues - well, as many of the guys on here pointed out, it's self-loathing - stay away from those kinds of people.

[dontknowanymore]

Don't be abused just because you're low on cash. You'll regret it eventually. The economy will pick up, but it will take time. Waitress, do retail, but don't go into porn. Please!

What's sad is most men don't realize the girls they see on Internet porn are not willing participants of sexual acts, but were pressured or manipulated into engaging in porn. WHen you view the girls as victims, it puts a different perspective on the whole porn industry.

[LakerFan323]

we can't forget that porn movies and porn stars are strictly made to portray our fantasies. We fantasize things all the time but if given the chance to get one of those fantasies fulfilled there are also certain things that come along with them (i.e. catches..). So yea, any guy would want a real hot girl with a beautiful body like the stuff that is available on the internet, but can we deal with the fact that her profession involves getting intimate with other random males? Personally I wouldn't be able to deal with it, I don't really see it as hypocitical because there's a fine line drawn in that seperates fantasy with what's real.

[InquisitiveMale]

We don't relate what we watch to the real deal. Linking someone to the actual deed makes it real. I’ve watched porn in the past and I’ll watch it in the future, however, I would never date a porn actress. I don’t think it’s hypocritical at all. We watch shows related to murders, violence, and drugs. That doesn’t mean we want to deal with such acts in real life.

Whore; a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money.

A porno actress is a whore by definition. Although I don’t condone calling them such things, they are whores. You can’t argue the facts. Just because it’s controlled and regulated does not change anything.

MY opinion, not yours.

Cheers

.

[Asker]

Good point.

[Febe1444]

if a guy has a girlfriend that does that for money, they don't see it as a job. The see it as another male banging their chick. It's a difference of perspective. I personally wouldn't want a boyfriend who bangs other girls.. even if he is tested regularly and has protection, I could still get some kind of disease because of his profession. not fair.

Esp if these girls get treated like trash and some strange man jizz's on their face..

seriously, are you surprised?

i understand cash.. but there are other ways to make money if its that important.

even a job at mcd's.

i am by all means not knocking on people that do porn. whatever.. that's cool with me..

[Subotai]

That is pretty stupid. I will admit I have looked at plenty of porn but I can't understand why guys who do would be mean to girls that do that. That's just hypocritical. I feel like if you watch it you really are no "better" than doing it

[browolf]

the best porn-ish type things are where they're obviously doing it because they want to, there are some places like that on the net. But you're best of acquiring some other skills that can hold you over whilst modelling is thin on the ground. go to college, do some night classes, whatever other interests you have. you would probably do well in 'sales' type jobs. Those other girls are probably what happens when you don't cover all your bases. Now you've seen it and how it's messed them up, do whatever it takes to avoid having to go back.

[Julian]

Get out as soon as possible. The longer you do pornography, the worse you'll feel about yourself, the more abused, and in need of drugs you'll be. Run, don't walk, away from that scene and those pimps.

[Asker]

Actually, the scary thing is... you sort of get a bit desensitized. After this experience, the idea does freak me out anymore.

[ArizonaRX]

This is an old post, but after reading it just proves what I say to girls all the time. PORN IS A FUEL FOR MENS FANTASIES. IT'S A SPARK TO OUR IMAGINATION TO GET US GOING.

Most of use honestly don't want a porn star as a wife or girlfriend.

[chettah-two]

porn is just glorified prostitution...

Good for you for not doing something YOU WERE NOT comfortable with.

And no normal guy wants to date a girl who uses her body for money...

[dave216]

Most people, including males are rather narrow minded. That would include you. You wanted to be paid for being photographed, but you didn't want to follow the director's instructions. That is being a bit narrow minded. The human body is beautiful, and as natural as it gets. It is only societal conditioning that makes you feel awkward being naked in front of people. Our species was naked for thousands of years before anybody tried clothing, and the way things are going, we may all be there again one of these days.

[Asker]

I'm not narrow minded; they lied about the nature of the shoot til we actually got there. And I've done nude shots before. If they payed me more, I'd have at least flashed my t*ts. But it was only for 50 bucks more; screw that. I think you're sort of full of it with the "societal conditioning" because those girls weren't conditioned to feel the way they did.

[EmberlyMai]

Porn is different from modelling and thinking that doesn't make me narrow minded.

[kriskiss]

sounds like a lie

[tex151]

Porn is a dirty business to get into, aids, stds, all kinds of fun stuff. Most girl porn stars are strung out on crack or some sort of drug, same goes with strippers, and those are the type of girls who are emotionally unstable and insecure, there you go guys, for the record not the type I go for. I had a friend who dated a stripper and he said it was the worst relationship ever, she was doing coke all the time and all kinds of drugs, he had to end it. Porn stars do drugs to hide all their other issues, plus they get free smack if they come back and do more porn if you can get them hooked on drugs well you can get them to do anything you want, which is why you shouldn't do drugs.

Most guys if you asked them would you do a porn star they would say yes, but if you said would you date a porn star, they would say hell no, those chicks are messed up. Plus why would we want to have sex with some chick who just got railed by 10 guys earlier that day, it would be like putting your d*** in a coffee can. They may have feelings but they chose that profession so it is their fault if they get all screwed up from it, and either become a whore or never find a bf.

[sarahjohnston09]

Im thinking they like it soo much because they are never seeing the people on the screen they are seeing them and someone they want to be with. Maybe that's it. I mean me I have no problems with girls that do things like that because I'm sure that if I ever needed the money I would bee out there doing the same things. I woulndn't be proud of it but I would do it. I mean some men forget that they are real people because to them they are just some person on the big screen. You know? I think that the men that have done this need to be slapped because no matter what you do in life you are still a human being with feelings and a heart.

[ryanontario]

some guys just don't like the idea of there girl being with other guys , even if they find porn or the models in them sexy . they don't want there girlfriend to be a pornstar in general . some guys might find it sexy at first but get sick of it after a while .

[aggregate]

Being a porn star is just another job, granted its probably a lot more enjoyable then other jobs, but still just a job. I think guys that treat those women as whores are damned idiots because they are narrow minded. Sexuality is prevalent in society today and as such there should be no discrimination about such things. Fething double standard strikes again.