Sexual Health
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My boyfriend fingered me last night?

i've neve had sex. usually when we are together, he will go down on me or he will rub my clit, but i never have an orgasm. he has tried to stick his finger into my vagina but i always stopped him because it hurt. last night i told him to do it even though it was very painful. he tried and by the end of the night he was able to stick the whole thing in. he then started to thrust it in and out forecfully. it was painful, but it became less painful through the night. we did this to help open me up. he has had sex several times, but i've never done it, so he knows what he's doing. he used a lot of lube and slowly tried to go in, but he couldn't even get the tip in because it was so painful and i had to push him away. why is it so painful? do other girls just suck it up and wait for it to stop hurting? i'm not sure how to go about this...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • A vagina needs to fill with blood just like a penis, there is erectile tissue inside your vagina that helps the vaginal canal open up a bit and become longer inside you when you are aroused, if you are not fully aroused any type of penetration will hurt. He shouldn't have been forceful with you at all! You wouldn't try to have sex with a flaccid penis so why would you try to have sex with an unaroused vagina. If he can't even get you fully aroused he obviously doesn't know as much as he wants you to think he does. My boyfriend made sure I was dripping, swollen, and bright pink because of all the blood down there before we had sex the first time and I had no pain at all. He also asked me to be on top and I put it in myself.

  • He shouldn't be using any kind of forcefullness. I experienced a fair bit of pain at first too, but like the fingering it can become less painful and more uncomfortable. What he SHOULD be doing is turning you on... A LOT before he tries any form of penetration. He can try making you orgasm first (even if it means introducing a vibrating toy to your clit) or at least getting you thoroughly turned on before entering. Lots of lube, go slow and gentle and just let him go a little deeper each time. Do this over a period of time if it hurts too much.

  • Sounds about right lol. Fingering hurt me at first and fingering didn't really help when it came to him putting his penis in me lol.
    It's ok to try and stop, that's what I did too
    I did try and push through the pain but it just wasn't happening and I wasn't in the mood
    When I did finally get it all the way in though I WANTED it to happen and I stuck with trying for a good 30-45 mins,

    • And it's hard to be truly relaxed when this is all new to you! Everyone always says to relax, but in the moment you're as relaxed as you can be ! Tell him to try two fingers after doing it with one finger for a while. The first time will hurt, but only before he gets the whole thing in. Once it's in it goes very smoothly, it's not constant pain. (Though I remember it do take me a few minutes of him thrusting normally for it to stop hurting so I could enjoy t, but my guy went slow and gentle until I started moaning before he went faster)

  • if you feel like you're ready then just take a deep breath and let him fuck you.
    just be really relaxed, try not to think about the pain. after the first few times the pain will stop an it will just start to feel good...

Most Helpful Guys

  • U sound like you were tense and relaxed enough or wet enough for your vagina to open up. Keep trying young girls seem to think great sex is just down to the man but it really takes two. Take your time and try different things like masturbate to by yourself to learn how to orgasman, try different positions, plenty of foreplay, dress up is always fun, plenty of cuddles. Communicating what you like and what he likes is a must. Personally I recommend u both spend a night together in bed naked in the spooning postion with your butt touching his junk and try again in the morning. But chilax and take your time great sex doesn't happen over night it takes time and effort. Enjoy

  • forcefully is not the way. i think he needs too work on his oral sex methods a bit you are obviously not ready for sexual intercourse. there is also a condition called vaginatitus. it occurs when a girl fears penetration enough that she clamps down on her muscles so tight that painless penetration is not possible. a doctor will give you a series of dilators to stretch you out and help you relax those muscles for easy penetration. but if you are trying to have sex under the parental radar that would expose you so you may just have to suffer the pain if you really want to have sex with this guy..

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 8

  • Look up vaginismus. That may be what's going on.

    How does it work if you put your finger inside?

  • Doesn't seem to me like he really knows what he's doing.
    If he did you would not be under stress or even really thinking about it going in. It would just go in because you desire it so much.

  • You might need to relax more while he's fingering you
    along with him lots of lube.

    • *along with him using lots of lube

  • It may be that you're very anxious and your anxiety makes the muscles surrounding the entrance to your vagina tense up. Also, if you're not aroused enough, your vagina won't expand like it's supposed to.

  • 'forcefully' isn't certainly what you need!
    He should do it softly and gently: softly stroking your delicate bits.

  • If that's hurting then it will hurt the first time. You need to ask yourself if it is worth the pain to have sex with this guy.

  • Try to get rid of your fears , it is easy, think in pleasure not in pain

  • wait for it to stop hurting? :/

  • If you're really nervous about it, you'll be tense and it'll make it more difficult for you to open up. Maybe you should take it even more slowly and become more comfortable with him first before trying to have sex.

  • It's hurting because your mind isn't in it. If you're fully into it and your body is relaxed it won't hurt because you're natural juices will help him to slide in and out with ease and without hurting you.

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