I have the biggest crush on my wife's friend.

I have fell into the biggest crush with my wife's friend and its driving me crazy. I feel like a kid again with it and its dumb I know but I can't get over it. She is just so cute and funny and we get along so well. It started when she moved in with us for a few months and we became really good friends. I would consider her one of my best friends now. We hang out together and go see movies and go out to eat and everything. My wife knows about the crush because I told her and she is fine with it. She trust me and her friend and knows nothing will ever happen. Well while she was living with us the crush started happening and one day while it was just me and her at the house she went to take a shower and the bathroom door didn't latch and her cat pushed it open further. When she got out I saw her totally naked which got me pretty excited. We have had talks about if I wasn't with my wife we would be a good couple. there is a lot more to it but what am I supposed to do? If she ever wanted to sleep with me I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to pass it up.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're having an emotional affair. Those can often lead to a sexual affair. Your wife SHOULD be very worried. An emotional affair is more dangerous than a physical affair. You clearly like this girl a lot, are spending a lot of time with her and want to go further with her. She knows you are married but is clearly enjoying the attention or she would not be spending so much time with you.

    You have to make a decision on what you are going to do. I can tell you that emotional affairs cause havoc on your life as I was in one. There is no good outcome...someone is going to get hurt. In my case, my husband never found out (we never had sex but did other things), but I am the one paying the price because I can't be with the person I want to be with. I am in an unhappy marraige and it has led me into a depression. Its great while its happening...then you realize you will never have a normal relationship with that person (i.e...go out to dinner, etc). It will all be a secret. The only way it can be a normal relationship is if you get divorced. Even then, there are no guarantees.

    I suggest you keep her as your fantasy & nothing more. Unless, you want to go down a painful path. Best of luck...I KNOW how very hard it is to resist what seems so perfect.


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What Girls Said 5

  • Umm...this sound exactly. well sort of what happened to me one time. Except that I still live in the house and they are separated, not my fault! Well I am a good gal, those that are difficult to find or so my friends say. It happened that I was looking for a place to move in because I wanted to leave my relatives house. My friend had just bought a house with her husband and they had one open room so they offered it to me until I find another place. after one semester I decided its time to move but they didn't let me, more his idea than hers..anyways after much thought I decided to stay. The three of us became really good friends. We would go out to eat, movie or just hang out the three of us, sometimes I would just say I had to do something else so that they can enjoy sometime alone too.Anyways, I just thought her husband was a really nice and sweet guy but nothing else and I kinda knew that he was attracted to me or he like me. I am not conceited but to add to this I just wanted to say all guys I meet start to like me. I have a great personality and I am attractive, so I just kinda knew he was no exception especially that he really gets to know my personality very well since we live together you know. Anyways, my girl friend confessed to me while we were cooking together that her husband had a crush on me and that if he had a chance he would do me... she also said that if she would let him sleep with someone else that would be me. I totally flipped out and felt uncomfortable and I didn't know what to say! My friend told me that they had a really open conversation all the time but I just thought it was awkward that she would even consider that knowing how she is. I have known her like a prude and very conservative so that was weird! She knew me pretty well and she knew I'd never do anything that would compromised anyone relationship and its true I know myself and my limits. anyways, since that day I started to back off a bit from them. I would rarely go out with them and mostly distant myself from him. They aren't together now, not because of me but they had their own problems and one of them was that he had to be relocated to another state for work. I still live in the house but I do believe my friend had a self esteem issue just like ur wife and she was very insecure. I never misbehaved in their house and never made him think that we could be something but I have to admit that maybe I flirted with him during convos but that is part of my personality. I'm a natural flirter and it just happen that I do it with everybody so I had no control over that but I never crossed the line. A lot of people don't believe that another girl could live in a couple house and that it would create problems, even one of my best friend was wary about that when I told her I was moving into a friend couple's house but like I always said the guy would go as far as the girl let him go, but not all girls are like me so its like playing w/fire. I don't want a girl in my house.

  • Wait, this woman and you have discussed how you would make a good couple if you weren't with your wife? And she let you see her in the shower? And you go out to eat with her alone?... ?!

    I feel sorry for your wife. Her friend is obviously no friend. You are betraying your wife by allowing yourself to get close to this woman. If your wife is cool enough to trust you to hang out with other women, then you should be mature and decent enough not to betray her.

    You can stop yourself from sleeping with this other woman by simply not doing it. You have the power to make decisions. She is not bewitching you into acting on your attraction.

    You made the decision to get married. If you feel that you can't honor your vows, then you need to tell your wife so that she can decide whether or not to move on. Personally, I think it is really wrong and disrespectful towards your wife to be getting involved with one of her friends. The "friend" should be kicked out of your house for her behavior.

    • Some people just don't read well I guess, She USED to live with us she doesn't anymore, and she didn't Let me see her in the shower she doesn't even no I did I just happened to see her get out

    • Yeah, I guess it just doesn't seem that important to me whether she used to live with you or still does. And I don't know about the shower thing being an "accident". The bottom line is, I think you probably know what the right thing to do here is. Either end it with your wife or control yourself and don't cheat on your wife with her "friend".

  • Your wife must be completely INSECURE or seriously fears losing you. I have male friends. But I NEVER cross the line where their wives or significant others are concerned. The two of you have crossed the line. if the situation were to present itself...I STRONGLY agree that you would sleep with her. Why would you tell your wife that you had a crush on her friend? I have found my boyfriends' male friends very attractive and interesting...But uumm..I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Honestly, this 'woman' needs to move out your house ASAP before the two of you begin to do something that you will deeply regret!

    Your wife may need some serious counseling to address her self-esteem issues. Why would you put 'temptation' in your husband's face {Unless you wanted a THREESOME}?

  • This is why I won't get married

    This is why I don't believe in marriage (not natural)

    You married somebody knowing full well it meant "sleeping with your wife" and nobody else.

    Either you divorce your wife or kick the girl out - no other choices. Having a 3 some is a horrible IDEA - as it will just make you want her more.

    • Well she doesn't live with us anymore but she is around a lot

  • dude you are nuts and your wife is dumb...

    you three are just playing with fire and everyone will get burned sooner than later...

    two simple choices in this matter

    she moves out and you have no contact with her


    you have three way with the two of them...

    cause the longer your near her

    the closer you are to acting on sleeping with her.


What Guys Said 1

  • Your wife, knowing how you feel about about her friend, has chosen to trust you. It's your job, now, to be worthy of that trust.

    Crush all you want, but keep your distance, and certainly don't find yourself alone with her. (That shower stunt was stupid. Don't do it again.)

    P.S.: Unless your wife really enjoys hearing it, keep your crushes to yourself.

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